Before snow falls
by ilovemyself26
Summary: Spencer Carlin is a figure skating athlete.. She was the ice queen for years but what will happen when she meets the Ashley Davies gold medal champion in snowboarding?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey.. you didn't miss me much.. But I couldn't stay away from writing again.. This is my new story I was telling you about.. Hope you like it.. It was on my mind while writing my last one.. So let's start.. Don't we? Hope I don't disappoint you..**

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**Chapter 1**

The mind and the body are two things inseparable.. When your mind tells you to act your body act to that thought. And that is how I learned to think and act at the same time.

Being an athlete is not easy. When you are outside you think that everything is simple. But it is not. You have to practice; you can not do what other people do in your age. But if it is something you ever wanted then you go for it. You don't care about what you could have. You care for what you want to have. And if you are a professional athlete and your goal is the Olympics then everything else doesn't matter..

My dream was always to skate.. I love ice skating. It is my passion. When I was little I remember watching a documentary about Katarina Witt. Katarina Witt was two times Olympic Figure Skating Champion. I saw her on the ice and she was like she was flying. That moment was crucial in my life. I loved ice skating but then it was when I wanted something more. I wanted to be a champion myself..

I was five years old when my mom took me to Ohio National Ice-Skating stadium. It was an hour drive from our house to there but I was so excited. I didn't care. My dream was starting to come true..

When we got inside I still remember the cold from the stadium. Other kids like me and older skating. They were like fire bugs. It was my fairy tale and I was ready to be a part of it..

My mom was so proud of me. She was a part of what I was doing and the coaches always told her that I could be great someday. When we started we were like 50 kids but as the time passed we were left only 20 both girls and boys. Ice skating is not easy. You have to sacrifice things as you do with other sports too. And some kids weren't ready to do such sacrifices.

Growing older I was the town champion. I was the best my team had. I won every contest. I was always on the top. I was starting to become the new Katarina Witt. My goal was always the Olympics. Up until I was 14 I was a figure champion. I learned to work alone. But then my coach thought that it would be best if I was paired. At first my world crushed. How on earth he could do that to me. I was the best figure ice skating athlete. He told me that I would look better being paired because ice skating is like ballet.

In my team were still the 20 kids we started from the beginning. 12 girls and 8 boys. My coach paired me with the one and only Aiden Denninson. At least I was lucky. He was the most good looking guy. And he was a good skater. I guess I could try..

At the beginning I didn't like him. I was still in alone mode. I couldn't work with another person and when he looked at me with his green blue eyes it was still difficult for me to concentrate. But together we were hot. We were the most beautiful couple on ice. Spencer Carlin and Aiden Denninson.

We worked really hard but eventually we were the best. We were the top pair. Everyone was talking about us. We were something new for them. We were ambitious and we both wanted the same thing. The gold medal to the Olympics.

Aiden and I came close. If you are with someone 12 hours a day he becomes your family, your best friend, your brother, your other half. I wasn't ready to have a relationship yet. I didn't want to lose my goal. But Aiden was there with me. We were together in this. And I just fall in his arms metaphorically and literally.

Now we are together for three years. We didn't start our relationship from the beginning but there was flirting. We did go to the winter Olympics in Torino. It was our first time as Olympic athletes and we wanted to be perfect. I wanted to be perfect..

The competition was difficult. It's one thing when you are the states champion and other thing when you compete countries all over the world. There were some good athletes. And I was so ready to go out there and show them who I was and what I could do. And Aiden would be there to help me..

I did my best. We did our best but that wasn't enough. Russia came first. Russia always is at the top three. We came fifth. I was so sad that day. I was sad, angry, and I cried. I started to question myself if I was that good. Maybe I wasn't after all. Maybe all these sacrifices I did were for nothing.

Everyone was beside me. Telling me that I was still young and I could go to next Olympics. 2010. Canada. _If the mind tells you to act you just act._ And that's what I did. I wanted to act. I wanted to try. I would try to be the best.

And that is when I came closer to Aiden. That is when we started to like each other some more. And it was a nice feeling. He was my best friend. Some one I could rely on. He was there for me, to catch me whenever I fell. And I felt safe with him..

But I didn't know what would happen when I was trying for my next Olympics.. When we were returning from Torino all I could hear was about some Davies girl who won the gold medal in snowboarding. I haven't heard about her. I didn't know who she was. And snowboarding? Really? Is that a sport? You are on a board and you just come down the slopes .. Too difficult. Try to do an anxel and then a triple toe toloop and stand with one foot on ice.. That was what I thought..

I never saw her doing her sport and I didn't watch anything that had nothing to do with ice skating. My nick name was the ice queen. Maybe I was. I didn't care for anyone. I always had one goal. And one goal only..

So even though we were back to the states I still could hear everyone talk about the Davies girl. I wouldn't let myself to go and find out who that girl was. I didn't care. Aiden were asking me 'did you see her? She was amazing.' And all I did was not answering to him. Why did I have to see her? She was that amazing? Well she got the gold so maybe she was..

After a month, yes a month, I searched the internet about her. They had uploaded on the internet her winning. I was curious and I wanted to see who that girl was that everyone was talking about.. So I searched her and I sat down to watch her finals..

She was like she was flying.. Like she was surfing on the snow.. Her board was her wings.. She did some amazing turns and jumps and her time was a world record.. Everyone cheered about her and why not.. She was amazing.. When she was down to give an interview she rose her mask and I saw her eyes.. I couldn't take my eyes of her.. They had that sweet chocolate brown.. And I caught myself to look even deeper.. That moment I closed my pc.. Why I was looking at her like that? She was a great athlete and I was just admiring her skills.. Yes, that was it..

But it wasn't that.. Because from the first time I saw her in that video I couldn't take her out of my mind. Her eyes was in my mind looking at me.. Looking inside my soul.. But why I was still thinking of her.. It wasn't normal to think about her like that. And I had Aiden.. Aiden.. yes, my boyfriend. My pair on ice.. No.. Ashley Davies wasn't, wouldn't be in my mind..

I tried not to think of her again but when everyone talks about her it's a little bit difficult..

Well it was difficult to see her again.. I only could watch her when she was participating to contests. Her sport was in the mountains and mine was in a stadium.. I would never see her.. Only in the next Olympic Games.. Three years for now.. And I couldn't wait.. I would buy a ticket to see her live..

So the next three years all I did was practicing. Practicing with Aiden and practicing alone. I wanted to get that gold medal and I wanted to see Ashley.. I know I could never meet her.. She was like an eagle. She was flying and I was there watching her. I knew about her and she didn't know I existed.. How she could? I didn't get the gold medal not even the bronze..

"Hey sweetie? What are you thinking about?"

"Ah.. nothing Aid.. I am just tired.. We worked really hard today"

"Yes, Alexei was hard.. Why does he push us like that?"

"Because that is his job Aid. He wants to get the gold as we do"

"Yeah, but come on. We have a life.. Jesus Spence, we are training from when we were 5. We are 22 now. He has to understand that we have a life and that I want some alone time with you"

"Aid, baby.. I think that is why he is pushing us too much. He want us to focus.. And after the Olympics we can relax a little. We are leaving for Canada in a week so we have not to think anything than practicing ok? So forget the night walks inside my room"

"Oh, come on.."

"Nope.. After the Olympics.. You have to be focused"

Aiden pouted but there was no way I could do anything with him while it was time for us to focus.. Focus.. Yes.. I could see the Ashley Davies again after four years.. She hasn't left my mind all this time.. Maybe it was because I was admiring her, like I was admiring Katarina Witt..

And now all I could think was that a week was too far away.. This year the American Winter Team would travel together.. I would be at the same plane with her.. Now I was nervous..

"Spencer? Why are you nervous?"

"What?"

"You are nervous.. Everything is going to be fine babe.. You will see.. We studied everyone's moves. We are more prepared than four years ago.. This year it's our year. We will return winners.. So stop being nervous."

He thinks I am nervous about that? Yes, I might be. But all I can think off is that Ashley Davies is sitting four seats away from mine.. I saw her when she got on board. I could never forget her face.. When she got in with her teammates I heard her laugh and everyone greeted her and wished her good luck.. And she sat four seats in front of me.. And all I can think of is her brown curls and her chocolate brown eyes..

"Spence? Why are you closing your eyes? Are you feeling ok?" why all of a sudden Aiden pisses me off? Why he asks me so many things that I can't give him answers to? What I would tell him anyway? That I am thinking Ashley Davies?

"I'm ok Aid. Just nervous. That all"

"Did you see the Davies girl?"

"Hmm?"

"The Davies.. The champion? You haven't seen her?"

"Did I have to?"

"Why are you like this?"

"Like how Aid?"

"I don't know.. Like this.."

"Aiden, all I care right now is us winning the gold. Ok? Don't assume things.."

"Ok.. Spence.. whatever you say.." I didn't like treating him like this. He was my boyfriend, he was my pair on ice.. I just turned my face looking at him and kissed him tenderly on his lips.. I don't like this PDA thing.. More or less inside a plane full of athletes..

And I wouldn't let my mind think Ashley Davies.. Because if I would let it then it would act.. And that would be wrong in so many ways..

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**TBC**

**That was the first chapter.. Chapter by chapter we will go there.. Sorry if it is short but it was an introduction and what we may see from now on.. Hope you liked it..**

**Reviews are always welcome..**

**xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys.. Thank you all so much for the instant response to my new story!! I saw old friends and some new ones.. So lets continue with the second chapter..**

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**Chapter 2**

You can't turn off your mind.. Even when you sleep your mind is still on.. They call it subconscious.. So when you dream is it because your mind wants you to think or because you already have been thinking it? But either way.. Why conscious or unconscious I have been thinking a specific person with brown eyes? Why after all this long she hasn't left my mind? Answers to questions I don't know if I have the answer..

And what if what you dreamt all this long is still four seats in front of you laughing, being relaxed, being teased by her teammates.. I envy her.. I wish I could be like her.. She seems like she enjoys it.. I from the other hand I feel pressure, I feel nervous and I definitely I am not relaxed.. Two reasons.. One I am here to be a winner and two.. I guess you know the second reason..

Aiden is the best boyfriend.. He is caring, lovely, he takes care of me in so many ways.. But.. there is this but.. I love him, I do.. But lately I find myself not being in love with him.. He was my first relationship and he was like me.. An athlete.. A figure ice skate athlete. It would be perfect.. He would know what sacrifices need to be a star, he would know when I would need my space, he would know things that no one else would understand.. I guess it's common for athletes to be in relationship with other athletes.. It is easier that way.. No drama..

And now we are here. In a plane traveling to Canada. In a plane where all I can think of is my dreams.. A plane which hold my dreams and one dream that I don't know if I want to be true.. But what if your mind meets your heart? What if your mind tells you one thing and your heart another? What you do then?

"Spence?"

"Hmm?"

"What are you thinking again?"

"Nothing.. I was just.. nothing"

"Ok.. Spence.. I am going to greet Ashley Davies"

"WHAT?"

"Hey.. what's the problem? Everyone went to say a hi to her and say good luck.."

"Why? Is it necessary?"

"Spence.. I don't know what is your problem.. Really.. But I am going.. Ok? You may sit here and be the ice queen as everyone calls you"

Ice queen.. Not a good nick name to be called.. But I guess I am.. I never wanted to get in touch with anyone.. I didn't need friends inside this sport.. Friends are disposable and jealous.. I had a goal and neither of them would take it from me.. That's why I was always the best.. Because I was focused to what I do.. To what I love..

And Aiden is going to meet Ashley Davies.. The snowboard queen.. The girl that everyone seems to love.. The girl who obviously is the opposite of me.. The girl who I think about and she doesn't know it.. The girl that takes my mind away and I am losing my focus.. That girl..

I was next to the window and I was looking outside.. Sometimes I wish I could fly.. To be carefree.. Up here everything seems so quiet.. So free.. Up here I wouldn't think of her, I wouldn't think of Aiden and what he is talking with her 15 minutes now.. I wouldn't sit four seats behind her and think of her.. I wouldn't think of her..

All this is frustrating and now all I have to do is not to lose my focus.. I must not lose control over feelings I thought I would never have..

"Babe.. hey?"

"I see you finished your meet and greet with the snowboard queen?" irony? That's what I do best..

"She is great Spence.. We talked like we knew each other for years.. She is very kind"

"I see.. So what you were saying all this long?"

"Well I went there and introduced myself.. She gave me her hand immediately and told me to have a seat with her.. She asked me for what sport I am here.. She seems that she doesn't know too much of ice skating.. She said 'not exactly my thing'. She is funny actually.."

"Good for her then.."

"Spencer.. She is nice.. You don't even know her.. Why you feel so antagonistic with everyone?"

"Of course I don't know her and what the use of knowing her? We don't even do the same sport. She is good to that and I am good to what I do. Simple as that.." _if only you knew Aiden.. _

"Anyway.. but it would be great if for once you could be friendly.. She is a good person you know"

"I am sure.. Thanks but not thanks.. We are here for the gold and not to meet new people Aiden. I hope you still know for what reason we are here"

"Of course I know.. And even if I wanted to forget you wouldn't leave me"

"Aiden.. it wasn't my choice to do this pair thing.. I worked alone.. And now that I am doing this I want to be perfect if you know what I mean"

"I wish sometimes.."

"What Aiden?"

"Nothing.. You wouldn't understand.."

We didn't say anything else.. I knew I was being harsh on him.. But all these years I was the bitch queen of the ice.. I had to continue to wear this mask.. Because day by day I was feeling that I was starting to lose that mask and that would be wrong.. For Aiden, for me.. for her..

"Spencar, Aden.. I heve tha keys for ya room" Alexei.. Our Russian coach. He was the best years ago.. He is a gold champion and now he is our coach.. He is good, the best actually. But he is pushing us very hard.. He wants perfection.. He wants that gold as we do.. Sacrifices..

"Why we don't stay together Alexei? I don't know where the problem is" That would be Aiden.. He doesn't understand that Alexei although he knows that we are together he doesn't want us staying together when we have championships.. Poor Aiden..

"действительно ли Вы серьезны? Вы не понимаете ничто?"

"Excuse me?" oh I laughed really hard.. I needed it that.. Alexei when is mad he speaks in Russian which we don't understand of course but he is funny..

"Aden.. ya kill me.. I said are ya serious? Don't ya understand?"

"Alexei.."

"Niet. Ya room and her room.. Tomorrow 6 at tha stadium.. Practice.. Den ya can do what evar ya want"

"But.."

"Ya room.. now"

"Da Alexei" we said unison.. Ok we know two words..

I was still laughing..

"Why are you laughing Spence? Do you think this funny?"

"I am sorry Aid (laugh) That was funny (laugh).. After all these years? Don't you know him?"

"I thought that now he is older he would understand.. Will you stop laughing?"

"Ok.. I am sorry.." and I laughed again.. I didn't laugh like this I don't know for how long.. We were at the reception with keys in our hands, me still laughing when I heard someone calling Aiden.. It was a melodic voice but with all these people here I couldn't see who that was..

"AIDEN.. AIDEN.."

"Aid, I think that someone is searching for you.."

Aiden turned his head to where this voice coming from and when he did I saw who that was.. Ashley.. Ashley Davies.. And she was waving her hand so he could see her.. When Aiden did the same I.. I had to leave.. I couldn't be there.. I couldn't look into her eyes.. Because if I did she would know that I was looking more that I should.. I had to leave..

"Aiden.. I am going to the bathroom.. Be right back.."

"Spence.."

He didn't try to tell me anything else because I had wings on my feet.. I was flying away from her.. What I was thinking? I don't even know her.. Even if I could be with her I don't know if she is into that.. Wow.. where that come from? Stupid unconscious..

I didn't go to the bathroom.. I was behind a wall watching them. Aiden was right.. She looks kind, and warm and she laughs all the time.. She is gorgeous.. I saw her kissing him and then she left..

"Spencer? What are you doing here?"

"Jenna.. Ehm.. Nothing.. I was in the bathroom.. and ehm.. I felt a pain in my back and I was resting on the wall.."

"Are you sure you are fine? We could ask for a doctor to see you"

"NO.. It's fine Jenna. It's from the trip maybe.."

"If you are sure.."

"I am.."

Jenna was in my team.. We started together when we were five years old. When were younger we were friends. But as we grew older I wanted to be better and better and we grew apart.. She always tried to reconcile but I didn't want to.. But she was a good girl and a good athlete.. She stayed as a figure ice-skater and she was good. She did some mistakes but she was still the best..

I came out from my secret niche when I saw that Ashley wasn't there anymore.. I got behind Aiden and hugged him..

"Guess who?"

"Ehm.. must be the other girlfriend I have.. But I left her back home"

"You are stupid.."

"That's why you love me.."

"Yeah.. must be" I didn't tell Aiden I love you for a long time now. I always said 'me too' or 'yeah I know.' But I did love him but not the kind of love he had for me..

"It was Ashley"

"Who?"

"Ashley. She was the one who were calling me"

"Ah.. and what did she want?"

"Nothing particular.. She just saw me and wanted to say hi. Her room is on the same floor as ours" _just fuck me right here right now._

"Yeah? Pitchy"

"Why you don't like that girl? She is fine. I am sure if you would meet her you would change your mind"

"Can you please give me my card so I can go and have a shower?"

"Can I come with you watching you take that shower?" I came closer to him, I put my hands behind his back and let them find their place on his back pocket.. I left them there for a while.. He damped down I kissed him on his lips and..

"No. You are going to your room and watch yourself take a shower.. Thanks for the card.." I said showing him the card I had on my hands.. I can be tricky..

"You are.. Spencer Carlin.. You are a.."

I blew him a kiss and left him there thinking.. I am sure that he would think someone.. Me.. But I would think someone else..

Ashley Davies on the same floor with me.. Ok.. That would be.. what? Awesome? Incredible? Amazing? No.. That would be awkward.. If I stay inside my room maybe I'll be ok.. Yes.. that I will do..

I took my clothes from my suitcase and went to the bathroom to take a bath.. After hours on that plane I wanted to relax.. Not to think.. I was still on my towel when I heard a knock on my door.. Aiden.. he doesn't understand the word no..

"What do you want Aiden?" I opened the door and it wasn't Aiden.. No.. I was in an towel and Aiden wasn't at my door.. Try a brunette with killer brown eyes..

"I am sorry.. but.. I wanted to ask if.. I could borrow a shampoo?"

Just kill me now…

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**TBC**

**Cliffhanger?? Maybe.. So what is going to happen tomorrow when I am going to update again???**

**Reviews are always welcome**

**xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys.. Monday.. Hate Mondays.. Why couldn't we start working on Tuesday?? That would be easier.. Anyway.. Enough with my whining.. here is chapter 3**

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Chapter 3**

They say that if you don't want to face your fear then it comes and finds you anyway.. If you try to avoid the ineluctable you are lost at that moment.. You are lost if you think you can hide.. You can't hide.. Even from your shadow..

What happens when everything you thought for a long time now but tried to hide from knocks at your door and standing right there looking at you in your eyes and just asks.. _"I am sorry.. but.. I wanted to ask if.. I could borrow a shampoo_?_"_. I was lost..

You think you know what you are doing.. It's what your mind telling you to do..

"Ehm? Sorry?"

"Ehm.. I.. I.."

"There you are ladies" Aiden.. What is he doing here? And smiling? "Hey babe.. I see you met Ashley?" why is he so cheerful? What is happening? I think that I am really starting to lose it..

"Aiden? What do you want? What she wants at my door?"

"Spence.. Ashley stays at the same floor with us.. And her teammates weren't here.. She only knew me.."

"Ok.. And what you both doing here?"

"And she.."

"I forgot to take my shampoo and knocked Aiden's door.. You see I can't use what they have here.. I don't like them.." ok.. her voice is angelic.. It has that tinge.. watching her from the tv it's just not the same.. _Ok.. Spencer.. focus.._

"Still I don't get why you knocked my door" nice touch.. Even if she liked you, right now she could see that you are made of ice..

"You know I don't take mine babe.. I am always using yours.. And here we are"

"I see.." I leave them outside my door and going inside the bathroom.. I guess I can be nice for once.. "Here you are"

"Ehm.. thanks?"

"No problem.."

"Babe.. what if I stay with you for a while?"

"Aiden… no.. Alexei wants us to be to the stadium at 6."

"But.."

"Goodnight Aiden.. Goodnight Ashley"

"Goodnight Spencer.. I will return your shampoo tomorrow.. I know your room now.."

First.. I don't remember giving her my name.. And second.. she knows my room? Ok.. yes.. She was here a minute earlier.. When I closed the door I heard them talking to each other.. I heard Ashley first _"What is her problem?" "She is just nervous". _Nice touch Aiden.. Why am I being like this? What is going on with me? I know what is going.. It's just too much for me..

But she was beautiful.. I could look inside her brown eyes for hours.. She was even better in reality.. Aiden was right.. She seems like a good person.. I guess that is why everyone loves her.. She has that aura.. There are some people that when you meet them instantly you know you will be friends with them or even lovers.. But do I want to be friends with Ashley? And most important.. Could she be my lover? Could I be hers? Questions again and again and I don't know if I want to answer them even if I know the answer.. All I know is that I am attracted to her.. And I'll try to hide it.. That's what I am doing all these years.. I am hiding from everyone.. I am hiding from myself.. That's what I am good at. Besides ice skating..

I didn't sleep well that night.. I was still thinking.. Thinking of maybe's, thinking of perhaps, thinking of Ashley, thinking of her brown eyes that I could find myself drowning.. And for the first time in my life I didn't think of my goal..

I was up from 5 o'clock.. I wanted to be ready and as always to wake up Aiden.. This boy is so depended on me.. When I was ready to open my door and go and wake up Aiden I heard a light knock.. Who might be so early in the morning? Couldn't be Alexei and Aiden.. I don't think so..

"Hi" Ashley Davies was one more time in my door.. And she was gorgeous.. No.. I have to stop think of her like that..

"Hello.."

"Did I wake you up?"

"Actually no.. I was ready to go and wake up Aiden"

"Boys.. They love their sleep"

"I guess.. So to what I owe your visit?"

"Ehm.. I told you yesterday that I would bring your shampoo back"

"You didn't have to. You could give it to me later"

"I wanted to. I can't have other's things."

"Well thank you"

"Well.. thank you.. My hair thank you too.. I couldn't wash my beautiful hair with hotel products.. Ewww" I wanted to laugh. She was funny.. That is why everyone love her.. That's why I..

"Tell them I say welcome then.."

"I will"

"Excuse me but I have to leave."

"Yes, sorry.. Of course" for a moment I debated with myself if I had the guts to ask her to come with us. It was a practice after all.. Tomorrow would be the opening ceremony and then we could wait for our turn to come..

"Ehm.. if you don't have anything else to do.. you could come with us.. It's a practice and just to feel the ice.. Nothing serious.." I saw her smiling and when she did I saw that her eyes matched that smile too..

"Sure.. I am awake don't I?"

"Ok"

"Ok"

Ashley Davies would come with us watching our program.. Ashley Davies would be there watching me.. I didn't expect I would ask her.. But she did something to me.. All this was surreal.. And I think I couldn't hide anymore behind my mask.. I wanted to know her..

We finished our practice and met the others from the American team.. There were other teams as well and Alexei for the first time was relaxed. I guess he got laid? Oh, my God.. I so don't want to think he did.. Eww..

Ashley was sitting on the gradines with other people too. I guess they were athletes too and wanted to see their friends.. When we came out from the stadium Ashley was in awe..

"I can't believe you are doing all this stuff walking on a knife"

"It's easy. It's nothing really" Aiden said having his hands behind my back..

"Are you kidding? How on earth you stand on that knife? And not only you stand but you dance too? Wow"

"Ashley.. it's not that difficult"

"Yeah, whatever"

"I could show you someday.. If you want?" ok.. did that come out from me? Did I just say to Ashley if she wants to skate with me? Nah.. Oh, my God.. Yes, I did..

"Ehm.. are you sure?"

"Yes, it is fine. It is not a problem" Aiden watched me and he had this expression that said 'ok.. what is going on?'. It was the first time I was being polite and friendly to another being. And Aiden was still surprised because all this long I was against Ashley and what she did.. Guess a person can change?

"Ok.. But if you show me then I show you too.. You will come with me and we go snowboard"

"Wow.. Hey.. I don't think I can do that"

"Hey.. if I stand on that knife you can snowboard. Ok?"

Why I can't resist her? That's why I was avoiding her. That's why I was a sarcastic bitch. That's why I wanted to hide.. Because now I can't say no to her and I am starting to lose control of myself..

"Ok.. Deal.."

"Time and place"

"Well we finished for the day.. And we are free.. What about you?"

"We are always free.. Snowboard it's not a sport that need practice so much.. I see my sport as a hobby. So I am free"

"I think that we can use the ice rink for an hour. So are you ready now?"

"Well I didn't expect it to be that quick.. I wanted to prepare myself mentally"

"I promise you will be fine"

"ok, then. I trust you"

"Aiden?"

"Well I was thinking of going to my room and sleep for a while.. I never used to that morning practices"

"Are you sure?"

"yes, babe. Go skate with Ashley. See you later" he kissed me and then they were two..

"Are you ready?"

"No, but let's go"

Do you ever feel a deep connection when you meet someone? A feeling that says you will like that person. A feeling that says go for it and don't be afraid? When I saw Ashley on that video I knew I was a goner. But being here with her it is something else.. The walls I had always protecting me I feel them starting to fall.. I can't hide anymore.. but even if wanted to now it is impossible.. Now it is just different..

"What number are you wearing?"

"I am a 7"

"Me too. Here.. You can have my practice skates"

"What about you?"

"I have my good skates with me. I only use them in contests"

"Are you sure?"

"Definitely"

"Spencer? I don't feel them ok in my feet. They feel strange"

"You never did ice skating?"

"Not once"

"There is always a first time for everything"

"I guess.." she said looking at me straight in my eyes.. They say that eyes are like the mirror of our soul. And right now I can see that Ashley's eyes want to say something but I am not sure what..

"Ok.. Now stand and follow me"

"Easy for you to say"

"Here take my hand" when she did I felt like electric touching my skin. What am I doing?

"Spencer.. I am afraid.. You make it seem easy but it's not"

"I will be there holding you. Ok? Step by step"

"Don't leave me ok?"

"Ok"

She was truly amazing.. This gold star champion was afraid of skating.. And she was cute.. I couldn't resist her.. I was holding her hands, trying to protect her from falling..

"Just think that you drag your feet.. Balance your body and put your good foot in front and then the other.."

"I can't.."

"You rule the slopes and you can't skate? I don't accept it"

"Snowboard is easier"

"It's what you think. What will you say when you will be the one to teach me?"

"Snowboard is easier"

I left her hands so she could follow me.. It was like I was seeing a baby trying to walk for the first time.. She was cute.. She did some steps forward and I was near her in case she fell.. She was doing well when she lost her balance and I tried to catch her before she falls on ice.. But when I did we both lost our balance and now she was on me and I was beneath her.. Awkward much? I could sense her breath, I could sense her body on me.. And I could see her eyes looking at mine.. It was awkward before Ashley tried to stand up but then she fell again..

"Here.. Let me help you"

"I am sorry.. I guess ice skating it's not my thing" I remember that was what Aiden told me when we were on that plane.. It sure wasn't her thing..

"You tried though.. You have to try some things so you know you don't like them"

"Ehm.. yeah.. So.. thanks Spencer.. It was fun.."

"Nothing."

"Now it is my turn to show you my sport.."

"Ok.. But how? I don't think that they will allow us to go there before the Olympics"

"I have connections.. Don't be afraid.. And we won't go to there.. Do you trust me?"

"What if I don't?"

"Then it's your loss"

"Ok."

"Ok.. give me your number"

"What?"

"Your number so if I can't find you in your room I can call you?"

"Oh, yes.."

"Ok.. I put my number inside your phone and now I have your number as well.."

"So when we will go snowboarding?"

"I'll call you.. Thanks for teaching me.."

We said our hello's and I had a huge smile on my face.. One that I didn't want for Aiden to see and one that I was sure Ashley Davies put that on me.. I watched her till she got inside her room and before she walk in she looked at me and waved.. Can I say now that I am falling for Ashley Davies?

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**TBC**

**Sorry guys if it wasn't that ok but I didn't feel well.. Hopefully another update tomorrow..**

**Reviews are always welcome..**

**xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Snowboard lesson for today…**

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**Chapter 4**

Everything is so confused.. I am so confused.. I see myself on the mirror and I can't recognize me.. I see a different Spencer.. A Spencer I didn't know that existed. A Spencer I thought she was hidden somewhere inside me.. But now I see myself and I just look at the real me. Is it possible to change in just a day? Is it possible a person to change you? If that person was Ashley Davies maybe it is.

I still couldn't believe that I asked Ashley if she wanted to come for ice skating with me. And she accepted.. I so wanted that.. And Aiden made it easy for me.. He is nice but my heart right now is stronger than my mind. My mind screams inside my head to be with Aiden. Not even think to go there with Ashley. But my heart sees her and just bits. Bits even harder that I thought she would. And right now I am just following her beats..

I was so deep in my thoughts again; seem to do that often these days, that I didn't hear my phone beeping. I was searching my bag to find it and when I saw who was calling I had this huge smile on my face.. You guessed correct.. It was Ashley..

"Hello?"

"Spencer?"

"You called my phone so I suppose it is me"

"Of course.. I knew that"

"Are you ok?"

"Fine.. Are you ready?"

"For what?"

"We are leaving"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. We are leaving. In five minutes I will be there knocking at your door. Be ready"

"Ashley? Ashley?"

Fuck. What was that? What she meant by leaving? What she meant if I was ready? Why I am always asking??? And oh my god.. Does five minutes came already??

"Are you ready?"

"Ashley what do you mean?"

"We are going for snowboard. It's my turn now"

"But.."

"Do you have anything else to do?"

"Well.."

"Ok.. Lets go.."

"Where are we going?"

"You will see"

Ok.. I am leaving my hotel room, with Ashley, to an unknown place. All I know is that I am going to snowboard with Ashley.. Do I need anything else??

"Hey girls.. Are you ready for the big escape?"

"hey dude.. Yes, we are. Aren't we Spencer?"

"I suppose. Where are we going?"

"We are going.."

"You will see.. Now come inside.."

"Should I be afraid?"

"Do you trust me?" _with my heart.._

"yes"

"Steve.. Go"

We were on a jip. Steve was.. who was Steve actually?

"Spencer? This is Steve. He is a friend and a teammate."

"Nice to meet you Spencer.. Ashley told.."

"Shut up"

"What did I do?" I saw them talking with their eyes. But what was really happening with those two?

"Nice to meet you too Steve. So you like snowboard eh?"

"Very. It's so relaxing.. We love it. Don't we Ash?"

I could see how friendly they were. The one teasing the other. The looks. Ok.. I was feeling jealous and that is crazy. I can't be jealous for someone I know for a day and is a girl. No. It can't be..

"So you are good friends?"

"The best. Ashley can't take her hands off me"

"You are an ass. Just so you know.."

"Yes.. but I am your ass.. You know you love me.."

"Yeah yeah.. Continue being like this and maybe I will find someone else to love"

"I think you found that someone.."

"I said just shut up.."

"ok ok.."

I saw the two of them interacting.. They seemed like they were together or been together.. And why I keep having this feeling inside?

"So.. where are we going? I see that we are way out from the Olympic village.."

"We are. We are going to a place Ashley and I like to go when we are coming here. It's not too far.."

"Is it ok for us to leave?"

"Who is going to find out? Will you tell Spencer?" in that moment I remembered that I didn't call Aiden to tell him where I was. But I didn't know either. Should I call him or send him a message? What if I don't do any of those? I will just enjoy snowboard with Ashley..

"If you won't then I don't.."

"Deal. Now enjoy the view."

Oh believe me.. I am already enjoying my view. And my view is just breathtaking.. _Focus.. Spencer focus.._

"We are here girls.."

"Ok. Where did you know where to find this place?"

"Well we come here often.. you see Steve is from Canada.. Well his mom is.. So we are coming here when we want to see his family.. Cousins, grandpas, grandmas.. You know"

"I see. So you are close you too?" I didn't want to seem like I was interrogated them but I could sense that there was something between them. Something that I didn't like..

"Like peas in a pod" they both said looking each other. Ok.. It's official. They are together and I can't have Ashley.. _Would you ever?_

"Right"

"Come on Spencer. Here. Ashley told me you wear the same number. I made a board for you. So you are right or left?"

"Excuse me?"

"Right foot front or left?"

"Ehm.. I don't know"

"Well it is easy.. Which foot you put front?"

"Right."

"ok.. Then.."

"I don't understand"

"Well when you put your feet on the bindings either you will go right or left.. Rookies always go right" Ashley said while she was helping me with my boots. They were heavy and I didn't feel them alright.. They were.. they were…

"I know you don't feel them ok. It is different from your sport and from the shoes you use." Ok.. it is the second time she answers to what I am thinking.. How she does this? How she makes that all that easy?

"Ashley.. are you sure? What if I..?"

"You won't. We will start from the basics. Nothing to hard like go down the slope. I don't want to break you.."

"Please.. don't leave me ok?"

"You are cute.. You are dancing, flying and sliding in a knife and you are afraid of a board?"

"Ice skating is easier"

"keep telling yourself that.. ok.. are you ready?"

"No"

"Give me your hands. I would show you how we stand but as you are a rookie I will help you instead.."

"Awww.. thank you so much Miss ice skating it's not my thing.. Don't leave my hands"

"Never"

"Where is Steve?"

"Up there" she showed me where he was and he was really at the most higher place.."

Ashley held my hands and never left them.. I didn't want to leave them either.. I felt safe in her hands. But it was a different safety of Aiden's. It was two different things.. Like mind and heart..

"Ok now turn to my side.. Well done Spencer.."

"Don't leave me"

"I won't. Don't be afraid.. I am here aren't I?"

"Yes, you are." I said and I just let myself look at her full beauty.. It was safe to tell that I was falling for her and I know her one day.. _No.. you were falling for her for three years now.._

"Ok.. I am leaving your hands now so you can drive your board alone. Ok?"

"No, Ashley. Please.. What if I fall down?"

"I'll be there to pick you up.."

"Ok"

Ashley removed my boots from the bindings and took me a little higher so I could do what she told me too.. I was afraid.. Now I can see that her sport is difficult as it is mine.. But she makes it seem so easy..

"Ok.. when I tell you, get up and leave your body do the job. Do the right turns I showed you and you stop when bring your board horizontal. Ok? I will be there waiting for you"

"Ok"

She helped me putting my boots again and she left me to go down and wait for me as she did.

"Ok, Spencer. You can do it."

I stood up as she taught me to and then my body did the job.. I was doing good and I had speed.. That wasn't good, that wasn't good at all.. How she told me to stop? How she…

"SPENCER"

"ASHLEY"

I fell on Ashley with my board. Oh, my God..

"Oh, my god.. Ashley? Are you fine? Can you hear me? Ashley? ASH?"

"Hey.. Good.. you stopped.."

"Are you hurt? Did I hurt you? Are you ok?"

"I will be fine.. Just my head.."

"Let me see.. stupid stupid board.. I can't take them off"

"Relax Spence.. I am ok.." she called me Spence? It sounds much better when she calls me that.. Aiden's is just different..

"Let me see your head.. Are you hurt here?"

"Aouts.. that hurt"

"Ok.. we are going to a hospital"

"I am fine.. It's just a bump. Don't go crazy on me now"

"Ash.." I paused.. I didn't expect to call her that aagin.. But I didn't expect for her to shorten my name as well..

"yees?"

"Please.. can we go to a hospital so they can check it? What if I caused you a trauma?"

"Really.. I am fine.. See?" she got up for me to see that she was ok.. I looked at her eyes to see if she was hiding her pain from me.. Her eyes were so beautiful.. "Do you believe me now?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes.. One hundred per cent. Are you fine?"

"Yes. You stopped my fall."

"Then I am glad I was there to stop it for you"

We were looking each other for a moment and then we heard Steve calling our names..

"Hey ya girls. I saw you knocked each other down. Spencer, are you alright?"

"Yes. Ashley's head though.."

"She is hard headed.. She will be fine"

"You are an asshole"

"Yeah yeah.. whatever"

"No I mean it. You are an asshole"

"And you love me. You can't exist without me. You are.."

Ashley hit him on his head and all I could was laugh with these two. They were funny and I don't know when was the last time I had a great time.. And for the second time I forgot my goal.. All I could think of was Ashley.. She was in my mind all the time.. Even before I know her.. Even before we fall to each other arms two times..

I was looking at them fooling around and putting the boards inside Steve's car.. It was then I sensed something beeping inside my pocket.. I took my phone out to see who it was and it was Aiden..

"Aiden?"

"Spencer? Where are you? I called you three times and I knocked at your door but you weren't there. Where the fuck are you?"

"Snowboarding with Ashley" it's nothing wrong to tell the truth.. I didn't do something that I should be ashamed off. Well other than that I am falling for Ashley..

"Have you lost your mind?"

"Excuse me?"

"Spencer.. You are bagging me with all this and you are out snowboarding with some girl you don't even like?"

"She is nice Aiden. I made a mistake. You were there when she told me she would teach me. And she did"

"Do you know what would happen if you broke anything? We would be out of contest"

"But I am fine"

"Ok. Whatever Spence. Really I can't understand you sometimes"

"Aiden I have to go. We are leaving now"

"When you return come find me. Tell your boyfriend that you are the fuck back"

"bye Aiden"

Oh, my God.. Why he was such an ass? It is definitely another side of him and I don't like it.. What is it that they say? Don't mix pleasure with business? I won't think of Aiden now. All I will think is Ashley and the great afternoon we had.. I will think of Aiden when I will be outside his door.. But Ashley will be in my mind..

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**TBC**

**Hope you liked it.. Sorry but I did snowboard once and ice skating, well I I can skate without holding the rail.. I am not an expert to these sports but they are my favorite!**

**Reviews are always welcome**

**xx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys.. Sorry I couldn't upload yesterday but it was beyond my powers.. I'll try my best to update every day but if I won't know that I will the day after.. Thank you again for all your wonderful reviews.. Here is the next chapter..**

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**Chapter 5**

Did you ever hear about the butterfly effect? The metaphor that encapsulates the concept of sensitive dependence on initial conditions in chaos theory? Is it wrong for me to compare Aiden, Ashley and me as a butterfly effect? Because from my point of view this is what it seems.. Doing something that I really liked and I didn't expect something else to take a drastic movement..

Aiden is the sweetest boy a girl could dream.. I keep telling that to myself.. If you try and persuade your subconscious then everything is easier.. While we drive back to the Olympic village, back to Aiden, all I think is her.. I sit behind Steve and I just look at her from behind.. She always has this smile when she looks at Steve and I catch myself jealous over someone that I just met.. This is not how I thought my second Olympics would start.. I didn't expect to talk to Ashley Davies, I didn't expect to teach her my favorite sport or for her to teach me hers.. I didn't expect to find myself drown to her and for sure I didn't expect to start falling for her and I didn't even know if she was like that.. I just feel a great power moving me to her.. I just..

"Spencer? Are you ok back there?"

"Hm..?"

"Where were you? I said if you are ok back there.. I know Steve is a lame driver.."

"NO, I AM NOT"

"Yes, you are.. You are very lucky I don't drive jip.. Not my thing.."

I see them talking to each other, teasing each other and I keep thinking what's the story between them.. Are they together? Were they together? And if they are or were how I can find it out?

"Spencer? Spence? SPENCE?"

"Hey, yes. Sorry.. I am ok.. Steve you are a great driver.. Don't listen to her"

"Did you hear miss 'I am the best in everything'?"

"Yes, I did. And I am the best.. She just doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Isn't that Spence?"

"Well.. No, he really is a great driver"

"Ha, ha.. in your face missy"

"Yeah, ok.. Whatever.. I thought Spencer that you and I were a team. You know.. girl power?"

"I can't lie.. Sorry" I can't? Sure I can.. That's what I do for three years and that's what I do right now..

"Ok.. You are forgiven…"

"Thank you miss 'I am the best in everything'". I said and Steve laughed really hard and Ashley did the same only she did hit him several times..

"I like her Ash.. You have a great…" Ashley hit him again.. I guess this is their ritual? He says something and she hit him back. They did it a lot since we got together..

"How many times do I have to hit you for you to understand? Maybe I will have to start to hit your head instead of your arms.."

"What did I say this time?" From the back seat I saw Ashley looking at Steve like she was telling him something with her eyes.. Those beautiful chocolate brown eyes of hers.. I am starting to be very curious about these two.. Maybe I can ask Ashley sometime..

"So, Spence? Did you call Aiden?"

"Actually no. He called me and he was really worried I didn't tell him where I was"

"You should though. He is your boyfriend and your partner on ice. I am sure he was worried" why she does that to me? Why did she have to mention Aiden and him being my boyfriend? Why she is so.. so.. charming and I can't take my mind off her?

"I will pass from his room when we will arrive. Don't worry"

"Ah, I see" in a moment Ashley's face was unreadable. Her voice seemed hurt. It was like you took a child's ice cream from his hand.

"Thank you for today. I had fun. I hadn't for a long time now. So thank you"

"You are welcome. I want to thank you too. You know.. for teaching me to skate on a knife.. Maybe we can go sometime aagin? What do you think?"

"Are you sure you can take it?"

"Honey.. I am the queen of the slopes.. Ok?"

"Ok, queen.. Whatever you say.. I really love to go with you for another lesson.."

How I really loved to be on ice again with Ashley.. And maybe I could catch her again if she fall..

We drove the one hour drive from where we were to where we should be. Where I had to face Aiden and my butterfly effect.. I wish this day never came to its end..

"We are here my ladies. It was fun driving you back. Ash.. see you later ok? Bye Spencer.. Nice meeting you at last.." Ashley's jaw dropped and before he could hit him again Steve was out of her reach and had a big smile on his face.. _At last?_ What did he mean by that?

"Ehm.. we are here.. I had fun today.. Talk to you later. Ok? Bye Spence.." I didn't have the chance to talk to her, to say her I had fun too and I was hoping to see her soon. She was out of my reach as Steve was a moment ago.. That girl is really something..

I was walking back to Aiden's room still thinking what Steve said.. What did he really mean by at last? I guess I will have to ask him.. Better I could ask Ashley.. Later.. tonight.. but first..

"Welcome back. I see you are one piece"

"Aiden.. what's the matter with you?"

"The matter with me Spence it's that I didn't know where you were. I tried to find you but I couldn't reach you."

"Sorry.. but when you became my father and I didn't know that? Because last time I remember I really had a father.."

"Don't make fun of me.."

"Oh, believe me I don't. You were there when Ashley told me to take me for snowboard. Or your mind where somewhere else?"

"I was there. I didn't expect you would go today. I thought some time yes. But in the middle of the Olympics? Have you lost your mind? Snowboard is not that easy. What if you break something? Eh? Didn't you think any of that?"

"Well, Ashley would never let me hurt myself. She is a great teacher."

"Spence? I am glad you were together and I am sure she is great. I met her. Remember? But what if our goal would be lost? Sorry if I was an ass. I just was worried. Nothing else. But you are sure you are ok?"

"I'm ok. And please. Don't you ever think of yelling at me. Ever again."

"I'm so sorry. Sorry babe. Ok? Are we ok?"

He was coming closer and closer and I knew where this was going. He was kissing my neck while caressing my back.. I had my eyes closed feeling his lips on me and all I could think of was her.. Ashley.. I was thinking of her putting her hands inside my shirt, kissing me and whispering words I couldn't understand.. I wanted.. I wanted her so much.. I felt her hands cupping my breasts and I found myself topless on the bed.. My eyes were still closed and it was then that I was out of my dream because that voice wasn't hers.. Wasn't Ashley's..

"I love you babe. I so love your body Spence" I opened my eyes and he was without his t-shirt and his jeans were already open.. I couldn't do that.. I just.. couldn't.. I had to leave.. I know that this is wrong but I can't have sex with him while fantasizing Ashley.. Everything is so wrong.. In so many ways..

"I'm sorry Aiden.. I can't do this. Not now.. We can't.." I stood up and put my clothes on. He was there watching me, trying to understand but if I didn't understand what was happening how was he?

"What? Spence, babe, you were there with me. You were enjoying this as I did. What are you doing? Come on Spence"

"No. Aiden.. While we are here we will not do anything. I just let myself. That is not going to happen.. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye" I couldn't leave without kissing him. After all he was my boyfriend..

I left his room and got to mine. What just happened in there? Ashley.. that was what happened..

I was ready to take a shower, sleep and think of Ashley.. think of our great day and wishing for better ones to come. I really want to talk to her. I really want to know her.. She just did something to me.. Is it that easy to fall with someone just by looking at her?

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on my door. I really wish it's not Aiden.. I don't want to see him right now..

"Who that is?"

"It's Ashley. Can I come in?" oh, my God. What does she want at this hour..

"Hey"

"Hey. Can I come in?"

"Of course. Is everything ok?"

"Yeah.. ok.. everything."

We were sitting on my bed. She was wearing her short shorts and a wife bitter. Ok.. I find her outfit so sexy.. She is so sexy.. Ok.. Spencer mind off the gutter.. now..

"Did I wake you up?"

"Not really. I just finished my shower. I was ready to go to sleep.."

"Oh, sorry. Then I should go.."

"No. Really it's ok. Stay.. I don't mind"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. How is your head? Still hurt?"

"Nah.. just a little but I am fine"

"Sorry for that.."

"It's not your fault. Next time you will be better"

"So is there a next time?"

"Of course it is.."

"I am in then.."

"Perfect"

"Yeah, perfect" I said and I looked at her. My definition of perfect was in front of me.. looking at me, talking with me..

"So.. Aiden and you.. are ok?"

"Ehm.. yes.. He was just worried for me not to break something"

"He just cares for you"

"Sometimes he cares a lot and that pisses me off."

"Don't you like that? Someone caring for you?" _oh, I do.. I want you to care for me.._

"I like it but sometimes he is just pushing me and pressuring me. And I don't like that.."

"I know what you mean.."

"Ehm.. can I ask you something? If you don't want to tell me it's ok.."

"Please… ask whatever"

"I see how Steve and you are with each other.. Ehm.. are you two.. together?" _say no. say no. say no.._

"Steve and I? Me and Steve? Well.."

"I see. You are lucky. He is a nice guy.."

"I said well.. Steve and I are not together. We were though. Now he is just the best friend and I see him as the big brother I never had.." _happy dance, happy dance, happy dance.._

"Nice. You seem really close and everything."

"Yes, we are. Steve was there for me when I needed friends the most."

"That's good to know"

"What about the mysterious Spencer Carlin? Do you have someone special you could call a friend?"

"Haven't you heard what they call me? Have you seen anyone but you talking with me?"

"Spencer.. I didn't.."

"That's ok. It doesn't matter. I don't care that much either."

"Spence.. It's not that bad to have friends you know.. And I believe that you are not what they call you.."

"So you heard?"

"If you want to believe that you are what they think you are it's your choice. For me you are just Spencer. A great ice skate athlete who is going to win the gold this year.."

"Thank you.. For being here.." I tried to hold my tears because all I wanted to do now was to cry and I didn't want for her to see me cry.. I didn't want to see me broken..

"I want you to know that even if I met you just today I feel like I know you longer than that. If you want to talk I will be here.." she had her hands cupping mine and they were so soft. So warm. She felt so right.. Her and me..

"Ashley?"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you something else?"

"Of course. Anything"

"What did Steve meant when we were there. _Nice meeting you at last?"_ I saw her contemplating with her answer.. She blushed and now her hands were off me.. I already missed their warmth.. "Sorry.. if you don't want to answer it's ok.. Sorry for asking.."

"No.. it's not that.."

"It's ok. Really" I tried to get up because all this conversation had me off truck. I wanted to know. I wanted for her to tell me. But I would never pressure her to do..

"Spence.. please.. stay.."

"ok."

"Well.. I have a little confession to make.."

"Ok.. Ashley you can tell me. But if you don't.."

"No.. I want to.. You see Steve knows everything about me. Obviously.. My confession is that maybe I am not that good in ice skating but I love this sport. Is one of my favorite actually.." Aiden said that it wasn't her thing.. Now she tells me it's her favorite?

"Aiden said.. that it wasn't your thing.."

"And it wasn't.. It's just became my thing 5 years ago.. When I saw a girl skate like she was flying on the ice.. Then I saw myself loving this sport.."

"Who that was that made you fall for my sport? I know everyone. She must really good then"

"Well.. she is very good. She even got to the Olympics but unfortunately it wasn't her time then.. But she is back to win this year" ok she has me here, curious about who that girl is that it isn't me..

"ok.."

"And from then on I watched that girl competing and I admired her very much for what she did.. And she is still amazing you know.." she said looking inside my eyes..

"And who that girl is?"

"It is you.."

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**TBC**

**Well.. I hope it was ok.. Sorry again that I couldn't upload yesterday.. Hopefully I have another update tomorrow..**

**Reviews are always welcome..**

**xx**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys.. I update now because I don't know if I can through the day because I have a lot of things to do but I don't want for you to wait.. So here is the new chapter..**

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**Chapter 6**

Dreams are coming to you without notice.. You just close your eyes and for just a moment you walk to your dream world. There you can be whoever you want, you can have whatever you crave or you can have the one you want..

Four years now I leave in my dream world. The world that has Ashley inside.. I tried not to think of her, I tried not to dream about her. But that was just difficult.. How could I? When all I ever dreamed off sit beside me, confessing what I wanted to do as well.. Although I want to speak, the words just don't come out from my mouth.. What can I say to her? I watched you too? I love your sport because of you? I am falling for you?

It is me. It was me. Ashley knew about me. I keep thinking it and I feel I am starting to smile because Ashley smiles too.. And I so love her smile.. It lightening her face..

"It is you Spence."

"It.. was.. me?" she looked at me like she was surprised I didn't know.. But how could I?

"Of course it was you.. When I saw you the first time you were competing with other athletes through the states.. I believe it was your first time as a pair ice skate athlete.. I just couldn't take my eyes off you.. You were amazing.. It was like you were flying and you were.."

"I was.. what?"

"I don't know if it is appropriate.."

"Ash.. it's me.. I fell on you two times.. Well the first time you fell on me but it doesn't matter.. What I was?"

"You were the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.. You made me see this sport from another point of view.." ok, now she made me blush.. And I never blush.. But I was the most beautiful girl she ever has seen? She was the most beautiful girl I have ever seen..

"Well.. thank you.." nice.. Spencer.. She tells you you are beautiful and you say thank you?

"You are welcome.." she didn't have her eyes on me any more.. She tried to look anywhere but me.. But if she confessed to me I needed to tell her my confession too..

"Ash.. I have a little confession too.."

"Hm..?" she still couldn't look at me and I wanted for her to look at me while I am telling her that…

"Please.. could you please look at me?" now I had her back.. I think that she feels that what she said affected me in the wrong way.. How wrong she is though.. Because now I feel there is something more she doesn't tell me..

"My confession is that I don't know anything from snowboard as you noticed.. Actually I don't watch anything that has nothing to do with my sport. I just don't care from anything else.. Four years ago returning from the Olympics all I could hear was that a girl took the gold and that she was amazing.. Even Aiden was so thrilled. Everyone talked about her.. But I just didn't care.. It was one day that I decided to search for her.. To see who that girl was.. And when I saw her doing what she knew best I was just amazed as they were.. She was flying, literally.. She was perfect in any way.. But what made me watch her sport over and over again was her.. She made her sport addicted for me.. And I only watched it for her.. Just to see her.. And she was the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.. And that girl is sitting next to me right now.. And I am so happy for that.."

Ashley looked at me surprised. She didn't interrupt me as I did with her.. Her eyes were unreadable as was herself.. We were there sitting next to each other, looking each other.. We both just laid out our confessions and maybe some more.. I knew how I felt about her but I still didn't know how she felt about me.. Was she thinking of me like I did? Did she want to touch me as much as I wanted to touch her? Did she want to taste my lips as I wanted to taste hers?

"Spence..?"

"Yes?" I think I moaned that yes because of my thoughts I had for her..

"I need to tell you something else but I don't know how you will take it.."

"You can tell me anything.. And I mean anything.." _I hope you tell me you like me.._

"You know I was with Steve.. I told you before.. Well you don't know why I broke up with him though.."

"You don't need to tell me.. It's ok.."

"No, I want to.. I want you to know.. I feel like I can tell you everything.."

"Me too.."

"I know Steve for years.. We were friends since kinden garden.. We did everything together, we love the same sport and we started it as a hobby. It is still a hobby for us.. We just love snowboard. The 2006 Olympics found us a pair. We thought that it would be ok for us to be together.. What best of being with your best friend and having him as your boyfriend? But it was strange.. We just didn't fit as a couple.. We were best friends but not great together.. We just didn't feel it.. And my mind was already occupied with someone else and it was hard for me to confess that to myself.."

"So you broke it off with Steve?"

"Yes, I told him that we didn't fit with each other and I.."

"It's ok Ash.."

"No, I need to continue so then you can chose if you want to be friends with me or not.. You see another reason I broke it off was that.. Ok.." she took a big breath and continue "ilikedgirls"

"Sorry? I didn't hear you.. What did you say?"

"You are not making easy.. I said that I broke it with Steve because I liked girls"

Ok, I didn't expect that. I didn't expect that at all.. Did I like it? Of course yes. I was doing my happy ice dance inside.. But what that meant for us? Did she feel what I feel?

"Ok"

"ok what?"

"Ok. Did you think that I would have a problem with you if you liked girls?"

"Ehm, yes.. You don't know me and I thought that your reaction would be much different.."

"Did you think that I would freak out and throw you out of my room?"

"Yes?"

"Well I don't.. And I will not do that.. You see.. I like you.." _in more than one ways.. Wish you knew.._

"Good.. Because I like you too.. So you don't have a problem?"

"Nope.."

She came closer to me and gave the warmest hug I ever had.. I could smell her shampoo which was mine.. I could feel her breathe on my neck and I felt tickling in many places.. I had my hands on her back and holding her the same.. I didn't want to let her from my sight.. I wanted to hold her.. To stay here with her.. Only us.. Ashley and me..

I wanted to kiss her so much.. What if I let myself do what I wanted the most? What if I just lean to her and.. kiss her..

And that I did.. I kissed her neck and I saw her shiver under my kiss.. I swear I think I hear her moan.. Before I understand what I did.. I felt her lips on me.. She was doing what I did to her a moment ago.. And I so liked it.. We were there kissing each other and I was starting to feel aroused.. Her hands were travelling my body and I could faint to every touch of her.. It was sensual, erotic what we did.. It wasn't rush.. But I wanted more from her.. I just.. wanted to taste her, to feel how she feels..

I moved from her neck, to her back of her ear kissing and tasting her with my tongue.. I couldn't believe what I was doing.. I couldn't believe that I would have Ashley in that way.. She let me continue what I did and I could hear her saying words of pleasure that turned me on even more..

While kissing her I let my lips follow another path.. The path to her lips.. Those luscious lips that I craved for so long.. She had her eyes close.. Her lips were heavenly.. Wet and moistured, soft.. She was my definition of perfect.. And she was kissing me back.. Ashley Davies, my dream, kissing me back.. Her tongue on my bottom lip asking for entrance.. She had it.. She had me.. She didn't even have ask.. Our tongues met to a play of sensation.. We kissed and kissed till we both needed a moment to breathe.. I wanted more of her.. And I didn't want to stop..

She was looking at me and I believe I had the same expression on my face.. The expression that said I want you so much but what we did just right now.. What I initiated.. And what she let initiate..

"Spence.."

"Ash.."

"I wanted to do that since the first time I saw you.. Five years ago.. You were the reason I broke it off with Steve"

"Ash.."

"It doesn't matter.. Don't need to say anything.. I just wanted to kiss you and tell you everything.."

"Ash.."

"It's ok.."

"Will you just shut the fuck up?" I said laughing. She looked at me amazed by me reaction.. "I wanted to do that since the first time I saw you four years ago.. But I didn't know what that feeling was.. All I could think was you and the only way to see you was to see you doing your favorite sport.. So it does matter because I feel more for you than you think.."

"But.. what that means?"

"It means that we both feel the same way.."

"But you are with Aiden.."

"I know.. and I know it is crazy because I met you yesterday but you were on my mind for so long now.."

"It is crazy.. But it is a good crazy.. And does this mean that you like girls?"

"I like a girl.. Not girls.. I like you.."

"I am ok with that.. But what does this mean with us?"

"I believe I showed you like 10 minutes before what that mean but if you want I can show you again.."

I pushed her back to my bed and I continued from where I left.. Her, wearing short shorts and her torso almost exposed to me.. oh, my God.. I had Ashley Davies on my bed and I wanted to do more with her than kiss her..

We were on our world, lost to each other that we didn't hear the door knocked.. I thought I heard something at first but my mind and my senses were already occupied with Ashley.. That was when we both separated from each other because the knock was even harder than before..

She looked at me and I just shrugged.. But seeing what hour was I am sure it was Aiden.. What did he want again? We whispered to each other in case Aiden could hear us..

"I think it is Aiden.."

"Do you think that we should let him in? It is your boyfriend"

"Right now I don't care"

"Spence.. he keeps knocking.."

"Let him knock.. If he tells me anything I will say that I was asleep.."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes.. Now where we were?"

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**TBC**

**Sorry it is shorter than the other chapters.. You can do your happy dance now.. I have them together.. But know that I am a drama queen.. Drama is coming but not yet.. Hope you liked it..**

**Reviews are always welcome..**

**xx**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys.. So today I have to go to a wedding, which I don't really like.. So I couldn't let you hanging there.. I made a promise.. So enjoy the new chapter..**

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**Chapter 7**

All I ever wanted.. All I ever wanted was her.. Ashley.. I could never imagine that I would finally meet her.. I could never imagine that I would kiss her and the most important she would kiss me back.. And how she feels.. I wouldn't imagine having these feelings.. But I can't think right now if it is wrong or right.. Because for me it is right.. Not for Aiden though.. I don't know what I will do with him..

Ashley and I continued our kisses make out.. We didn't go any further.. I guess it was too much for both of us.. And from crying out loud. I only knew her a day.. Although I would love to be with her..

After meeting this girl I start to lose myself.. If you would ask me a day before I would say that I came here to be the first.. She made me lose my focus.. She made me want her.. In more than one ways.. But if I like Ashley that way, am I gay?

Questions and more questions.. I have to stop asking questions.. Questions are not good.. What is good is that Ashley is here with me, sleeping on the same bed with me.. And she is the most beautiful girl I ever met.. I feel strange about her.. From the one hand she is all I think and want and from the other hand there these questions I am afraid to answer..

Today is the open ceremony.. At last.. I really want for the Olympics to start.. I so want to go to that ice and know that Ashley is watching.. I will do my best for her..

I hear a knock at my door and I see that the clock shows 9am.. Oh, my God.. I was so lost in Ashley.. Ashley.. She is on my bed and someone is at my door.. Fuck fuck fuck..

"Ash? Ash.. please wake up.." I so didn't want to upset her sleep.. She is so cute..

"Hm.. no.."

"Ash.. please baby.. wake up.."

"Hm.. good morning to you too.." she opened her beautiful brown eyes looking at mine and tried to kiss me.. I so wanted to kiss her back but..

"Hey.. Ash.. someone is at my door.. You have to hide.." I saw the surprise look immediately on her face.. But I didn't know what to do.. Whoever that was he couldn't find Ashley here..

"Why?"

"Because.. Please.. Can you please go to the bathroom and stay there till I tell you to come out? Please.."

"Ok.."

She got up but it wasn't willing.. I didn't have to know that she was mad with the situation.. I could see her.. Before she opens the door to get inside the bathroom she gave me one last look and got in.. I from the other hand had to open mine..

"Hey babe.. why you didn't open your door?" Aiden said, standing there, full clothed. He leaned and gave me a peck on my lips.. How different his kisses are than Ashley's..

"I was sleeping Aiden.. And I was tired from yesterday.." tired kissing Ashley. But I could never get tired of kissing Ashley..

"Ok.. go get changed.. I will wait for you here.."

"What?"

"I will wait for you to change.. Alexei want us downstairs.. I don't know what he wants us.. I forgot to tell you yesterday with all these.."

"Aiden… Ok.. I will change and I will come and find you downstairs.."

"Spence.. I don't have a problem.. You can't hide something that I already have seen.. I have seen you naked you know.." Ashley.. she is in the bathroom and Aiden is here and she can hear us.. butterfly effect..

"Yeah, I know.. I just.. want to take a shower first and then do my make up and find something to wear. You will get bored here waiting for me.." Aiden stood up from his seat and come closer to me.. He put his hands on my face and kissed me again.. He wanted to go deeper but I can't.. I can't.. I pull off from his hands having my eyes looking down.. I was never ashamed of myself till now.. I have two people I care about and I am in the middle..

"What if you take the shower and I will be there helping you out.."

"NO" I said it louder that I was planning to..

"Spence.. why are you like this? And do you hide something?"

"Aiden, I am cranky when someone awakes me.. And if you leave now I may go to have a shower, without you, and I will find you downstairs in half an hour. Ok?"

"But.."

"I will find you downstairs.. Ok? Bye.." I peck his lips and close the door behind me.. _Ashley_.. she opened the door and just looked at me..

"Well I better get going then.."

"Ash?"

"It is ok. See you at the open ceremony.."

"Ash.. please don't leave.. I want to explain.."

"Spence.. It is ok.. I am not mad or anything.. Ok? I see you later.. bye.."

She just left me there, hanging from something that I really didn't have to hang.. I knew she wasn't mad but she clearly was sad.. Although I had to feel bad for Aiden, my boyfriend, I was feeling bad for Ashley.. I felt that I was cheating on her with Aiden.. how on earth did I come to this situation?

I got to the shower full of thoughts of Ashley and Aiden.. I didn't know what to do.. I couldn't break it off with Aiden.. He wasn't only my boyfriend but he was my pair as well.. Being a pair on ice you have to be synchronized. One wrong move and you will hurt yourself or you won't get the gold.. And if I was to break it off with Aiden I would lose my gold.. But if I wasn't break it off with Aiden I would lose Ashley.. eventually.. I really have to stop thinking..

After half an hour indeed I was downstairs to meet Alexei and Aiden.. There were other members too from the ice-skating team with their coaches.. I saw Jenna and she looked back at me.. I wasn't nice with her.. All these years I was pushing myself not to have friends but Jenna although I was that bitch she still didn't hold a grudge at me. But this time I think that I have to take the first move and for once to be the one to say hello..

"Jenna? Hey"

"Spencer? How are you?"

"I'm fine.. Thanks. You?"

"Nervous as hell but ok I think. How is your back?"

"Ehm? Ah, yes.. My back. Fine.. I suppose it was from the trip.."

"I am glad you feeling better. So Aiden and you are ready?"

"I really want to think so.. What about you?"

"Well, Sofia and I learned some new moves and I really hope I'll put a spell on the judges.."

"You are a good skater. Watch your loops and you will be fine"

"Thanks Spencer.. Good luck on ice"

"Yeah, you too.."

"We can get some coffee sometime. If you like?"

"Ok.. We will talk.. bye"

"Bye"

I am really glad I talked with Jenna. I missed talking with someone.. And Jenna was a great friend. As long as we were friends.. But ambitious took over me.. And I lost a friend and myself.. I want to start making things better.. Ashley made me think a lot of things.. Too many things..

"So my children.. I want ya to be prepared. Da?"

"We are ok Alexei. You will see"

"I hope dat for ya and for me. We start on February the 14th.. Pairs short program at 16.30. Then we are again on February the 16th. Pairs free skating. I want ya to do your best. The opening ceremony is today at 18.00. The American team will meet at 16.00. Be ready"

"Da Alexei" We said unison..

Two more days till I am on ice. Two more days.. Ashley's games start on the 16th so I will be there to watch her.. I have my ticket.. I will be there to see her for the first time.. Ashley.. I already missed her..

"So, babe.. What you want to do? Do you want to go for a walk?"

"Aid.. Sorry but I am not feeling ok. I just want to go to my room and rest.."

"What are you feeling? Are you sick or something?"

"No, no.. It's not that.. I just.. I am tired that's all.. Why don't you find some of the guys?"

"Are you sure? I can stay with you.."

"I am sure.. Ok? See you later" I kissed him and I left for my room. I wasn't tired. I was feeling ok. I just wanted to be with Ashley. If she still wants to be with me after this morning..

_Hey, where are you? I am thinking of you.. Spence xx_

I pressed the send button and now I was waiting for her to answer.. I kept looking my phone waiting for her.. Five minutes and she still didn't answer.. What I do? Send her another message say that I am sorry from this morning? Send her a.. she answered..

_I am in my room.. Thinking of you too.. Ash xx_

_I am sorry for this morning.. I am really sorry __ Spence xx_

_It's ok. Don't worry.. Ash xx_

_I want to see you. Can I come from your room? Spence xx_

_I will wait for you.. Ash xx_

_Be there on five.. Spence xx_

I took one last look on myself in the mirror and left my room to go and find the one person who occupied my thoughts all morning.. _What you did to me Ashley Davies?_

She opened the door and she was breathtaking.. Her brown curls were down, she had some jeans that were torn on her knees and a very short t-shirt that didn't hide her abs..

"Hey you"

"Hi"

"Do you want to come in?"

"I thought you would never ask.." once we were inside I took her in my arms and started kissing her.. I missed her kisses. I haven't had any from the last night and I needed to feel her.. She felt incredible..

"Hello, to you too.."

"What? I missed you all day.." she stepped away from me and she had me confused..

"Hey, what goes on?"

"Nothing.."

"Ash.. please tell me.. Is everything ok?"

"Actually no.. Spence? What is happening between us? I think that we established the kissing part. So what are we? Some good friends that enjoy kissing each other?"

"Ash.. You know.."

"Yeah, I know.. Aiden.. Why you kissed me Spencer?"

"Because I wanted to. Ok? I couldn't hold myself of not kissing you anymore.. Ash.. I have been thinking of you the last years.. You occupied my mind and I didn't even know you. I didn't even talk to you till the last two days.. I know it's too soon and everything but I can't take you out of my head.. You are there all the time.. Even when I talk with Aiden I think of you.. So.. please.. let us find together what we are. For now all I know is that I want to kiss you and for you to kiss me back. I want to hold you and for you to hold me back. I just want to be us.. No one else. Ok? And I'll see what am I going to do with Aiden.. ok? Now can you please come here and kiss me because I miss you already?"

"Spence.. I feel the same but I don't like this situation. I know it is difficult for you with Aiden and everything. But it is more difficult for me not to kiss you.. So it's just us and we find it together eh?"

"Yes.. Now can you please kiss me?"

"That I can do.. And something else. I recall you called me baby this morning?" oh, yes.. That.. I did..

"Ehm.. yes.. Sorry.. it's just slipped from my mouth.."

"I love being your baby" I smiled.. I so wanted her to be my baby.. I so wanted to be hers..

I stayed with Ashley for an hour kissing her till we couldn't breathe anymore.. I let my hands feel her body and I was amazed of how good she felt.. If we continued like this it would be difficult for us to stop.. And I wasn't ready to stop.. But we had to.. We have to meet with the others for the open ceremony.. I left her room, my lips red from our kissing and got to get ready.. I told her that I would wait for her downstairs.. I could wait for her.. I hope she could wait for me too.. Because I want nothing more to be Ashley's.. And I guess that is what they call love at first sight..

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**TBC**

**That was it for the day.. Next chapter.. well let's see.. I don't know either.. I guess we both will find out.. Thanks for reading and reviewing and putting this story on your favorites. It means a lot..**

**Reviews are always welcome..**

**xx**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys.. New day, new week, new chapter.. Sorry I couldn't upload yesterday.. Thank you all for your wonderful reviews.. I like reading them..**

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**Chapter 8**

I feel divided in two parts.. Ashley and Aiden.. Aiden is someone I knew for years.. It was the only friend I have and his is my boyfriend.. My pair on ice.. My other part is Ashley.. Ashley is someone that from the very first time I saw her occupy my thoughts.. I was lucky to meet her, to be with her both intimate and not.. We are short of together.. We hide from everyone and especially from Aiden.. I don't know.. The difficult thing is that I keep my hands off her and I want to take her and kiss her but I can't.. All I can is to watch her from behind.. In the ceremony.. When she is so near but yet so far..

When I left her room we made a promise not to tell anyone about us.. I told her not to say anything to Steve as well.. I know they are best friends and everything but I wasn't ready yet.. She didn't like it.. Ashley was out.. Everyone knew it.. Except from me of course.. I was looking at her doing what she loves.. I didn't hear the gossips.. Never was my thing.. Who was with whom.. Who did what.. So I didn't know she was out of the closet.. She told me when we were together that she knew she was gay way before Steve, but she didn't know what to do or how to say that to her parents.. She was openly gay five years..

When we got to the stadium where the open ceremony would start I couldn't take my eyes from her.. I was with Aiden and the ice-skating team and all I could think about was Ashley.. She didn't look at me once.. That hurt but yet again I told her we should be careful with our PDA..

Everyone knew me as the ice queen.. The one who don't do friendships.. The one who has only one goal.. So to be friendly and especially Ashley could run suspicions which I don't like.. But she was playing her role so very well.. She didn't look at me even for a minute.. Our eyes didn't meet not only for a second.. And it hurts.. She could look at me.. It wouldn't be a problem..

"Babe? Are you ok? You seem lost?"

"I am fine Aiden.. Just anxious"

"It is not our first you know.. We have done this before.. Many times"

"I know.. But every time is different from the one before"

"We will be ok.. You will see.. You have nothing to be afraid of.. I will hold you and you won't fall not once.. Your boy is strong.."

"I know you are Aid.. I know you are.." he was a very nice guy.. He didn't pressure me for anything.. Even when we made love for the first time he stopped us to see I was sure.. For Aiden it was always me.. But I don't know for me..

The ceremony was perfect.. Better than the other Olympics.. The stadium was full.. I love winter Olympics.. For me they are the best.. Not because I am an athlete of winter Olympics.. They are just different from the Olympics.. And these Olympics are very different from any others.. Because in these Winter Olympics I can kiss Ashley..

Ashley was still close but far from me.. Ashley's team where in front of us and I could see her.. Not even when the ceremony was finished she didn't come to me.. She still didn't look at me.. I was that close to got to her side, cup her face and start kissing her in front of everyone..

"Spencer? How did you like the open ceremony?"

"Jenna.. hey.. It was ok.."

"They did well this year.. So are you coming with us?"

"Where?"

"Well since we start in two days we said we could go our for a drink.. You know.. The team.. So what do you say?"

"It's ok.. I can't."

"Yes, you can.. Aiden said yes.. You can't say no.. We will meet at the reception at 10. Ok? Bye Spencer.."

"Bye.."

Ok. I so didn't want to go there.. I wanted to be with Ashley.. I wanted to have my alone with her..

_Hey.. where are you? Didn't see you after the ceremony.. S__pence xx_

_I am with the team.. We left after that.. Where are you? Ash xx_

_I am just here.. Spence xx_

_And where is exactly here ;) Ash xx_

_We are going out for the night.. The team.. Do you want to come? Spence xx_

She didn't answer me back.. Instead I saw her name flashing when I looked at my phone.. I had a huge smile because I didn't hear her voice for so long..

"Hey you.."

"Hey.. so what's with the night out?"

"My team wants to go out and have some fun before we start. So.. what do you say?"

"I don't know.. What if someone see us together? Won't be that a problem?"

"Right now.. I don't care.. I just want to see you.. Ok? So will you?"

"I'll think about it.."

"Ash.."

"What time?"

"At 10. Meeting point at the reception.."

"Why don't you see where you are going and then send me a message.. I could come and find you.. That would be less suspicious.."

"Ash.. I am sor.."

"No. Don't you say you are sorry.. Send me a message and I try my best to come and find you. Ok?"

"Ash.. please.."

"See you later Spence.."

I was torn.. It was my fault.. But what I could do in this situation? My heart knew but my mind was telling me another thing.. All I know is I can't be away from her.. And I hope she can come and find me..

At 10 we were all downstairs so we could leave.. I asked Jenna where we were going and she told me that we were going to a local club.. It was near the Olympic village.. So I text Ashley the place and hope I can see her there.. I was waiting for her reply but she never answered me back if she would come or no..

The club was ok.. Very crowed.. People dancing to the dance floor, touching each other.. When we got in I was pulled from Aiden to a less crowded place and he started kissing me.. He was touching places where Ashley touched yesterday, he was kissing my lips where they reserved only for Ashley.. And he was kissing me and I was thinking of Ashley.. I pulled away from him and although it was dark I saw the look of confusion on his face.. I wasn't too girlfriendly with him lately and we knew what was the reason.. Ashley..

"Spence.. are you ok?"

"I am fine Aid.. We came here to relax a little and have fun with friends.."

"But Spence.. You don't speak with any of them.."

"I speak with Jenna and it is time for me to change.. Now come to find the others.." where is Ashley?

I take my phone out so I can text her again and tell her where we are exactly so if she comes to know where to find me.. Again nothing.. She didn't answer me back and I was starting to think that she would never come..

I was on the dance floor with my team dancing to David Guetta's song 'Memories'.. I love this song.. And I love the lyrics as well.. They so remind me of me.. I was lost to my dancing when I sensed a hand behind my back.. At first I thought it was Aiden's but it couldn't be.. I knew that touch.. I turn my head and I see her.. She did come.. She didn't say anything.. Me neither.. We continued dancing repeating the lyrics of the song.. _'All the crazy shit I did tonight.. those going to be the best memories..' _And she is a memory I want to keep and never forget..

When the song finished another one and another one could be heard from the speakers.. Aiden wasn't near.. To be true I didn't care where he was.. Ashley was here..

"You came.."

"I didn't say I wouldn't"

"You didn't answer me back.."

"Surprise.. Nice dancing movies.. You are a great dancer aside from the ice.."

"I am trying.. It depends from the partner.."

"So I guess Aiden is a great partner because you dance amazing on ice.."

"Nah.. he is ok.."

Ashley took my hand and we left the place where all my teammates where.. I didn't ask her where we were going.. I didn't ask her because I would follow her wherever.. And I needed to be with her..

We were outside the club.. No one was outside.. We were alone.. Ashley and me..

"You didn't look at me not once in the ceremony.."

"I couldn't look at you.."

"Why?"

"Because if I would I couldn't help myself.."

"I just wanted to see you, I wanted for you to look at me.. When you didn't I thought you were mad or something.."

"I am not mad.. It isn't easy for me Spence.. When I am with you all I do is to kiss you and touch you.. But I can't do that and that hurts.."

"I feel the same.. Baby please.."

I stepped close to her and put my hands behind her back.. She wasn't dressed full clothed although it was cold outside.. I placed my kissed to her neck while letting my tongue travel to her pulse point and suck a little.. I could hear her moan and that was turning me on.. I wanted to feel her..

"Spence.. we.. can't.. here"

"I want you.. so bad.."

She opened her eyes and I saw those beautiful brown I came to love.. Blue met brown and I was lost one more time to what Ashley Davies is.. She was kissing me back, our tongues fight for dominance.. I could feel all my senses.. I closed my eyes and I could sense her, I had my hands off her and I could see her, I could taste her, I could touch her.. I don't know how long I will be able to hold myself from not being with her..

"Mmm.. Spence.. if we don't stop.."

"I know.. Oh, God I know.."

"We.. have.. to.."

"I can't.. I want you.."

We were lost to each other and we couldn't hear anything else besides each others moans.. But what made us separate from each other was a door that opened.. We were afraid that someone saw us but no one did.. The door opened and I saw Aiden coming outside looking.. Looking for me? And I was with Ashley against a wall hot although outside was -10 degrees..

"_Spence?"_

"Ssss.. don't speak.." I said to Ashley.. He couldn't see us here together.. "I am going to find him.. Ok?"

"Spence.."

"Come to my room tonight.. Ok? I will be waiting for you.."

"Spe.."

"I will be waiting for you.." I gave her a full mouthful kiss and went to find Aiden..

"Aiden?"

"Babe.. I was looking for you.. Where were you?"

"I wasn't feeling ok inside.. Too much smoke.. I came outside to breathe some cold air.."

"Ok.. Are you feeling better now.. Do you want to come in?"

"Yeah, I am feeling better.. Let's go.."

I took one last look to where Ashley was before I stepped inside with Aiden.. I mouthed an 'I will be waiting..' and got in..

Ashley never came back to the club and I was already feeling her absence.. It was too much for both of us.. But I hoped she could come tonight.. I will be waiting for her..

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**TBC**

**Hope you liked it.. Sorry it is shorter than my others.. Tomorrow another update.. Thank you all again for reading and reviewing..**

**Reviews are always welcome..**

**xx**


	9. Chapter 9

**So.. here I am with the new chapter.. Hope you like it..**

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**Chapter 9**

Things are getting difficult.. I lost my focus.. I lost myself.. I am drawing to a sea that hear to the name, Ashley.. I thought I could control myself.. I thought that I had it all under control.. Little did I know..

I want Ashley.. A simple thought but yet so difficult.. I have to think more carefully of the things I am doing.. I can't.. I can't tell Aiden yet.. What I could say to him? _Hey Aid.. I am breaking up with you because I am falling for someone that is not you? Oh.. and by the way.. It's Ashley.._ I just can't.. And I can't just not be with Ashley.. I am all fucked up.. That is a so fucked up situation and I don't know what it is better for me to do.. I know that my choices will hurt someone.. But who that might be..? Ashley or Aiden? In love or brother love? Girl or guy? My heart knows but what my mind is thinking.. Is too scary..

When I was outside the club with Ashley making out as two high school lover's and heard Aiden my heart stopped.. What if he saw us.. What I would tell him then? And before the Olympics? I think that would be a disaster.. But he didn't.. And I was so relieved.. I wanted to tell him.. Maybe after the medals.. When we would do our routine.. When I would be the gold medal champion.. Selfish? Maybe..

I left Ashley outside and get inside with Aiden.. I don't know if he knew Ashley was here.. When she came inside and we danced he wasn't near at that time.. I wouldn't tell him anything unless he asked..

All the time I was with the team I was thinking of Ashley.. That's new eh? It's new for me.. I never thought of someone that much.. No one occupied my thoughts all day.. Until I kissed that girl.. Until I made her mine in a way.. But she never got back.. She didn't come back to the club and I couldn't blame her for that.. Ashley knows what she wants, knows who she is.. But me.. I am still searching to find myself.. I know it is difficult for her with all this but I think that what we feel it's real.. Tonight I will be waiting for her.. I told her I would wait.. I hope she comes..

We stayed at the club longer than I expected.. I guess we needed that.. I guess I needed that because I was always so stern.. When we got to our rooms it was 3am.. Ashley didn't text me to ask me where I was or if I was back so she could come to me.. I was so wasted that I didn't see that I had one missed call and one voice message.. I smiled hoping it was Ashley.. But my smile lost when I heard the voice message.. My mom.. I forgot totally about them..

_Hey honey.. I tried calling you but probably you were asleep.. Good for you.. You need your sleep.. This year we will be winners.. So I called to tell you that Dad and__ I are coming tomorrow early in the morning.. We will be there at 6am.. Oh, honey I am so happy.. So see you tomorrow.. Bye.._

"WHAT?"

Ok.. I am talking to myself now.. I forgot about them.. Shit.. And I wanted to be with Ashley tonight.. But.. Ashley.. why she didn't called me or came by my room?

I saw what time was and it was after 3.30am.. Should I call her? And what would I say? Why you didn't come by room? Slutty much? Maybe needy?

I called her though and I waited for her to pick it up..

"Yes?" she said with her raspy voice that I came to love so much..

"Ash.. were you asleep?"

"Spence?"

"Yes.."

"When did you come back?"

"Half an hour ago.. Want to come?"

"I.. I.. don't know Spence.. Maybe I shouldn't"

"What? Why?"

"Spence.. We only kissed and I am so addictive to you that it scares the hell out of me.. If we were more intimate I don't know if I could handle it.. With the situation and everything.."

"Ash.. baby.. I promise to tell Aiden after.. I promise.. I can't not be with you.. It is impossible.. And I feel.. I feel.. so close to you and I need you.. I need you in every way.."

"I need you too.. But I don't know if we should.. At least not for now.."

"So what are you saying..? That you don't want us to be together?"

"Are we together?"

"Yes, we are Ashley.."

"So you are together with two people.."

"What are you saying?"

"I am saying that you can't be with two people.. And I can't think of you with Aiden doing what you are doing.. It's too much for me.. And I want to make love to you.. I do.. But then you will be still Aiden's and I can't.."

"Ash.. we.. Aiden and I are not sexually together.. We haven't been for a long time now.. He only kisses me.. I can't let him touch me.. Not after you.."

"Spence.."

"Please.. please.. don't do that to us.. I will break it off with him.."

"Ok.."

"So do you want to come?"

"Maybe some other time.."

"My parents are coming.. in three hours.. I forgot about them.."

"Nice.."

"I want you to meet them.."

"What?"

"I want you to meet them.. So when I tell them that we are together they will already love you and we won't have a problem.."

"How you know they will love me..?"

"Because I lo.. I like you.. Ok?"

"Goodnight Spence.. Talk to you tomorrow.. Call me.."

"Goodnight baby.. I will dream of you.."

I closed my phone and I had a smile mixed with emotions.. So many emotions.. I could have lost Ashley because I am a coward, but I didn't.. I so need to break it off with Aiden..

I got to the shower and back to bed.. I had two hours to sleep and dream of Ashley..

The next morning I was awake by my mom.. No she wasn't at my door.. She was ringing my phone.. And I was in my dream world with Ashley.. And we were doing things to each other.. And I feel wet.. Ok naughty things..

"Yes?"

"Spencer, honey? Did I wake you up?"

"What do you think?"

"Oh, don't be like this. We are outside. Which number is your room?"

"Mom.. I am still in bed you know.."

"Spencer.."

"205"

"We are coming. I am so happy to see you honey.."

"Yeah, yeah.."

Ok.. Let me introduce you to my family.. Mom, Paula Carlin.. Doctor, pushing, blond with blue eyes.. Dad, Arthur Carlin, social worker, the best dad ever, dark hair blue eyes.. Well.. I am a daddy's girl.. Not my fault..

My mom always pressured me to be better and better.. It was my choice to begin to skate but my mom was there to every step I made and pushed me harder and harder to be the best.. I guess she made it.. I am here.. Aren't I?

My dad from the other hand was always more relaxed.. He saw me doing a hobby and nothing more.. I was happy when my mom couldn't come to see me and dad was there.. Even if I wasn't that good he would hug me and then we could go for ice-cream.. My mom would yell and tell me that I could do better and the other girls were nothing.. I guess that's why I didn't have friends..

Brother's or sister's? No. I was an only child.. So I had all the attention I needed and sometimes didn't need..

So.. she was here and I couldn't tell her not to come.. Olympics were her dream.. To see her daughter hold the gold medal.. Sometimes I wonder if it was my dream or her dream..

"Spencer.. Oh, honey.. I missed you so much"

"Hey, mom.."

"Baby girl.."

"Hey daddy.. How are you?"

"Now that I can see you after so long.. I am great"

"Oh, daddy.."

"Spencer? How you doing? How is Aiden? Alexei? Did you practice? I believe this is our year.."

"Mom.. wow.. It's like 6am and I am still sleeping.. Could you relax please?"

"Sorry.. Anxious.."

"Sorry.. but I am the one who competes with other people.."

"She is right Paula.. We haven't seen her for so long and you come here and ask her all these?"

"Ok.. guilty.. So how are you honey?" I am fine.. Great.. I am in love with another girl..

"The same.. Practicing and waiting for our day"

"How is Aiden?"

"He is good I think."

"When are we going to see our boy?"

"Ewww mom.. jesus.. If I didn't know better I would say that you are in love with him"

"Spencer.. watch you mouth.."

"He is sleeping I suppose and I don't know when you are going to see him.. I want you to meet someone though.. Is a new friend and she is a great athlete.. She was the gold medal champion four years ago.."

"What's her sport?"

"Snowboard"

"Is that a sport?"

"Paula.."

"What? Come on.. Snowboard?"

"Yes, mom. Snowboard. And she is very good at it.. You have to see her"

"Ok.. I suppose she has a name?"

"Ashley Davies"

"I like her already baby girl.."

"Dad.. you haven't even see her.."

"Well if she is your friend I am sure she is lovely.. And I like her name"

Did I tell you how much I love my daddy? Isn't he great?

We talked for a while.. I told them they would meet Ashley today.. I wanted for them to love her.. Guess my dad already did.. After I kissed them goodbye I called Ashley.. I so wanted to hear her voice again.. And kiss her.. And do things to her.. Ashley.. Mmmm..

"Hey you.."

"hey.."

"Did your parents come?"

"Yes, they did.."

"You don't sound happy.."

"I was happy seeing my dad but not so much seeing my mom.. Long story"

"Whenever you want to start this story you know I could listen.."

"Thank you.. So.. What are you doing at 11?"

"Let me think.. Meeting your parents?"

"Yes.. And what else?"

"Hmm.. seeing you?"

"Much better.. Come from my room round 10.30"

"What for?" she said and I knew she knew the answer but I would be glad to answer her that..

"Well.. you see.. I want to have some alone time with you before you meet the one and only Paula Carlin.."

"In that case I will be there on time.."

Three hours till I could see Ashley.. Three hours till I could kiss her again.. Three and a half hours till she would meet my parents..

At 10.29 I heard my door.. Ashley was a minute earlier..

"You are earlier that you supposed to be here.."

"Well.. I am so terribly sorry.. I can go and come back in a minute.."

"Come here you big fool.."

I took her inside and I was already attacking her lips.. Those lips.. Why did she have to be so perfect? So addictive?

"I missed you.."

"You saw me yesterday.."

"Yes, but I missed you.. It has been.. 10 hours.."

"You are cute.."

"Only with you.. Now where were we?"

"I think that you were kissing me.."

"Oh.. yes.. Let me continue then.."

We were on my bed making out.. Touching and kissing.. We didn't go any further although I knew that we both wanted it.. I didn't want to make love with her for the first time like that.. And she felt the same.. But I so wanted to..

I didn't call Aiden.. I send him a message that my parents were here and I was going to see them and I would talk with him later..

"Are you ready to meet the Carlin's?"

"Are they as you?"

"You mean beautiful, awesome and sexy as hell?"

"Yeah, you read my mind.."

"Mom is mom.. And I am sure you will love my dad"

"Then I am ready.. Bring it on.."

11.00 o'clock sharp and we were downstairs.. My parents were already there waiting for us.. When we were by their side I saw my mom's look.. She looked at Ashley and I didn't like how she looked at her.. I knew that look..

"Mom, dad.. This is Ashley"

"Nice to meet you Mr and Mrs Carlin" aww.. my girl is so polite..

"Nice to meet you Ashley. Spencer here told us you are an athlete too?" my dad.. Kind as always.. My mom still didn't speak.. Did she know.. Could she sense that something was between Ashley and I?

"She is not just and athlete dad.. She is a gold medal athlete. An Olympic gold medal athlete.." I said proudly. I was so proud for her.. She was the best after all and she was my girl..

"It's ok Spence.." I saw my mother after she called me shortening my name.. I think I am crazy but she knows..

"No it is not.. You are great at what you do.. Don't be modest to that.."

"So.. Ashley.. how long you snowboard?" mom.. I hope she don't make a mistake and insult Ashley..

"Well Mrs Carlin.. I always liked snowboard.. But somehow I found myself into the Olympics.. So to answer your question I snowboard for 17 years.."

"That's too long.. How old are you?"

"23 in five months"

"Mom.. I guess we finished with the interrogation."

"Ashley, did you think that I was interrogating you?"

"No, mam. Of course not"

"Ok. Can we go now?"

"Of course Spence."

We left the three of us.. I wasn't sure what my mother's problem was.. She seemed that she didn't like Ashley and she didn't have a reason to. My dad was feeling all the tension between mom and I and didn't try to say anything.. I don't care for my mom and what she thinks.. All I care is to protect Ashley from my mom..

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**TBC**

**Well.. Not there yet.. Wait another chapter and I will have them together.. I have a reason..**

**Reviews are always welcome**

**xx**


	10. Chapter 10

**Well.. what can I say.. Thank you all for putting this story to your favorite lists and we are still in the beginning.. It means a lot.. This chapter is for someone special..**

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**Chapter 10**

Ashley meeting my parents was overwhelming? Yes.. My mom was ok.. That's a first.. She kept looking at her though and then both of us.. I was waiting for her to say a rude comment or anything.. But she didn't.. My dad from the other hand was intrigued by Ashley.. And how he could resist her..

We were there eating our lunch when my mom out of nowhere asked about Aiden.. And I thought we were having a nice lunch..

"Spencer.. how is Aiden? He is a great guy Spencer.. You are very lucky to have him.." I looked at her and I didn't know what to say to that.. She wasn't completely wrong. He was a great guy and I was lucky to have him.. But I didn't want him as a boyfriend. More as a best friend.. Ashley hearing my mother telling me this looked away and I saw her hands in a fist. I didn't want to put her in the middle of this.. I promised her that we are going to be fine..

"Why don't you ask him mom? I can give you his phone.."

"Spencer.."

"What dad?"

"She didn't say something wrong. She asked you about your boyfriend"

"He is fine mom. We are fine. Ok?"

"So Ashley.. Do you have someone special in your life?" my mom ladies and gentleman .. Always tactful.. I wasn't sure of Ashley's answer..

"Yes, Mrs Carlin.. I have" she said and she didn't look at me.. If she did I am sure my mom would be 100 per cent sure about us.. I think she can sense something..

"And who is the lucky guy?"

"Ehm.."

"Enough with the interrogation mom.. I think it's time for us to go.. We have to be at the hotel. Tomorrow it's Aiden's and mine's short program and I need to relax.."

"Of course honey.. We will be there.."

I didn't want to keep us a secret but I couldn't tell now.. I had to stop Ashley before she said that she has a lucky girl and not a lucky guy.. We said our goodbyes and me and Ashley headed to our hotel.. I wanted to hold her hand but I couldn't. I wanted to kiss her lips but I couldn't.. And Ashley was quiet all this long..

"Baby? What you have in that beautiful mind of yours?"

"Nothing.. Just thinking" she said and I knew what thoughts were inside her head..

"So.. how was your day with my family? I bet you loved my mom.." I saw her smiling at me.. That smile I love and it wasn't fake..

"Yes, your mother is a charmer as her daughter.. I didn't like your dad.. Too stern.." we both laughed and I felt better seeing her like this..

"So.. are you coming tomorrow?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world.."

"Really?"

"Spence.. I watched all your competitions and if I couldn't I would record it so I could see it later.. So you bet your cute little ass that I will be there tomorrow.. I bought my ticket a long long time ago.."

"Why I can't resist you? Please tell me?"

"Because.. I am hard to resist.."

"So what you planned for the day?" before she answers me back Aiden pulled me in a hug and it wasn't something I expected..

"Babe.. I missed you.." he said and kissed me on my lips. His tongue asking for entrance.. But it was never granted.. Not in front of Ashley.. "Oh, hey Ashley. How you've been? I haven't seen you in ages" Ashley smiled but that smile was fake.

"Oh, hey Aiden.. I am just here.." she said and looked back at me.. "So.. bye Spencer.. See you again sometime.." I left Aiden and went to catch her before she enter the elevator..

"Ash.. wait.."

"Hey.."

"Are we good?"

"Of course we are.. Go to him.. He might be suspicious.. He keeps looking at us.."

"Right now I don't care.. Are we good?"

"Yes, baby.. Go.. Call me later. Ok? I will think of you.."

"I so want to kiss you right now.."

"That would be wrong but I want that too.. Now leave.."

"I will call you later.."

"I will be in my room waiting.."

Ashley was inside the elevator and I was still there looking at the closed doors.. When I returned back to Aiden he had this expression on his face.. He was curious..

"Did something happen with Ashley?"

"She.. No she is ok.. She didn't feel that well.."

"Why don't you go and make sure she is ok?" Oh, Aiden you don't know what you are asking..

"I did but she told me she was ok and to come back to you.." it was true.. In a way..

"So how was the parents?"

"As always.. they will come tomorrow.."

"Then we have to be perfect.."

"Yes, we have and we will.."

After Ashley I couldn't be with Aiden as I had to.. It was difficult for me.. I was thinking that I was cheating.. And it is crazy.. But not that crazy.. Because I cheat to both of them.. Aiden with Ashley and Ashley with Aiden.. But Aiden doesn't know it..

That night I thought of two things.. What tomorrow will bring for me and Aiden.. Will we be the first ones? And I thought about Ashley.. I thought about her in there.. Watching me.. Be proud of me.. As I am for her.. I couldn't sleep without talking to her..

"hey you.."

"Hey baby.. I missed your voice"

"I missed you.."

"I am nervous about tomorrow.."

"Don't be.. You will be great"

"How I will know where you are?"

"My heart will beat so hard and you will know where to find me.."

"You are cheesy.."

"But it's the truth.. I can't believe that I will be there watching Spencer Carlin.. My girlfriend.."

"I am your girlfriend eh?"

"Oh, yes you are.. You so are my girlfriend"

"I like that.."

"So.. go to sleep.. I don't know if I will see you tomorrow with all the preparations.. So I want you to know that I will think of you.. and you will be great.. and I think that someone knocks your door.."

"How did you know? Did you hear it? I don't expect anyone.."

"Why don't you open your door to find out then.."

"Hold on a sec" I stood up to go and see who was to my door.. And I was happily surprised because Ashley was there with a big smile..

"Baby.. I have to close.. I have a hot brunette to my door.."

I closed the door behind us and I took a look of the hotness of the one and only Ashley Davies.. I run to her arms and hug her and locked our mouths with kisses till we couldn't breathe..

"What are you doing here?"

"Well.. as I said.. I can't see you tomorrow so I had to kiss you and say good luck.."

"Oh, I like how you think.."

"I am sure.."

No.. we didn't make love that night.. I initiated it but Ashley didn't want to.. She said that she wanted for me to be relaxed for tomorrow and not tired after a long night of hot, passion sex.. She left my room after an hour or so and my mind was still with her.. I was thinking of her luscious lips, of her perfect body.. I was thinking of Ashley in general.. And my dreams were nothing but nice..

Tomorrow came so fast.. Before I know it we were inside waiting to be the next.. Ashley told me that I would know where to find her.. And it's crazy because when I was on ice I did find her.. I think I could find her wherever she was.. I smiled and we did our bow.. Let the show begin..

I think we did good.. We weren't perfect but enough to be to the top three.. I tried my best to be perfect and make Ashley proud.. When we saw our rank I was happy.. Almost.. We were the bronze medal champions this year.. I was hoping for the gold but Russia was the first.. I can't say anything to that because their program was perfect.. Aiden kissed me and he was so happy.. And I wanted to kiss someone else instead..

"Babe we did it.. We took our medal.. We did it Spence.. We did it.."

"Yes, we did Aid.. You were great.."

"No.. we were great.. We both were great Spence.. Oh, my God.. We took the bronze" he was so happy.. He was satisfied with what we got.. Don't get me wrong.. I was happy as well but I wanted the gold..

We celebrated with the team and everyone congratulated us for our accomplishment.. We were all happy.. And I was thinking of Ashley and how I could celebrate my night..

"Babe.. what are we going to do tonight?"

"I don't know Aid. I just want to have some sleep.. We have our pair free skating the day after tomorrow.."

"Yeah, I know.. But we have to celebrate.."

"I can't Aid.. I feel kind of tired"

"As you wish Spence.. I am going out with the team.."

"Have fun.."

I was hoping for another fun tonight.. Tonight I just wanted Ashley in more than one ways.. I called her cell phone to see where she was.. She was alone in her room.. But not for long.. I took a shower and got to see her..

She greeted me with her boy shorts and a shirt that hidden only her breasts.. Nice Ashley..

"This is how you open your door to everyone?"

"Not everyone.. Only my girlfriend"

"And what if I was someone else?"

"Well you weren't.."

I didn't wait anymore.. I took her in my arms and started kissing her.. I was wearing my robe but nothing underneath.. Prepared much? You bet.. Tonight Ashley and I would be together.. I wanted to make her mine as I wanted for her to make me hers..

We were on her bed standing still.. Her legs touching the bed and me cupping her face with both of my hands.. I had my lips on hers.. Tasting her.. And oh, my God she tasted so good.. I was licking her bottom lip with my tongue while I was asking for entrance.. I didn't have to ask because our tongues were already exploring each other..

My hands were under her short shirt touching her breasts, massaging them, feeling her nipples harden with every touch I did.. My lips never leaving hers.. Her hands inside my robe doing what I did to her seconds ago.. I was already wet.. Only by kissing her.. I can't imagine what she will do to me when I feel her inside me..

Her hands taking down my robe and undoing my silk belt.. I was naked.. And when she saw that she was licking her lips biting her bottom.. I knew she was taking time to see me but I couldn't wait to feel her..

She lied me with my back on her bed and started to kiss me to all the places she knew that it would make need her more and more.. She was exploring my body not with her hands but with her tongue.. She kept looking at me and I am sure she could see the want in my eyes..

"Oh, my God Spence.. You are so.. beautiful"

"Ash.. I need you…"

She licked my right breast taking it full to her mouth while she cupped my left massaging it.. She knew that this was my first time being with a girl and I understood that she didn't want to take it fast.. She wanted for me to feel everything.. And I did.. And I so loved her for that..

She left my breasts to get down on me.. I did that with Aiden several times but it was always rough and it was like he was hungry or something.. After sometimes I told him that I didn't like it anymore.. But I wanted to feel Ashley between my legs.. I wanted to feel her tongue.. She was there inches apart from my abdomen when she looked at me to see if I was ok.. Of course I was.. When she had her confirmation I felt her.. I felt her kisses between my thighs and then I felt her to my heated centre.. She was tender and slow.. Nothing like Aiden.. She licked my folds and I was starting to trembling.. She was making feel things I never experienced before.. She knew how to satisfy me only by her tongue.. Now all I could think of was what she could do with her hands..

She was playing with my clit, sucking it and making me moan her name under her every touch.. She looked at me one more time.. And I felt her inside me.. Not before she was on my mouth kissing me, tasting myself in her.. She had two of her fingers inside me, thrusting me in and out.. My hands on her hair, my eyes on her.. Brown met blue.. I was ready to come all over her hand..

"Come for me baby.."

"Oh, Ash.. I am there baby.." I could sense my walls tighten her fingers and I knew I was there.. Ashley would give me the best orgasm I had..

I came screaming her name.. Her name never seemed so beautiful.. She was amazing and all this was overwhelming.. This night I needed her.. As I knew she needed me.. And I am sure I will want her tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and forever..

"Spence.. are you ok baby?"

"Mmm.. great.. never better"

"Did I hurt you?"

"Baby.. you were amazing.. You gave me the best orgasm I ever had.."

"You are beautiful Spence.. In every way.."

This night will be long and tiring.. Having sex with my hot girlfriend.. I am addictive to Ashley Davies..

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**TBC**

**Well.. hope you liked as much as I wrote it..**

**Reviews are always welcome..**

**xx**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys.. Sorry I couldn't upload these last two days but I couldn't.. We lost my grandma.. I couldn't sit and write.. My mind was there with her.. So.. here I am again and here is the new chapter..**

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**Chapter 11**

Ok. How many firsts you have in your life? First crying? First steps? First words? First love? I had all of them.. But my first with Ashley was out of this world. Ashley was my first in too many things.. She was the first that I found myself lost. She was the first my heart beat so fast. She was the first person I fell in love with and the first time I got together with a girl. Ashley. My first.

The night we found ourselves lost to each other was.. I think that I don't have the words to describe it. I wanted her so much that I couldn't do anything to stop myself. If it was in her hand she would stop us. But it wasn't. And I showed her that I needed her. It's like two magnets. They pull each other.. That's how I feel with Ashley.. She pulls me so hard that I can't and I don't want to let her go..

That night we made love all night.. I was found in places I didn't know they existed.. And she guided me through everything.. I didn't know if I was ok.. All I knew was that I wanted to please her as she did the same to me. I wanted to show her how much I loved her..

Love.. Big word.. I don't know if I am ready to tell her that so soon. She may freak out.. But I do love her.. I think I loved her from the very first time I saw her.. I didn't believe in love at first sight.. But with Ashley I did many firsts..

"Hey what are you thinking?"

"You"

"Come on.. Tell me.."

"Ash.. I am thinking of you.. Right now you occupy all of my thoughts.."

"That's good. Because you do the same to me.."

"Ash.. last night was.."

"I know baby.. Are you sure you are fine though? You know.. Your first time being with a .."

"Don't say it.. Because right now I wish you were my first.. But in a way you are.."

"You are cute.."

"Only with you.."

"So.. what are we going to eat for breakfast?"

"I can think of something.."

"Spencer Carlin has a dirty mind?"

"Yes, do you have a problem with that?"

"No.. Please, no.. I like it.. So.. breakfast?"

"Breakfast.. yeah"

We did get our breakfast in bed.. If you know what I mean.. Tomorrow would be a hard day. I want to give the best of me.. And I want that gold medal.. We stayed in bed till it was time for me to get up.. Unfortunately.. Aiden was looking for me.. I saw 10 missed calls on my cell and 2 messages.. Aouts! How on earth I will tell him why I missed his calls..

Ashley was getting out of the shower, dripping water from her hair and a small towel.. Ok.. If I continue I may not get out from this room.. But she was hot..

"Hey, what is it?" Ashley could see through me.. She could read me and that was rare. No one could read me. And when Ashley do it it scares me..

"Aiden.." I saw her smile vanish from her beautiful face and I know it's because of Aiden..

"Oh.."

"He called me and I missed his calls."

"Then you should go and find him"

"Ash.." I got up from our bed, still naked from all the activities we did all night and all this morning.. She didn't look at me.. Her eyes everywhere but me.. I hate it when she does that.. "Please look at me. I want you to look at me" and she did.. Those beautiful brown eyes were looking at me and I could read them.. We could read each other so very well..

"Spence.."

"Ash.. Do you know what last night meant for me?" she didn't say anything so I continued.. "Let me tell you then.. It meant everything.. Ash.. if I didn't want you I wouldn't be with you. And clearly we wouldn't make love to each other. Believe me when I am saying that all I want is you.. I don't want Aiden.."

"I know that Spence.. But it's hurting me and I don't want to put you in a situation when you have to choose and I don't want to hide.."

"You didn't put me in a situation I didn't want to be put. I chose us Ash.. I initiated everything and I was glad I had you there with me.."

"Ok.. I want to tell you something else.."

"Whatever baby.. Tell me.."

"Could you please go and wear something because having this conversation with you naked it's turning me even more and I think that in five minutes I will jump you.."

"And that would be a problem because..?"

"Get inside the bathroom.. now missy.." she said kissing me and slapping my ass so I could get inside.. What if I wanted for her to jump me? She doesn't care for my feelings.. I am just joking of course..

When I finished my shower Ashley was already dressed and her hair pulled to a pony tail still wet.. I stood still just to look at her.. To take a mental picture of her so I could continue my day..

"What are you looking at?"

"What do you think?"

"Well.. as I see you look at me I would say 'you are looking at me"

"You are clever after all.. I thought that beautiful people don't think.."

"Well this beautiful girl is clever.. Can you handle me?"

"Well.. I think what I can do about it" I stepped closer to her throwing my towel to the bed and be naked in front of her once again.. If you asked me I would say that I want to take her right here.. And I am sure she knows that because she looks at me and she bites her bottom lip..

"I think that you should dress baby.. You will catch a cold.."

"Will you be there to take care of me?"

"If you are nice.."

"Pleeeeaaaaseeee…" I said and pouted.. She couldn't resist that..

"Ok.."

"You are the best.."

"Pss.. I know.."

She handed me some of her clothes and now I could smell like Ashley.. I will have her close to me all day..

"Ok.. Go.."

"Why Ms Davies? Did you get bore of me?"

"I would never get bored of you Ms Carlin but it think that someone searches for you.. Call me later ok? I will be with my team and I will think of you.."

"I will think of you.. Bye baby" I kissed her luscious lips one more time.. She is my drug and I can't be away from her for long..

When I was inside my room my phone rang again. I saw who that was and it was Aiden of course..

"Hey Aid.."

"Spence? Where are you?"

"My room.. I saw your missed calls."

"Yeah, I was calling you.. Why you didn't peak it up?"

"There is something that is called 'I am sleeping' and when I sleep I have my phone in mute.. I don't want anything to disturb my sleep Aid. Especially now.."

"What if it was an emergency?"

"Someone died?"

"no"

"Someone is hurt?"

"No"

"So? Did you want something especially?"

"Spence.. Last night we did our best.. We are that close to get gold.."

"Yeah, I know.. Did you have fun yesterday?"

"That's what I mean.. You don't care? All the team was out there celebrating our rank and score and you weren't with us. What's wrong with you?"

"Aid.. really.. When I was friendly with anyone? When I celebrated with you guys? Never. Then why I should start now?"

"But you are friendly with someone and it's not from our team.."

"Care to share?"

"When you met Ashley you changed somehow. I don't know how or when but I can see you changed.."

"You don't know what you are saying.."

"I do. You knew her for a day and you went for skating and snowboarding.. It seems you are friendlier with her than every other person you know years now"

"That jealous thing Aiden.. Not attractive.."

"I am not jealous Spencer. I am just saying.. And remember I was the one who introduced you to each other.."

"Well.. thank you Aiden. Bless you for that.."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing. See you tomorrow at the stadium"

"Spencer?"

"Bye Aiden.."

This situation is fucked up.. Aiden is jealous of Ashley.. Ashley is scared of me and Aiden.. And I am in the middle and the only one that can resolve anything. I know what I want to do and I am doing it tomorrow after our program. Now my mind and heart knows what they want.. I know what I want.. My freezing heart started to melt..

I didn't want to see Aiden that day.. I know that I was a little harsh but I just couldn't.. All I wanted was to be with Ashley.. I couldn't bring her to my room because of Aiden.. You don't know when he is going to knock at my door.. So I went to her room.. I knew she was inside because we talked to each other and she was waiting for me..

"Hey sexy.."

"Hey baby.. Can I come in?"

"You don't have to ask.. Please.."

We got inside and took my seat to Ashley's bed.. Where last night and this morning I had Ashley all for myself.. I was still wearing her clothes and I loved the feeling of them on my body..

"What is it beautiful?"

"I talked with Aiden.."

"Did he tell you anything to upset you?"

"He is pushing and I think he is jealous although he is saying the opposite.."

"Jealous of whom?"

"You and me. You know how I am. Or how I was. And he can see that I have changed somehow. And he knows it's because of you."

"How? He didn't see us to close to each other. How?"

"I don't know. And I can't handle Aiden right now.. I want to finish with all this.. Tomorrow I will tell him about us. After our program"

"Are you sure?"

"Definitely as I am sure I want to feel you right now. I want to feel your kisses and your touches.. I want you Ash.."

"Oh.. Spence.."

We didn't say anything else.. Our bodies talked for us.. Ashley and I were in our world. Lost but yet found.. Clothes tossed all over the room and naked bodies touching and feeling.. I craved her. I needed her.. I wanted her..

We made love once again.. But what I loved was that after that we just sat there looking to each others eyes.. Whispering things to each other, caressing each other.. I think she knows I love her.. Because my eyes are screaming that to her.. That she is my one and only.. Too soon? No. Because when you find that someone you feel something boiling inside of you. You just know that he or she is your other half.. And I want Ashley to be my forever..

She fell asleep in my arms and I was there to feel her inhale and exhale.. To feel her heart beats.. I couldn't sleep and all I could do was look at her.. She was mine.. And I was hers.. And I had to leave her because the sun was rising and the day was there..

I tried not to wake her up.. She was still sleeping. I kissed her forehead whispered I love you.. She couldn't hear it after all but I wanted to tell her.. I found a white paper and started to write her…

_Good morning baby.._

_When you will read this I will be out there thinking of you.. Last night was amazing one more time.. Today is the day baby.. I want you to know that I am yours and today I will be officially yours.. No Aiden. Just us.. I didn't want to wake you up because you were so beautiful while sleeping.. I will find you inside the ice-skate rink.. You heart will be the only one I will hear.._

_Kisses,_

_Spencer.._

I took my clothes and headed for my room.. Not before I stood at the door watching her naked form on her bed.. I blew her a kiss, whispering one more time that I love her and closed the door…

"Spencer?"

"Jenna?"

"Hi"

"Hi"

"Ehm.. see you later eh?"

"Yeah.. she you later.."

"Be safe Spencer.."

"You too.."

Ok. FUCK.. She saw me walking out of Ashley's room. Did she know that it was Ashley's though? And she didn't say anything else.. Ok.. Not a good start.. Not a fucking good start of a day..

I run to my room, closed the door and started to panic.. Ok.. Relax.. Today you would tell Aiden for you and Ashley.. Ok.. Relax..

After what seemed a century but it was two hours I was relaxed and prepared to rock.. Aiden didn't bother me again and I was feeling ok with that.. I was searching for my bag when I heard my phone ringing..

"Yes?"

"Hello to you too.." I was so in a hurry that I didn't check the ID. But that voice.. I would recognized it immediately..

"Sorry baby.. I was just in a hurry.."

"Ok.. I just wanted to say good luck and I loved your letter.. I woke up and you weren't next to me.."

"I didn't want to wake you up. It was still too early for you.."

"I love it when you care for my needs.."

"What can I say? I am the one to please.."

"Are you ready for today?"

"Yes. I am not anxious at all.."

"That's good. Ok.. Now go get ready. I will be there watching you.. Kisses baby"

"Bye Ash.. See you there.."

See you there baby.. You will be the one that I will search for…

My team was already downstairs and it's the first time I saw Aiden since two days ago.. He had a sad smile once he looked at me.. Today I will break up his heart..

"Hey Spence"

"Hey Aid,"

"Are we ready?"

"Of course."

"That's good to know."

Awkward. Yes. That was it.. Awkwardness..

We got to the stadium and now I was waiting for our time to come.. Now I was getting anxious.. Aiden was sitting next to me and he was holding my hand like everything was fine. But it wasn't.. Not really.. And that's when I heard our names and it was our turn.. I didn't even see how that last pair was.. I was lost in thoughts..

We skated to the middle of the rink and I was searching for Ashley.. I found her one more time, we took our bow and started our program..

At first everything seemed to be ok.. We were synchronized but when the time came to do the toe loops, triple axel and everything that had to do with me and Aiden I did everything wrong.. I was looking at Aiden and all I could see was Ashley.. I tried to concentrate but it was difficult. I fell two times and I was starting to get frustrated. I kept standing up but now everything was lost.. Aiden was looking at me and I.. everything is so wrong.. We finished our program and I was ashamed.. I wasn't myself. It was someone else.. It wasn't me.. I didn't wait for Aiden to follow me. I skated to the exit, angry.. Alexei was looking at me. Aiden was looking at me.. My team was looking at me.. And I was the only one that didn't want to see myself..

We waited for our score and I didn't expect miracles.. I fucked up. And once again I lost my gold.. Score.. 3.9, 4.0, 4.2, 4.0, 3.5.. I guess I deserved that..

I was so angry.. So angry with myself. With Aiden. With Ashley. With everyone.. I didn't want to speak with anyone.. But I guess that was a mindful thinking because I had two people running behind me..

"Spencer.. Just fuck.. Wait.. Spencer"

"What do you want Aiden?"

"What did happen out there?"

"We lost the gold. That what happened out there"

"Spencer.."

"WHAT? WHAT AIDEN?"

"Tell me.."

"What do you want me to tell you Aiden? That I fucked up? That I wasn't concentrated? That I was looking at you and it was another's one's face I was looking?"

"Spencer what you are saying?"

"Aiden.. I am not in love with you.. I wasn't in love with you ever.."

"Spencer what are you saying?"

"Something I had to say a long time ago"

"Who is he? Where did you meet him? That's why you didn't want to have sex with me?"

"It's a she not a he."

"WHAT? Are you fucking kidding me? It is her.. Isn't it? She changed you"

"She didn't change me Aiden.."

"SHE DID"

We were not alone.. Everyone was there watching us.. It was something we needed to finish somewhere else but not here..

"Aiden.."

"Get the fuck away from me. I can't believe you."

"Aiden.. I didn't want to.."

"You fucked her?"

"Aiden.."

"Did you fuck her?"

"Aiden.."

"TELL ME"

"Yes. Ok?"

"Wish you all the best.. But when she leaves you don't come back to me begging to take you back. Because you are not gay Spencer.. You are just experimenting with her.."

"No.. It's not true.."

"Believe what you want.. Go to your lover.. I am guess she will be happy that she can have you now and toss you later. Because that's what she does best. From what I heard.."

"Aiden.. please.."

"Don't come closer Spencer because right now you don't want to know what I am thinking.."

I let him leave and I just stood there alone.. My entire team behind me and not only.. I guess now everyone know and I will the new topic of discussion.. All I want right now is to be alone..

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**TBC**

**Wow.. The longer chapter I have ever written.. Hope you didn't get bore reading it..**

**Reviews are always welcome..**

**xx**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hope you had a great weekend.. Mine is over.. Unfortunately.. here is the next chapter..**

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**Chapter 12**

Everything is a lie.. Everything was a lie.. All these are not real.. No.. I must be dreaming and if it's a dream I want to wake up right now.. What did just happen?

Aiden's words sound still in my ears.. _'__I am guessing she will be happy that she can have you now and toss you later. Because that's what she does best. From what I heard..' _I couldn't answer him back because I was still speechless of what I heard.. That Ashley is not my Ashley.. She did everything for me to feel safe.. She couldn't do that to me.. Or would she?

I was so deep in thoughts of the past events that I didn't sense that someone was there with me.. Well I am sure that everyone knows by now that I left Aiden, and that I fucked Ashley.. But I could feel this person staring at my back, I could feel its piercing eyes.. When I turned my head to see who that was I came face to face with Ashley.. What she was doing here? How she got here? And the most important how long she was here? Because Aiden said a lot of things and Ashley seemed troubled..

We stared each other but no one could speak first.. I had to make the first move because Ashley was standing still and looked at me like she was seeing me for the first time..

"Ash.." she didn't say anything and I knew that we both had to ask some questions. But now was the right time? "Ash what are you doing here?"

"I saw you and I saw your performance. When you fell two times and left frustrated from the stadium I wanted to make sure that you were ok."

"I am not ok. Do I look like someone who is ok?"

"I can see that"

"How long you've been here?"

"Long enough"

"I told Aiden"

"That's what I heard" why we feel awkward between us? Why do I feel like I don't know her and now it's the first time I am meeting her?

"That's all you have to say?"

"What do you want me to tell you Spence?"

"I don't know. Something. You heard me talking with Aiden."

"Yes, I did. And he said very interesting things I might say" here we come. The questions. Will we be ready to answer them though? And what if we don't like them. What are we doing then?

"Care to share?"

"Am I just an experiment for you Spencer?" straight to the point.. I like you Ashley Davies.. So very much..

"What do you think?"

"I am asking you. You tell me. I know who I am. So what am I to you?"

"Do you want to know what you mean to me? If you are just an experiment to me?"

"Yes, I would like to know please"

"First I would like for you to tell me that. What am I to you? Another conquest of yours? Someone you thought you would have fun with? Answer me that and then I will answer your question..

"That's what you think? That you are another conquest of mine? Nice Spencer.. I thought you knew me better than that. Sure we don't know each other for long but I want to think that I know you.. That I understand you.. And if you think like that then clearly you don't know me at all.. I thought you were different"

"Then you have your answer"

"What do you mean?"

"You asked me if you were just an experiment for me. Now you have your answer.. If you think you know me you wouldn't ask me that.."

"I think I got my answer"

"And I think I got mine"

"I wanted to make sure you were ok. You seem ok. So.. bye Spencer"

"Thank you for thinking of me.. Bye Ashley"

What the fuck? Are we for real? Did she just leave me hanging without knowing what the fuck answer she got? Before we start this conversation I had one question and now I have millions.. Ashley Davies.. I wanted to tell her that she isn't an experiment for me.. She is my everything.. That I love her and I am in love with her.. She is not my experiment.. But I didn't say that to her.. I left her there thinking that maybe she was.. And she left me here wondering what did she mean.. And now I feel alone.. And not because I lost my gold, not because I lost Aiden.. Because I think I lost Ashley.. And it's cold.. And my heart starts to freeze again..

I was still in the stadium.. I couldn't leave. Not yet.. I stayed there till it was time to turn off the lights.. I couldn't go to my room and think of what I lost.. So I stayed there for a little while when someone I didn't expect came closer to me.. A friend I used to have..

"Spencer? What are you doing still here?"

"Jenna.."

"Are you feeling ok? You don't seem like you are ok"

"I am not"

"Do you want some company?"

"Please.. Be my guest.. I could use a friend now"

"I will stay as long you want me to"

"Why are you being friendly with me?"

"Because for me Spence our friendship meant a lot more that you think. I know you are not a bad person and you didn't kill my mother. So why hate you?"

"Because everyone does"

"Not me." She said and she took my hand in hers. Jenna was a true friend. The one I always separated from the others. And the one I wish I didn't have pushed away..

"Thank you Jenna. It means a lot"

"You are welcome. If you want to talk you know I am here. Ok?" I am sure she knew what happened between Aiden and I. I am sure she heard of Ashley and I but she didn't say anything and I respected her even more..

"Jenna.. I don't know what to do"

"About Aiden or Ashley Davies?"

"Ashley"

"Well.. I don't know the whole story but for you to feel like this must be strong and true. What did happen?"

"Aiden thinks that I am just experimenting with her and he told me that I was another conquest of Ashley's Davies. Then I confronted Ashley about this and I think that we misunderstood each other because she left me Jenna."

"How do you feel about her?" she was keeping asking me about Ashley like she was asking me about Aiden. Why she didn't freak out?

"I think I love her"

"You think or you do?"

"I do. I love her."

"So this is your answer. Go and find your girl and make her understand that"

"Jenna.. Can I ask you something?"

"Of course"

"Why are you ok with all this? Why you didn't freak out?"

"Why should I? You did nothing wrong. Love is love no matter what the gender is. And I know.." she looked at me and I wasn't sure but I think I knew what she meant by that.. Was she gay?

"You know?"

"I feel the same for you Spencer. I always felt that with you.. You were my first crush. When we were little I wanted to spend all my time with you. But I was young and I didn't know what that meant. But while growing I could see you and I just would feel warm inside. No other boy did that for me. Then I realised some things for myself. I knew I could never have you. So I only hoped for you to be my friend again. But you were so close but too far away from everyone"

"I don't know what to say Jenna"

"Don't say anything. I want to be your friend again Spencer. And I found someone special for me."

"What is her name?"

"Her name is Summer Walters"

"The Summer Walters? Like the Summer Walters the gold medallist on ski?"

"Yes, that would be her"

"I am so glad for you Jenna."

"Seems that both our girls are gold medallists?"

"Yes, they are"

"So.. friends?"

"Friends"

"Go find your girl Spence and let her know how you feel"

"Thank you Jenna. For everything"

"That's what friends are. Now go.."

"See you tomorrow?"

"Yes, you will"

Jenna. A friend I thought I lost but she was there all the time. And I so needed her this time.. My thoughts are going back to Ashley and what I need to tell her.. Ashley..

I run to our hotel to search for Ashley.. I tried to call on her cell but she didn't answer.. I guess she didn't want to talk and I understood that. So I did what I thought the best.. I knock her room's door. I guess she was inside.. It was late after all.. I knocked and knocked but no one answered me.. I thought she wasn't inside but when I moved from the door I heard giggling and voices.. One of Ashley's I am sure and one of a man's.. I put my ear on the door to hear what was going on inside.. I couldn't hear that well because Ashley's bed were too far away from the door and they whispered.. Damn.. who is inside and why Ashley is laughing with him.. Him.. A boy.. Before I knock again I heard something..

"_Come on.. You know you want it as much as I want it too.."_

"_No.. I said no.. "_

"_You asked me here.. "_

"_Could you please leave? "_

"_No. "_

Ashley.. what is happening? Does he want to force himself on her? I knock the door again harder this time and I hear Ashley..

"_Let me.. "_

"_No.. You are here with me. You wanted me you will have me.. "_

"_Help.. Someone.. Ahhh "_

He slapped her.. He slapped Ashley.. I took my phone from my pocket to call Steve but I couldn't reach him.. Fuck

"Ashley? I am here baby.. Ashley? Can you hear me?"

"Spence.. Help"

"_Shut up bitch. I will show you how a real man is"_

"Open the door. Ashley.. let her go.. Ashley.." I yelled so much that my throat hurt.. I was screaming and crying.. I couldn't help her.. I would be a witness of Ashley's rape.. Oh, my God.. "Assshhleeey.."

"Spencer? What is going on?"

"Aiden?"

"I heard you screaming" Aiden.. I thank you God..

"Ashley.. She is in there and someone is trying to rape her.." after what happened I am not that sure what he will do. Maybe he will say 'go fuck yourself Spencer'. Before I think anything else Aiden was knocking the door with all his strength.. He was strong and the door wasn't.. He was inside.. We were inside.. And what I saw disgusted me.. This other guy had his pants down and had Ashley beneath him..

Aiden didn't wait.. He punched the guy on his face and I run to Ashley's side.. She was crying and she seemed so broken.. My strong girl was crying and it was his fault..

"Leave before I hit you harder and have someone arrest you.." the guy with a broken nose left the room and now we were Aiden, Ashley and I.

"Ashley are you ok? Do you want me to ask for a doctor?" Ashley didn't speak. She just was in sock after all this.. So I answered on her behalf..

"Aiden, please call someone to check her.."

"NO. I.. am.. ok.. please. No" she was shaking and I was so angry of that guy.. I wanted to kill him for what he did to her..

"But Ash.. are you sure?" She reached for my hand and I saw the pleading in her eyes.

"I am sure.. Could you please stay?"

"Of course" Aiden was still here, watching us. I know it was too much for him but I thank him for what he did.. I stood up to go to his side and thank him.. Ashley was looking at us and Aiden was looking at me.. I kissed his cheek.. It was the least I could do.. He saved Ashley and that's what matters for me..

"Thank you Aiden."

"You are welcome"

He looked one more time between Ashley and I and left us alone.. Ashley seemed lost and I wanted nothing more to find her and bring her back.. All I could do for now was just to be there for her and hug her..

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**TBC**

**Well.. what do you think? Hope you liked it.. So.. tomorrow another update..**

**Reviews are always welcome..**

**xx**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey guys.. Monday.. Do I have to say again that I HATE Mondays??? I do.. I do.. I do.. Enough with me whining.. Enjoy the new chapter..**

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**Chapter 13**

When Aiden left us I stayed with Ashley as she asked me to. Like I would leave her.. I couldn't stand seeing her like this.. I wanted to ask her why but in her condition I didn't know if it was appropriate.. My mind was going back to the guy I saw her with.. Who was that? What he wanted with Ashley? My Ashley? And did Ashley tell him to come with her? Because I remember him telling her that.. That she asked for him.. That she initiated.. And if she did.. Why??

"Spence?"

"Yes?"

"I am sorry.. For everything"

"Sss.. It's nothing.. Go to rest and we talk in the morning. Are you sure you are fine? Do you want for me to ask for someone?"

"No. I am fine. Can't you just stay with me tonight? If you want.."

"Of course Ash.."

We stayed there, me looking at Ashley's back.. I so wanted to hug her but I didn't know if she was ok with the act.. She almost was raped and I knew it was difficult for her.. But Ashley is Ashley.. And she surprised me one more time by turning her face to look at me and she hugged me.. I could feel her head on my neck.. We were like one.. And I just wanted to do the same for her.. I hug her back and we fell asleep.. I guess tomorrow it's another day..

I woke up in morning and I couldn't feel her.. I opened my eyes and she wasn't next to me..

"Ash?" and I then I saw her.. She was in the balcony although it was freezing out there.. I stood up and went to find her.. She seemed lost in thoughts because she didn't noticed I was there.. I hug her from behind and she just leaned further in me..

"Spence?"

"Yes, baby"

"Can we please talk?" I was afraid. What did she mean by talk?

"Whatever you want.. Do you want to come inside? It's really cold out here.."

"Yes. Show me the way"

We got inside and I was cold not because of moments before that we were out.. My hands were cold, my heart was pumping fast and I was awaiting for Ashley to talk to me..

"Spence.. I want to talk for yesterday.. What you saw last night.."

"Ash.."

"Let me finish.. I was stupid, I was angry and I was wasted. I was thinking of you and what you said, of what Aiden said and I.. I was angry Spence.. I was angry with you.."

"And you thought that the best was to go and find some guy to fuck?"

"You don't understand.."

"Then make me.. Tell me why you had the need to fuck someone else"

"I just wanted to forget and I wanted someone that wouldn't remind me of you."

"A boy.."

"Yes, he was someone from my team"

"No, need to know"

"I want you to know that when we got inside we started kissing but when I saw that he wasn't you I couldn't.. I told him to stop and then you came.."

"Don't want to remember that.."

"Spence you were here.. You were here when I needed you the most.."

"And I am glad for that.. But Ash.. you were with another guy.."

"I was angry.."

"Me too.. But I didn't go to find someone else to not remind me of you.. I sat all alone to think what we said to each other.. But obviously you had another thought.. Maybe Aiden was.."

"Don't.. You know it's not true.."

"Ash.. you were here with another guy.. Kissing.. What do you want me to think about you?"

"Spence.. I want you and only you.. I was angry because you believed of Aiden and you didn't believe me.. You could never be a conquest of mine.. With you I feel things I never left with no one else.. And it makes me sad.. If you think like that for me.. For us.."

"And you are not an experiment for me.. Ash.. you are the only woman I let my eyes on.. I never looked someone as I look at you.. I gave myself to you and you thought that you were an experiment? I would never use you like that.."

" I guess Aiden's words were deep.."

"They were.. I hurt him very bad.."

"I am surprised he helped me yesterday"

"Me too.. I could never expect that from him"

"He is a good guy after all."

"He is"

"So.. are we ok?"

"If by ok you mean that we answered to each other's questions then we are ok.. But I keep thinking of you with that guy Ash.."

"Spence.. please.. It meant nothing.. I was so wasted.. Please.. I promise it is you and only you.. I don't want to lose you now that I found you.."

"I don't want to lose you either"

"So.. are we ok? Like ok ok?"

"We are ok. But if I ever.."

"Not even a chance.. I promise you.. Now.. can I kiss you?"

"If you don't I will.."

Ashley Davies.. The sun to my frozen heart.. The sun to my rain.. Ashley Davies..

I was kissing her.. It was sensual .. Like we didn't kiss each other for a year.. We could feel each other's want to our kisses.. She wanted me as much as I wanted her.. When we were on a heavy make out session I stopped just to tease her.. She looked at me and I could read the question in her eyes 'what is wrong?'

"You know what?"

"What? Did I do something wrong?"

"Yes, you did" I said with a very firm attitude..

"I am sorry Spence.. Whatever it is, I am sorry"

"You asking me to forgive you without knowing what you did wrong?"

"Ehmm.."

"Ashley Davies, I lost the gold for you.. I lost the gold one more time and it is your fault"

"I.. I.. don't.. know what to say" I am a good actor.. Maybe I leave ice skating and follow an acting career.. Yeah right.. Like I would ever do that..

"You are cute when you are frustrated.."

"Spencer Carlin, are you making fun of me?"

"Well.. it is true you know.. I lost my focus with Aiden and I lost my gold because of you.. I was seeing you when I was with Aiden and that was frustrating.." she was serious again and from her look I could sense that what she was going to say would be true.. I knew how to read her eyes..

"I am really sorry Spence.."

"I am not.." I wasn't.. I should be for losing but I won Ashley.. And for once in my life I didn't care to be the first..

"Now where we left this hot make out session?"

"I think I remember"

I leaned her back to the bed and I was on top of her.. We were still wearing our clothes from last night but I think that in less that five minutes we will both naked.. Because I missed her body.. I missed being inside of her.. And I missed her inside me..

I started kissing her behind her weak spot.. Behind her ears.. I was kissing and biting her earlobe.. She moaned my name and I was starting to feel things down to my centre.. I took of her shirt and I had her with only her bra.. I continue kissing her, trailing my kisses all over her upper body. I was getting down on her.. I unbuttoned her jeans and I took them off.. Ashley Davies is amazing and is mine..

I had her beneath me only with her underwear.. She wouldn't be in them for long.. I took off her bra and tossed it with her eyes clothes.. Ashley naked infront of me.. I could feel my mouth dry only by looking at her.. I took one last look of her and I was attacking her breasts.. Those firm breasts of hers.. My mouth licking and sucking her right nipple while my left hand was caressing her left.. It's amazing when the one you love moans your name.. And Ashley moaning my name was definitely a turn on..

I was getting down on her ready to take off her panties.. She was trembling and I loved her even more.. Knowing that I, Spencer Carlin, could make the Ashley Davies tremble it felt good.. But she did the same for me.. She made feel things that Aiden never made me feel.. Ashley and I these last days had sex.. A lot.. But I never got down on her.. You know.. And she didn't ask me to.. She was satisfied only with my fingers.. But today I wanted to taste her.. I wanted to feel her..

I tossed her panties and I had her as I wanted her.. Naked.. I was kissing inside her thighs and I think that was turning her even more.. She opened and closed her legs and I knew she needed me.. And she would have me.. I was kissing her leaving wet kisses with my tongue inches away from her heated centre.. All I could hear was my name escaping from her lips.. And then without telling her or asking her with my eyes I was inside her with my tongue.. She flinched at what I did but she didn't say anything.. She didn't try to stop me and I continued what I started.. I was licking slowly from her down to her clit.. She was so wet and all I did was kissing her.. And she tasted so good…She had her hands on my hair whispering incoherent words I couldn't understand.. I played with her clit with my tongue circling it and sucking it.. And then it was when I entered her with two of my fingers.. Her walls were starting to tighten over my fingers and I knew that in a moment she would come.. I kept thrusting her in and out, my tongue never leaving her clit.. That's when I heard her screaming my name..

"Oh.. God.. Spence.. SPENCE.. Baby.. Oh.. God.."

"I want you to come for me baby.."

"SPENCE.. Ahh.. Gooodddd…"

Well.. we didn't have a problem with coming.. I always did with Ashley and she did the same but I think that I gave her a fucking good orgasm.. And all with my tongue.. There is another first with Ashley..

"Baby.. what you did to me.. was.. I don't have words.. Are you sure you never been with a woman before?"

"I am sure as I know I didn't get my gold" I am funny.. Spencer Carlin can be funny..

"Well baby let me tell you that you have a talent with your tongue.. I give you your gold now"

"Well if you say so.. I accept it my dear.."

That night didn't finish like that.. Ashley made love to me and made me come three times.. She says that I am good? What is better than gold? Because I want to give it to her.. She is fucking amazing with her fingers and tongue and everything.. She is intoxicating in every sense..

And let me tell you something else.. Making up sex is the best.. But only if you love the other so much.. And I love Ashley very much.. Hope she loves me too.. But we are not there yet.. It is too soon for us to spell these word to one another.. But I have this feeling that maybe she feels the same for me.. She shows that every time we are together, she tells me that with her eyes.. Maybe she is afraid as I am.. But we have all the time on our side.. It is too soon..

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**TBC**

**My shorter chapter till now but yet it's an update after all.. Hope you liked it..**

**Reviews are always welcome..**

**xx**


	14. Chapter 14

**Well.. I didn't expect people from my country to be here and read my story so let me greet them in our language «Γεια σας παιδιά». I just said hi to them.. So thank you again for reading and reviewing.. It means a lot..**

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**Chapter 14**

The Winter Olympics were still on.. We were at the beginning and we had 16 days left.. 16 days to be with Ashley.. For us to be together.. What we were doing next I don't really know.. Where are we going to be? Are we going to be together? I am not even out to my parents.. What am I going to tell them?? And I leave in Ohio.. And Ashley lives.. I don't know where she lives.. We are together like five days and I can't believe that I don't know where she lives..

After the night I had with Ashley we were still on her bed.. I was looking at her while she was sleeping.. My new favorite thing.. She is so beautiful when she sleeps.. If she woke up now she would think that I am a perv looking her like that.. But I can't.. She is amazing.. I don't know where we are going to be but for now I know that I want Ashley and nothing else..

"Why are looking at me?" She said while she had her eyes closed and a huge grin on her face.. How she knew I was looking at her..

"I am not looking at you.. Don't be so full of yourself.."

"Yeah, right.."

"What do you want to me to tell you Ash..?"

"Hmm.. That you were looking at me.."

"Ok, ok.. Jesus.. I was looking at you.. Ok?"

"Thank you.."

"Yeah yeah.. You are so full of yourself.."

"That's why you love me" once she said that she froze and she turned her face to look at me.. I loved her.. I did.. But is it the right time to tell her that? And I didn't even say 'I love you'. She said that for me… "I am sorry Spence.. I didn't mean to.."

"It's ok.."

"I am really sorry.. You don't have to.." but I want to..

"It's ok baby.. I love the modesty of yours.. I wouldn't changed it.."

"Yeah, your girl can be modest if she wants to.." she seemed more relax.. I wanted to tell her that 'I love you and your modesty'.. That I love all of her.. That I just love her..

"So what are we doing today?"

"We are not doing anything.. I am sorry baby but our coach wants us to say some last things to us.. Will you forgive me? I so want to be with you all day, sitting right here, under the covers, naked.."

"Ok.. if you continue I won't let you out of this room.. But it's ok.. I know how that is.." I said with a sad face.. I wanted to be with her.. She became my drug.. I wanted to see her, to feel her, to hold her.. I don't know were we are going with all this but we have to find out because it becomes more difficult..

"Will you come tomorrow and see me?"

"Baby I have tickets only for semi finals and finals.. I want to but what if I can't?"

"Don't worry.. I have my sources.. Tomorrow at 12.00 is the Cross Qualification and if I pass I am going to Cross Quarterfinals at 14.25 and then the Cross Semifinals at 14.40 and then the Finals at 14.50.. And then…"

"Ash.. I will come ok.. I have my tickets for Semifinals and Finals.."

"Perfect.. Then I have to get you to see the other as well.. I want you to be there Spence.."

"I want that to.. All these years I was watching you from a tv.. Now I want to see you live.. So do your best ok?? Go get ready and meet with your team.."

"Care to share a shower with me?"

"Tempting.. But no.."

"Awww.. come on baby.. We can save water that way."

"Go inside.. I will wait for you and then I am going to my room.."

She stood there looking at me.. Telling me with her eyes to change my mind.. But we both knew that if we were to have a shower together she wouldn't go to meet her team.. I am just thinking of her..

She saw that I wasn't changing my mind so she pouted and got inside.. I imagined her naked, water dripping all over her body.. Her, touching herself.. I was so ready to throw my underwears and get inside with her.. But I couldn't.. My body though had a mind of each one because I found myself walking to the bathroom to find my beauty..

I could hear her sing.. She had a beautiful voice.. I was outside the shower when I tossed what I didn't wear and hoped inside.. She wasn't afraid.. It was like she was expecting me.. She turned her face and looked at me.. And I did the same.. I took her hands and placed them behind her head, kissing her neck and collarbone.. Water watering our bodies that were in touch.. Breast to breast, legs tangle with each other and two hearts beating so hard for each other.. It was a first to take Ashley in a shower but I guess with her I had and I hope I will have many firsts..

I made love to her right there.. After all night, I made love with Ashley once again.. When we both wore each other off for all the foreplays and love we got out from the shower.. She helped me with my towel and I helped her..

"I thought you didn't want for me to be late.."

"It is your fault.."

"How it is my fault baby?" she said so close whispering to my ear..

"You.. were.. naked.. all alone.. And I didn't want for you to feel alone.."

"Awww… how sweet.. I did feel alone.. I was rejected from my girlfriend.. I was sad actually.."

"Well good then that your girlfriend helped you with your sadness.."

"Yes, thank you lord.."

"My name is Spencer but you can call me Spence.."

"Har har"

"Go get ready.. I am going to my room.. When you will be back call me.. Ok??" we kissed till we need to breathe.. I left her to her room and I was feeling already empty..

And I forgot to ask her again where she lives.. I seem to forget the most important things when I am with her.. That's what she has done to me.. But I can't wait to see her tomorrow.. She is amazing and I know she will take the gold this year also..

I got to my room and since I already had a shower, a hot shower, I just sat there thinking of my girl.. I had the tv on to sports channel so I could see what is happening with the other sports again.. It was a first for me.. I didn't care for any other sport since Ashley.. And now I am changed once again..

I guess I fell asleep because when I opened my eyes it was dark outside and I heard my door.. I checked my watch and it was 8pm.. Did Ashley finish earlier and came to find me?? I hurried to the door hoping it was Ashley but I froze when I saw it was Aiden.. I hope this is good..

"Hey.. Can I come in?"

"Ehm.. yes.. I suppose" after the events that took place before our eyes, this between me and Aiden, felt awkward.. And it shouldn't be..

"Spencer.. can we talk?"

"Aiden.. I don't know if we have to say anything.."

"Spencer.. we were ok.. I thought we were ok.. And you tell me you never been in love with me. So what I was for you? Some guy to make fun with? Someone you need for cover of your gayness?" it wouldn't be easy and Aiden's words still sound to my ears.. And this time I won't let him tell me anything that has to do with me and Ashley..

"Aiden.. I was with you because I wanted to be with you.. I didn't use you as a cover as you may think.. But what I feel for Ashley is stronger than with that I feel for you.."

"So you are saying you like girls now?"

"I am saying I like a girl. Ashley.. And I liked her for a long time now" since he wants answers he will have them..

"What do you mean?"

"I fall in love with Ashley the moment I saw her winning that gold, four years ago.."

"So all this time.. you were playing with me? You were in love with her and you played the card 'I don't like her'.. Nice. Now I feel much better.."

"I am sorry Aiden but I can't lie anymore.."

"I can't believe this is happening.."

"I am sorry.."

"For what? For all being an act? For us losing the gold that you wanted so much? For what?"

"I guess for everything.. But I want to thank you for helping Ashley with that guy.." he changed immediately.. His characteristics softened and I knew he was the guy I could fall for.. If I wasn't in love with Ashley..

"I am not a monster Spencer.. I was harsh on you and Ashley.. The truth is that Ashley is a nice person and she doesn't toss her relationships.. I was angry.." ok.. Now I was the angry one.. Did he just say what I thought he said?

"Aiden.. do you know what you have done?? Because of you and what you said someone almost raped Ashley and we almost broke up"

"I.. I.. am sorry. But Spence.. How you expect me to accept everything? It's not that everyday your girlfriend comes and tells you that she is in love with another girl.."

"And you thought that the best was to seed questions to Ashley and me? I thought you were better than that.. You really disappointed me Aiden.."

"Spence.. You hurt me, I hurt you.. And now I am here to tell you sorry.."

"I don't know Aiden.."

"Spencer.. It was always you and me.. I don't understand you being with another girl but we were friends and then lovers.. I guess.. I can't take you out from my life and I don't want to.. Unless you tell me to.."

"Aiden.. I don't know what to say.."

"Just .. I want to be friends with you again.." and I needed Aiden.. Besides everything he was my best friend after all.. The only one I was talking to..

"Ok.. But you will try nothing against Ashley and I. Ok? And I want you to say sorry to Ashley.."

"What?? Why??"

"Because you said that she was just an experiment.. And she isn't.."

"But.."

"You will.."

"But.."

"No buts.. Ok?"

"I suppose"

We sat for a little while and talked about us.. The gold we lost because of me, Ashley, everything that mattered.. It was after 10pm when I told Aiden that I needed to get up early tomorrow. He was standing outside my door, looking back at me.. He wanted to ask me something.. I knew it.. I could read it in his eyes..

"Spence?"

"Yes?"

"Can I hug you please?"

"You don't have to ask" I hugged him and he hugged me back.. I could feel his heart beats.. When he pulled his arms he leaned closer to kiss me but I turned my face and he kissed my cheek..

"Aiden.. don't.. I am with Ashley.. Don't you ever forget that"

"I.."

"It is better if you leave now.. ok? We are ok.. Go and have some rest.."

"Spencer.."

"Goodnight Aiden.." Aiden was still there looking at someone who seemed familiar.. And she looked familiar because it was Ashley.. She was there looking at our public display of affection.. Well Aiden's public display of affection..

"Ashley?"

"Aiden?"

"Spencer?" we said unison. Ashley was looking at me asking me with her eyes so many questions and I knew what she was thinking.. And it wasn't true..

"Aiden.. can you please go?"

"Spencer??"

"Just leave Aiden.. Ashley please.. let me explain to you.." she still looked at me not saying anything.. Why with all the drama?? Why?? One minute we are ok and then someone comes on the way and destroy us..

"I don't think you need to explain anything Spencer.. I can see it for myself.."

"Ash.. please baby.. Come inside.. I can explain.. It's not what you think.." she tried to leave but I held her arm demanding her attention.. "Please.. I heard you when you wanted me to that for you.. Do that for me now.. Please.."

"Ok.. Start.."

I could read her so well.. But I am sure I will make her understand.. She didn't see me kissing Aiden.. She saw us hug each other.. And if she still believes what she thought she saw I will have to play the card with the drunk guy from the night before..

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**TBC**

**Well.. what can I say?? I like some drama.. Just a little.. Hope you liked it.. **

**Tomorrow i will not have an update.. So.. I am sorry for this.. But the day after tomorrow i will be back.. Stay with me.. Ok?  
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**Reviews are always welcome..**

**xx**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey guys.. I am back.. Sorry I couldn't upload yesterday.. Thank you again for reading, reviewing and putting my story to your favorites.. It means a lot!**

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**Chapter 15**

I believe that fate plays a big role to our lives.. Fate wanted for me to meet Ashley.. To look those chocolate eyes of hers and just fall for her.. I didn't expect that.. I didn't expect to be with her.. To love her as I do..

When everything seems to be ok though something comes in our way and question us again.. At first it was Aiden's words and now it is Aiden again.. Now that I think about it it is Aiden's fault.. But the truth is that I can't hate him.. I did something wrong.. Wrong for him but not for me.. And now Ashley is standing here, opposite of me, looking at me like she sees me for the first time.. And I hate that.. Hate is a big word and I don't use it often.. But I hate the situation we are.. And it is not my fault..

"Ok.. Start.." so faceless.. Aiden was still here watching us.. I needed to speak with Ashley alone and Aiden doesn't help the situation at all..

"Aiden.. please leave.. You make things worst"

"But Spencer.."

"AIDEN, GO" he didn't say anything else.. He looked at me one more time before he get inside his room.. Ashley looked everywhere but me.. Grrr.. She pisses me off..

"Ashley, can we please talk? We can go to your room"

"We can talk right here"

"Here, is not the right place.. Can we go please?? Please.." she didn't answer me back.. She turned her face from me and walked to her room.. I was following like a lost puppy.. I shouldn't feel sorry for something I haven't done.. And she is way too dramatic..

"Ok.. we are here.. I am listening"

"Could you please stop with the attitude?"

"What attitude? I don't know what you are talking about"

"That Ash.. That.. You know you didn't see anything.. Aiden was just hugging me and nothing else.."

"Yeah, right" she was passing her room up and down and she seemed very pissed. And if she is pissed then how should I feel?

"Sit down now." She stopped just to look at me.. I hadn't raised my voice that much ever again.. She could understand that she wasn't the only one who was angry.. She sat on an arm chair and looked at me again..

"He was coming outside of your room.. What did he want to your room at first place? Did you have make up sex? Did you kiss him just to feel better because you broke up with him? And I am the idiot who was coming to surprise you.. Seemed you had good company.. I am glad for you.." ok.. that's it.. She crossed the line..

"Seems that whatever I tell you you already made up your mind.. So I don't have anything else to say to you.." I wanted to cry so bad.. But I didn't want for her to see me.. I didn't turn back to see her face.. I opened the door and just said "Good luck for tomorrow"..

I didn't wait for her to speak.. I didn't wait for her to come behind me and say she was sorry for questioning me one more time.. I just walked to my room holding my tears till I was inside..

I don't know if we broke up.. I don't know what to believe anymore.. Ashley is someone I care so much but yet she hurt me in two days.. And she hurt me bad.. And I still love her.. And I can't take her off my mind.. I was hoping she would call or send a text.. But no.. She was way too selfish to do such a thing.. I know she was hurting because of what she have seen.. But I forgave her for what she did.. Why she just couldn't listen to me??

I really want to talk with someone.. I can't talk to my parents because.. well.. they don't know about me.. I can't speak to Aiden.. Obviously.. But I remember I did have someone.. Jenna.. I found her name on my cell and called her..

"Hello?"

"Hey Jenna.. It's me, Spencer"

"I know it's you Spencer.."

"Jenna? Ehm.. do you have something to do?"

"I was to go out with Summer.. Why? Do you want something?"

"Nah.. It's ok.. Go out with Summer.."

"Spencer.. Talk to me.. Is everything alright? Did something happened with Ashley?" and then I cried and I cried hard.. I couldn't even continue with Jenna.. She did all the talking.. "Spencer.. I will be there in 10 minutes.. Let me just call Summer and cancel our date.. Ok?"

"It's.. ok.. I.. am.. ok.."

"I will be there in a few.. Ok?"

"Thank you Jenna.."

"That's what friends for"

Jenna was at my room in five minutes.. I have to thank God for bringing her back to my life.. She was a nice person, with kind soul and Summer Walters is a very lucky girl..

"Ok.. Tell me everything."

I started telling her what happened after we said our goodbyes.. When I went to see Ashley.. What we did after and what happened later.. She was looking at me like she didn't believe it either.. And I was crying over her shoulder..

"She is an idiot"

"Jenna.."

"No, she is.. I am sorry Spencer.. Do you want me to slap her? I would be glad to.."

"Thank you.. But I don't want to hurt her.."

"Why didn't she let you tell her what happen?"

"She was angry and I guess afraid?"

"Again.. She had to listen to you.. And afraid of what? Aiden? Didn't she see how you look at her?"

"Did you see me?"

"Spencer.. It was way to obvious from the beginning"

"How?"

"Spencer.. I could see it like miles away.."

"That much eh? Jenna.. What should I do? She didn't call me or texted me.. Should I?"

"No. It is not your problem.. You told her what happened"

"Tomorrow it's her day.. And I wanted to see her.. She told me she could get me a pass so I could see her.. I have tickets for semifinals and finals.. But I wanted to see her Jenna.."

"I know you do.."

"What if she doesn't want me there? What I should do?"

"Really? I don't know.. What do you want to do?"

"I don't know.. Maybe I shouldn't go and distract her.. At least one of us should get the gold.. And I would be very proud of her.."

"Ok.. So what are you going to do?"

"I'll stay in and watch some tv.."

"Do you want company?"

"Thank you so much, but I believe you have a girlfriend and you cancelled her for me.." her phone started to ring and I saw her having a big smile on her face.. I guess I knew who that was..

"Hey baby.. Yes, I am still at Spencer's.. No.. she isn't ok.. Do you want to come here? Ok.. I'll see you then"

"Summer?"

"How did you know?" she said smiling..

"I don't know.. Right guess.."

"Do you mind? I told her to come.. I want you to meet her"

"It's not every day that you meet Summer Walters.. So.. no.. I don't have a problem.."

"She will be here in a few.. She is a very nice person Spencer"

"So do you"

We stayed there for a little while till Summer Walters knocked my door.. I was curious to meet her in person.. I heard she was a nice person.. I believe that's why Jenna was so over heels for her..

"Hi"

"Hi, I'm Spencer"

"Summer.. Nice to meet you Spencer"

"You too"

"Hey baby.. I missed you.." Jenna passed me to hug her girlfriend.. They were a matching couple.. They seemed like one.. Like me and Ashley.. Jenna was blond like me with green eyes.. Summer had a mediterranean beauty.. Dark hair with blue eyes.. What a combination.. She was very beautiful but Ashley was better..

"Baby.. I don't want for Spencer to see us like that for the first time" she whispered to Jenna placing a kiss on her neck.. "Sorry, Spencer for this PDA in front of you.. But we hadn't see each other from yesterday"

"It's ok guys.. Do you want to come in?"

"Of course…"

When we were inside Jenna was sitting on Summer's lap and they were looking each other like it was the end of the world.. Like they would never see each other again..

"Ehm.. sorry to interrupt guys.. Ehm.. how long you are together?"

"Four years tomorrow"

"Wow.. Four years? And how did you meet?"

"Winter Olympics"

"You met each other then? How?" Summer looking at Jenna narrate how they met.. I could see the love they shared with each other.. They were perfect..

"Well.. I remember.. That was the day I took the gold.. I was running to catch a friend and I pushed Jenna and she fell on the floor.. When I stepped to help her and say I was sorry she turned and I saw the most beautiful eyes I ever seen.. I lost myself in her..

"And I lost myself in you baby.." Jenna looked at her and kissed her tenderly on her lips..

"We stayed like that for I don't know, like 10 minutes.. I think that time stopped.. And all I could see was Jenna.. After that day we were inseparable.."

"But.. how? What about after the Olympics? I suppose you don't live in Ohio as Jenna"

"No.. I live in Colorado.."

"And how you managed to be together? Wasn't that difficult?"

"That's why I moved to Ohio to be with Jenna" wow.. I have nothing to say to that.. They are the perfect couple..

"Nice.."

"And Jenna told me about you and Ashley Davies.. Don't worry Spencer.. Everything will find their way.."

"I hope.. Thanks guys for being here tonight"

"Nothing" they said unison..

"Spencer.. I believe it is time for us to leave and let you rest.. Are you sure about tomorrow?"

"Yes.. I don't know if it is ok.."

"You know better.. Ok.. Up you go baby.. Bye Spencer.. If you want anything call me. Ok?"

"Thank you.. Both of you.."

"Anytime Spencer.. Nice meeting you.."

"You too Summer.. We can go out sometime"

"Sure.. Bye.."

And they left as they came.. With them I almost forgot about Ashley.. But now that I am alone again I think of her and what she is doing.. Does she think of me? Why did she have to be so selfish?

And tomorrow I only hope for her to be the best.. Besides everything I feel right now I want for her to be the best.. Maybe I won't be there to see her live but I will watch her from the tv.. As always..

Last night's dreams were of Ashley.. I woke up thinking of her and what this day will bring.. I know she starts at 12.. I have plenty of time.. I switched the tv to the local channel that shows all sport all day.. And now all I could do was to wait..

When the time showed 12 I had my eyes glued to the tv waiting to see my girl.. And I saw her.. She was amazing.. They showed her more than the others because clearly she was the winner four years ago.. I saw her face and she looked sad and frustrated.. Nervous some how.. I hope she will do fine.. I saw her with her coach.. He was telling her something.. She didn't seem to like it..

The Cross Qualification started and Ashley didn't have a good start.. She was staying behind.. She needed to be in the first two so she could continue.. One girl fell and now they were three.. Ashley gained her lead in the right corner and now she was second.. Good baby.. She finished second.. Four years ago she was the first in all.. When she was at the finish line she shacked hands with the other girl and left before anyone can talk to her.. And I think I saw Steve down there.. He was behind her.. I saw her look at the crowd like she was searching for someone.. Maybe me? But if she wanted me there why she didn't ask me?

The Quarterfinals started and now Ashley was at the first team.. I could see her again, being nervous.. Her coach behind her talking to her but she didn't listen to him.. She didn't start well again.. What is going on with her? She is the best of all of them.. Again a girl fall and Ashley was second one more time.. They were to finish when Ashley did a jump right before the finish line and fell backwards.. Oh, my God.. Ashley..

Her coach run to her and thank God she moved.. She was walking.. Thank you God.. Steve was running to her and they were talking.. I wish I knew what they were saying.. They had like 20 minutes till the Semifinals.. I hope she is ok..

I was waiting for the Semifinals to start when I heard my cell that I had in charge.. I saw the ID and it was Steve.. Thank God..

"Steve?"

"Spencer.. Hey.. I have someone here who wants to talk to you" I was curious..

"Sure.."

"Spence?" Ashley..

"Ash?"

"I am sorry.. I am so so sorry baby.. Please come here.. I need you here baby.. I am so so sorry for everything.."

"Are you ok? Do you hurt somewhere?"

"Ehm?"

"I saw you Ash.. You fell and it was hard.. Do you hurt baby?"

"I hurt because you are not here.. Please come here"

"I will be there baby.. I am coming.. Ok? I will be there"

"Steve will be there to take you inside.. Ok? You will come.. Eh?"

"Yes.. I will be there in 15 minutes"

"Spence.."

"Yes?"

"I.."

"It's ok Ash.. See you there.. Ok?"

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**TBC**

**Well.. what is going to happen next? I don't know either.. Let's find out tomorrow..  
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**Reviews are always welcome..**

**xx**


	16. Chapter 16

**Friday at last (although for me is finished).. Hope you have a great weekend!!**

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**Chapter 16**

If you love someone can you forget if something bad happened between the two of you? If you love someone can you forget if they cheated on you? If you love someone can you forgive?

Can I forgive Ashley for not letting me explain to her what happened? Can I forgive her for not believing in me? The answer is yes.. Because I care so much and because I love her.. And I want to see if she is ok because of that fall she had.. I just need to go and be next to her.. Some things you can forgive and some other not.. This time Ashley is forgiven..

After Steve's call I ran immediately to were Ashley was.. It wasn't that far and I would be there in less than 15 minutes.. Right on time to see her on Semifinals.. It is crazy.. I lost the gold because I was seeing Ashley and not Aiden and now Ashley can't be herself on the snow if I am not there for her.. We are quite a couple.. Me and Ashley.. It sounds good.. It sounds right..

Steve was outside waiting for me.. Once he saw me he ran to my side and gave me the pass to go in.. I couldn't see Ashley because she was already up there to the start..

"Spencer.. I am so happy you are here.. Ashley needed you.."

"It's ok Steve.. I thought that if I were to be here I would distracted her but I guess I was wrong.."

"She was lost.. She is the best here and two times she was second and she fell.. Ashley never falls.."

"How she will know I am here?"

"Let's call our coach.." he put out his cell and dialed a number.. Of course it wasn't Ashley's.. "Mits.. tell Ashley, Spencer is here.. Yes.. Ok.. Good luck"

"Where are we going now?"

"Finish line waiting for our girl"

"Steve? Does she hurt? She had a very hard fall"

"She is the strongest girl I ever seen.. But she has only one weakness"

"Ashley? What weakness?"

"You Spencer.. You are her kryptonite.."

"I.. I am? She didn't tell me.."

"That's Ashley.. She hides her emotions but with you she just can't.. Now.. let's see.. They start"

Steve was a nice guy.. I am glad Ashley had him in her life.. And what he said made me think even more of Ashley.. What other things Ashley wants to tell me and she doesn't?

Semifinals started and Ashley was doing good.. She was first and she was perfect.. That is her sport.. That's why she is the queen of snow.. It was right before the last turn that we were able to see her.. She did a great jump and she finished first.. My girl finished first.. I am so proud of her..

She greeted the other opponent and she came to where we were.. Her coach hugged her, Steve hugged her, her teammates hugged her but her eyes were glued to me.. And I just was looking at her amazed of the one and only Ashley Davies..

"You did great Ash.."

"Spence.. you came.."

"I told you I would.."

"Thank you.."

"You are welcome"

"Spence... I am sorry.. I am so sorry.. I am an idiot.."

"Yes, you are.. But still you are my idiot" her sad face lighten in a second and she gave me that smile I love.. That was my Ashley..

"Am I still your 'idiot'?" I believe that by idiot she was saying girlfriend.. And of course she was..

"You are still my 'idiot' Ash.." she came closer and placed her hands behind my back, holding tight like I would leave her.. We were lost to each other's arms and we couldn't hear anyone else beside each other.. Ashley looked at me and she kissed me on my lips.. I didn't know, till now, how I missed her kisses.. We were kissing so softly and I just didn't want to let her go.. I needed her..

"Ehem.. sorry to interrupt but Ashley we have to go.. Finals starting in 10 minutes.. Spencer I suppose?"

"Yes, sorry.. Mits I suppose?"

"That would be me.. Once we finish you can come with the team.. I am sure Ashley would love it.."

"Mits.. you are an ass.. But Spence.. it's true.. I would love for you to come with us.. So.. will you?"

"Of course Ash.. Now both of you.. Go.. And bring that gold.. Ok?"

"Promise.. One last kiss for good luck?"

"How can I resist to that? If it is for a good luck.." I kissed her one more time and I saw her with Mits and the other girls to leave.. I am so nervous to see what is going to happen..

I was next to Steve as before.. Waiting.. We could see them for a large screen they had.. Ashley was number two.. They showed all girls and then bam.. They left..

Ashley was first and behind her was the Canada girl.. She was extremely good as Ashley.. They were like seconds apart.. One bad move of Ashley and she will get the silver.. It's not bad of course to be placed as the second best.. But I want for her to get the gold.. The one I didn't..

They were in the last turn right before finish line.. I was afraid of Ashley's jump but she did another great one and she finished FIRST.. Oh, my God she finished first.. She won the gold once again.. Ashley Davies, my girl..

Steve was hugging me, I was hugging him and everyone greeted of Ashley.. Why shouldn't they? She was perfect.. She is the best for a reason.. Once she signed some autographs Ashley came to us.. She run to my arms and hugged me till I couldn't breathe.. I could die for Ashley's hugs at any time..

"Baby.. I won"

"I saw that.. You won baby.."

"Actually we won.."

"What do you mean?"

"Spence.. if you weren't here with me I wouldn't.. You were the reason for me winning.. And I am glad you were here baby.. Because I need you so much.. And I realized that.. that.. I love you.." did she just say that she love me?

"Ash.."

"It's ok.. You don't have to say that back. I just wanted for you to know how I feel about you.. I know I am an idiot, and jealous over nothing, and.." and I stopped her by kissing her once again.. It's the only way to stop her and I love it..

"I love you too.."

"You do?"

"I think I loved you the first time I saw you.." and I think I did.. When I saw her something skipped inside me.. Like something awoke from lethargy..

When you love someone deeply and they love you back it is something amazing.. I was afraid of telling her I love her.. I was afraid of her answer.. What if she didn't love me back? And she said she loved me first.. That I didn't expect.. But either way the point is that Ashley loves me and I love her.. Do we need anything else?

"Hey girls.. Are you ready?" Steve.. I like this boy very much.. I think that I know why Ashley loves him so much..

"For what?"

"Ash.. I think that Spencer makes you forget.. One.. You are the GOLD medal winner baby.. Two.. We are going out tonight to celebrate.."

"Oh, yes.. Sorry Steve but us girls we want to change first if you don't mind.."

"If by change you meen sex forget it.." ok.. now I was red.. I think I might have a stroke or something.. My sexual life with Ashley is something we keep between us..

"Ewww Steve.. Whatever fantasy you have forget it.. And we wouldn't have sex" thank you Ash.. "We would made love if you want to know" not better..

"Love, sex.. call it as you want it.. Be down in half an hour.. So if you are going for a quickie you may leave now.."

"Stev-.."

"Bye Steve.. We will meet you guys downstairs.."

I didn't let Ashley finish because I knew her.. She didn't want to leave anything without her having the last word..

"Why you didn't let me finish Spence?"

"Because if I hadn't we wouldn't have that quickie" I said laughing.. She had a serious face.. I thought she would laugh.. "Hey.. what's wrong?"

"Spence.. You mean so much for me.. You are not just sex for me.. You are not quickies.. Everything we did was out of love.. My love for you.. I hope you know that.."

"Baby.. did you think that I was mad because of what Steve told us?" she didn't say anything but I knew it was that.. "Baby.. I would never think something like that for you ever.. You are the most thoughtful person I know.. You treated me so nice when we had our first time that I wish it was you who were my first.. But you gave me another first and now I can't even remember my first one.. So.. are you ok now?"

"Yes.. I am.."

"Ok.. now let's go to make love"

We celebrated her gold medal in our way.. We celebrated it make sweet love to each other.. Of course half an hour was now one hour and our phones were ringing the one behind the other.. For Ashley was Mits and Steve.. For me my mother and father.. I forgot about them totally.. Before we say anything else our cells rang again..

"It's my mom"

"It's Steve.. Do you want me to go inside the bathroom so you can talk?"

"I don't want you to go.."

"It's ok baby.. I have to talk with Steve.." she kissed my forehead and she got inside the bathroom.. Naked.. Ashley was naked inside the bathroom and I was naked here, having to talk with my mother when I had other things in mind.. Or someone..

"Mom?"

"Spencer? Where are you? Why you didn't pick it up when I called?"

"Mom.. could you please relax a little?"

"RELAX? Are you serious? What you were doing with Ashley kissing Spencer?"

"WHAT?"

"You heard me.. I saw you.. You were kissing Ashley after she finished first"

"Mom.. what? What are you saying?" how did she know?

"You didn't hide it that well.. You were photographed and they had you in a video. How could you?"

"Mom.."

"Do you know that what you both dokng is a sin?"

"Mom.."

"I thought I raised you better than this.. Aiden.. Oh, my God.. That poor boy.. You broke his heart"

"MOM.. Could you please stop?"

"Stop? Stop? I didn't even start yet.. You made us look like fools.. What are they going to say back to Ohio, at the church.. They will ask me about you.. What am I going to say?"

"That your daughter is a great person, she is a great athlete and she is in love with a girl."

".In.. a girl.. Can you hear yourself? How? It isn't possible.."

"How do you know? Did you ever? Have you ever been in love with a girl mom?"

"Of course not.. That would be a sin.."

"A sin is when you kill someone and you don't regret it.. To love someone is not a sin"

"You are not gay Spencer.. And you are not in love with her.. I knew it.. The first moment I saw her.. I knew she was a bad influence. She is the reason you didn't get the gold"

"Mom.. I am not 12, I am not 16.. I am 22.. I am a grown up woman and I can love who I want to.. And I love Ashley.. Take it or leave it.." now I was yelling and crying at the same time.. Ashley was out of the bathroom looking at me.. She was worried.. She came beside me holding my hand and looking at me with longing.. I needed her.. Especially now.. I couldn't talk with my mom right now.. I just wanted Ashley.. And she will never change that for me..

"Are you ok baby? What did happen?"

"My mom knows.. I suppose everyone knows by now"

"She knows about you and me? How?"

"They showed us on a video after your winning.. I guess we didn't see them.."

"Are you ok?"

"If by ok you mean angry and disappointed then yes.. I am ok"

"Can I do anything?"

"Yes.. I want you to hold me and never leave me.. ok?"

"I will be here baby.. I am not leaving you.."

I needed Ashley to be next to me more than ever.. If I had to face my parents I wanted to be with her..

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**TBC**

**Well.. Ashley won the gold.. At least one of them should.. Hope you liked it.**

**Reviews are always welcome..**

**xx**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hope you have a great Saturday.. Something to read before you get ready to go out..**

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**Chapter 17**

Do you remember the butterfly effect? I think that is happening again.. And this time it's bigger than the last.. This time the butterfly's name is Paula Carlin..

I thought that parents should love their children unconditionally.. But I guess I was mistaken.. My mother criticized me.. She wasn't next to me.. She didn't know how I felt about all this.. About Ashley.. Everyone thinks that I am not gay.. I didn't say I was.. Why label something.. I just found the one I loved deeply and happens to be a girl.. Gay, straight.. White, black.. Why do we need to label everything? Wrong, right and so on..

Ashley was my rock, my strength.. I just needed her to be here.. Just here.. Hold my hand and nothing else.. It wasn't about me.. It was about her also.. It was about us.. My mother thought she was a bad influence.. How could she? She is the most lovable person I know.. But when Paula thinks something about someone you can't take it out of her mind.. And right now I don't care.. Right now I just want to hold Ashley and that she holds me too..

"Baby.. Are you ok? Are you sure?"

"I am fine Ash.. Don't worry"

"But Spence.. Your mother.. What did she tell you?"

"Paula? The same as Aiden.. I am not gay and that I can't be in love with you.."

"I will be here Spence.. And I love you.."

"That's what I need Ash.. And I love you too. Can you hold me please?"

"Of course baby.."

She took me in her arms and we stayed there holding each other.. Sometime a hug is more important than everything else.. When Ashley hugged me all my problems, all my thoughts, everything, were vanished.. We were just us.. In our world where no one could touch us.. No one could harm us.. Ashley and I..

My phone kept ringing but I didn't want to talk to either one of my parents.. My father kept calling and calling but I just couldn't find the strength to talk.. I would hear the voice mail later..

Night passed so fast.. When I opened my eyes it was probably noon.. I looked for Ashley but she wasn't next to me.. Where did she go?

"Good morning sleepyhead.."

"Ash.. I thought you left.."

"I did.. But to get you breakfast.. We have orange juice, croissants and this" she had this smile I love and she gave me a flower.. A red rose..

"This is perfect baby.. Thank you so much.."

"You are perfect.. Now eat because you didn't eat anything from yesterday.."

"What about you?"

"I am fine.. Don't worry.."

"Do you want a bite?"

"Hmm.. tempting.. Maybe later.." she said with a smirk and I knew what she meant by that.. "You dad called again.. Maybe you should call him back Spence.. See what he wants.."

"Ok.. I will.. After I have my breakfast.. Now I don't remember.. Did you give me my good morning kisses?"

"Nooo, because I didn't want to wake you up.."

"I am awake and I am needy.." I showed her my lips with my finger telling her that I needed her to kiss me.. And she did.. Mmmm.. Ashley's kisses..

"Better?"

"Much better.. Thank you.."

We sat together to Ashley's bed.. She looked at me while I was eating, playing with my hair.. Sometimes you don't need words to describe how you feel.. You know by a touch, a look.. I knew Ashley loved me.. Not only she was saying that to me but she showed that to me many times with all of herself..

When I finished my breakfast Ashley handed me my cell.. I don't know if I was ready to talk with my dad.. I knew he was better than my mom but I don't think that I could stand it if my dad criticized me as well..

"Spence.. you should.. I don't think he wants to yell at you.. I think he is a nice guy.. Not like your mom.."

"I am afraid Ash.. What if..?"

"You will never know if you don't call him.."

"Ok.. I am calling"

"I will be here.."

"Thank you.."

I pressed the 3 speed dial I had for my dad.. 2 was Ashley of course.. I waited and then I heard his voice..

"Spence?"

"Dad?"

"Are you ok Spence?"

"I am fine dad. Why?"

"Well.. because of your mom.. I am so sorry.. She overreacted.. Spence.. You know I love you.. Don't you?"

"Of course daddy.."

"I will love you no matter what.. You are my daughter.. If you love a girl or a boy you are still my daughter.. And I wanted for you to know that.."

Then I started to cry for two reasons.. One because I felt relieved and second because of my father's words. That's what I needed.. Support.. And my father would be here for me.. Ashley saw me crying and she whispered to me if I was ok.. I said yes..

"Thank you dad.. I needed to hear that.. Mom hates me right now.."

"She doesn't hate you Spence.. She just can't understand.. If you need anything.. If you both need anything I will be here.."

"Thank you dad.. You don't know what that means to me.."

"I am your father Spencer.. My job is to protect you and to love you.. And by the way Spence.. Ashley is a very nice girl.. She should be lucky to have you.."

"I am the lucky one dad.." I said and I looked to those beautiful brown eyes that I find myself lost every time..

"Remember Spence.. I will love you no matter what.. We will stay here for another day.. Do you want to meet me for lunch with Ashley? I like her"

"I will ask her and I will call you back.. Ok?"

"Ok, baby girl.. Be safe"

"You too.."

I didn't expect that.. I was expecting disappointment, yelling and a not supportive parent.. But it was the opposite.. I love my dad so very much.. And I hope my mother changes her opinion about Ashley and me..

"Well?"

"He is fine with us.."

"I told you so.. You were worrying for nothing.."

"He wants us to meet him for lunch.. What do you say?"

"Hmm.. I say hell yeah.. I am hungry and I want to thank him for putting this smile on your face again.."

"So.. we are going for lunch?"

"Yes, with your dad.."

"Ok, I am calling him back.." before I call my dad I give her a kiss on her lips and then press 3..

"Why the kiss?"

"Because you are you.. Ehm.. Hey dad.. We are ok for the lunch.. What time? Ok.. we will be there.. See you later.."

"Well?"

"At two o'clock we are going to meet him downstairs.."

"So we have an hour.."

She came closer and started kissing me.. my neck, then my lips.. I knew what that meant.. And I so needed her.. I wanted to feel her..

"I want to take all your thoughts away baby.." she continued with her kisses now near my ear, my weak spot and most sensitive.. I could only moan her name on and on..

I was wearing jeans and a jersey.. Under the jersey I was naked.. I didn't wear a bra.. At that time I just wanted to be with Ashley.. Thank God I wasn't naked when I left the hotel to go and find her..

Ashley's hand traveled under my jersey and when she were to touch me she looked at me and she smiled again..

"You are making it easy for me baby.. And you are turning me on even more.."

"You know I am the one to please.."

She took it off with one move.. I was now only with my jeans and naked.. Ashley still wearing her clothes..

"It's not fair you know.. I am almost naked and you are still full clothed.."

"Oh, I am so sorry.. Let me take them off then .."

She moved away from me and she locked her eyes with mine.. She took off her clothes really really slow making me want her even more than I already did.. She was stripping in front of me and I couldn't take my eyes off her.. She took of her bra and tossed it away as she did with her panties also.. She was naked, looking at me and all I wanted was to be with her.. Soul and mind..

She walked really slow back to the bed where I was wet from all the show she did to me.. I so wanted to feel her inside of me..

She unbuttoned my jeans and took them off together with my panties.. She was standing atop of me and I could hear her breathing hard.. With us it wasn't just sex.. It was love.. And every time we were together it was amazing.. She captured my lips with a heated kiss.. We kissed till we both needed air to breathe..

"You are amazing Spence.. You are so beautiful.."

"Aasshh.. I want you to make love to me.."

She leaned to my naked torso kissing my breasts.. She wanted for me to feel everything but I wanted to feel her..

"Baby.. I need you.. please.."

She heard the pleading in my voice and she kissed me one more time before I feel her fingers going down on me.. She inserted me with one of her fingers slowly while her thumb was playing with my clit.. What she did to me..

"More baby.. I want to feel you.."

She put another finger inside me.. How good she felt.. She was kissing me while she was thrusting me in and out.. Every second I was making love with Ashley it was like I was in heaven.. She made me feel things.. Too many things..

I could feel myself tighten and she knew that too.. She left my lips and she continued kissing me till she was near to my heated centre.. Without asking me with her eyes she took out her fingers and she continued with her tongue.. She was licking and sucking my clit.. Circling it and I was starting to tremble.. I had my eyes closed enjoying every minute she was with me.. Every minute we shared.. I was so close..

"Mmm.. baby.. Asshh.."

She didn't say anything.. She continued with what she knew she did best.. Giving me an orgasm.. I think myself being with her.. I can't see myself not be able to touch her.. She is my everything.. And what we both feel it's real..

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**TBC**

**Hope you liked it.. Have fun..**

**Reviews are always welcome..**

**xx**


	18. Chapter 18

**Ok.. Let me say first thank you for all your reviews and the story alerts.. It makes me happy that you love the story.. So keep them coming because I love reading them.. Enjoy the new chapter..**

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**Chapter 18**

I am happy.. I am really am.. I have Ashley and I have my dad.. I need them both.. I want my dad's support and I need Ashley because .. well because it is Ashley.. I wanted her for so long and now I have her and I am not planning of leaving her.. She means a lot to me..

And now we are going to meet my dad for that lunch.. I am not nervous.. I am happy.. I know that my dad is next to me.. And that he loves Ashley.. Who doesn't? But she is mine..

I am going to meet my dad and like 15 minutes ago I was making love with Ashley.. Nice.. I feel more relaxed and I have a huge smile on my face.. I am just happy..

"Baby.. are you ready?"

"Yes, I am just finishing my make up"

"You are beautiful either way Spence.." she said while she was leaning on the bathroom's door looking at me..

"And you are beautiful for me too baby.." I turned back looking at her and giving her a kiss on her lips while holding my mascara on my hand..

"Spence.. we are already late.. Your father said in an hour and it's 15 minutes later than that.."

"It is not my fault my dear.. I just couldn't take my hands off you.."

"You are such a charmer.."

"That's why you love me.. I am ready.. Now we can go.."

"Finally.."

"You are a drama queen.."

"Yeah, yeah.. Let's go.."

"Demanding.. I like.." I said with a smirk.. She could be demanding on me whenever she liked in bed.. I think about her when we are coming…

"Stop thinking of having your way with missy.. Take you mind off the gutter.. I know I have a great body and everything but.."

"You are so full of yourself baby.."

"Parts of the charm baby.. Maybe I will show you again when we return back in our room.."

"Our room?"

"Yours or mines.. Still our room.."

Can I fall in love with her even more??? I don't think so..

Finally we made it and we met my father in the reception.. He didn't seem pissed off that we stood him up like half an hour.. Actually he seemed happy..

"Hey, dad.. Sorry we are late.."

"It's ok honey.. It is not a problem.. Glad to see you again Ashley.." he looked at her and he hugged her.. Ashley looked at me whispering 'what?' and I just shrugged..

"You too Mr. C."

"So my girls.. Where to go?"

"Ehm.. I know of a cute little restaurant and is not far from here.."

"How on earth you know so many things of this town Ash?" I said smiling..

"I lived here for some time when I was younger.. Then we moved to the states" it wasn't the right time to ask her where she lived.. Can you imagine that still I don't know??

"Then we are glad you moved to our continent baby" I said and leaned to place a kiss on her cheek.. My dad was open to us but I don't think he would like to see me kiss her on her lips..

"And I love I moved to your continent too.." we looked each other smiling, lost to each other.. Like no one was near us.. It was only us..

"Ehem.. Sorry.. Should we go girls?"

"Yes, I am so sorry Mr. C." Ashley was red.. I never saw her blushed.. She was blushing because of my dad.. I'll tease her later.. When we are going to be alone..

We took a taxi and we went to that restaurant knew about.. It was too small and very warm inside.. It was a greek restaurant.. Never been in one again.. But I guess it will be a first too.. The people they had it were warm and kind and when we got in they greeted us with smiles..

"A greek restaurant Ash?"

"Have you ever tried it?"

"Not really.. Didn't have the chance.."

"You will love it.. Let me order for us.."

We sat to a table near the fireplace.. The walls were like Hard Rock Café but these walls were full of memories of Greece.. Beautiful islands, old people laughing, some people I believe where important.. My sight caught a woman waving her hand in a monument.. I didn't know who she was and I was curious.. I wanted to ask because she seemed important..

"This is a very nice place Ashley.. Where did you find it?"

"Well Mr. C, my father was amazed by Greece when he went there for a trip.. I remember him talking about the history they offer, the food, how warm the people are and kind.. And he kept telling us about the food.. So one day we were passing from here and it became our spot.. And I love greek food.."

"That is very good Ashley.."

Then a man in his late 40s came with three catalogues for us to see what we are going to get.. I was still wondering who that woman was in that photo..

"Sorry sir.. Can I ask you something?"

"Of course Ms"

"Who is that woman in that photo?"

"Well Ms, this is Melina Merkouri.. She was an actress, a singer and a politician.. She was a strong advocate for the return of the Parthenon Marbles.. And that's why she is photographed there.. Greeks love her as their goddess.. She was famous here also.."

"Never heard of her"

"Because you weren't born then Ms.. Now she is dead.."

"Thank you.. It is a very nice photo"

"It is.. So what can I get for you?"

"Hm.. can you please come in a minute? I want for them to experience what greek cuisine means.."

"Of course.. When you are ready just give me a nod"

I had the catalogue but really I didn't know what to have.. It really seemed like greek to me.. So we were letting Ashley to choose for us..

"Ok.. I think a greek salad for a start.. I say we order tzatziki, you have to taste it.. I will have a piece of mussaka and what you are craving for guys?"

"Well.. meat?"

"Chicken, beef or pork?"

"I don't know.. You choose. I like both"

"Mr. C?"

"Me too Ashley.. Don't have a problem"

"ok.. Leave it on me"

Ashley made that nod and the same man came to take the order..

"Ok, we want a greek salad, tzatziki, a piece of mussaka, keftedes, giouvetsi, paidakia and spanakopita"

"What are you going to drink Ms?"

"Wine or greek ouzo guys?"

"Ouzo? What is that?"

"Bring ouzo for them to taste.. If they don't like it we will have wine."

"Thank you.."

Ok.. Hearing Ashley order in greek it is such a turn on.. I may have to ask her if she knows any other words.. What she order? I don't have a clue.. But I guess it is tasty..

"So girls.. You are together I suppose?"

"DAD.."

"What Spence? You are, don't you?"

"We are Mr. C" Ashley said taking my hand in hers.. We so are together baby..

"You know I will be there for you.. Ok? Both of you.. And Ashley?"

"Yes, Mr. C?"

"Take good care of my girl.. Or else.."

"With my heart Mr. C.. I will take care of her.. You having nothing to worry about.."

"Good to know.."

The appetizers were here and I was curious of that white thing they brought us.. I could understand the salad..

"Ashley, what is this?"

"Try it with bread.. It is really good.."

I tasted it and it was really good.. Spicy a little but good.. It was cold.. Yogurt and something else..

"It is called tzatziki.. Yoghurt with cucumber and garlic puree"

"Really good Ashley.. Nice.."

If I liked what I ate I am curious for what happens next.. In an hour we had everything we ordered and it seemed a lunch for kings.. Everything smelled amazing.. And it was really different from what we are used to eat.. I may have to find a greek restaurant back to Ohio.. Every food we ordered had a different taste and scent.. All together just travelled me in Greece..

"Ok.. now the ouzo.. It is strong guys.. I am warning you.. Drink it slow.."

Ok when I tasted it it was really really strong but way to different from everything.. I don't know if I ever will try that again but it was an experience.. Nevertheless I think I drunk like three glasses of ouzo and I was feeling a little dizzy..

"Ok.. Your honest opinion.. did you like it?"

"Well Ashley I want to say that you have a great taste in food.. I loved everything but giouvetsi was my favorite.."

"Well.. As for me.. I liked, what you call that with the spinach inside?"

"Spanakopita"

"yeah, that.. I liked.. And the meat balls"

"That would be keftedes baby.."

"Yeah, that.. And I liked what you got"

"Mussaka?"

"Yes, that too.. How on earth you remember their names?"

"I remember anything that want to remember.." she said placing a kiss on my cheek.. I so want to take her back to our room and start undressing her..

I had another first experience with Ashley.. I so waiting for other to come.. We paid and left for our hotel.. My parents were to leave tomorrow.. I didn't ask for my mom.. I so didn't want for her to ruin my mood.. I had a great time with my dad and Ashley..

"So girls.. Thank you very much for this wonderful day.. Ashley I am leaving Spencer in your hands.. Take care of my little girl"

"I will Mr. C. Have a nice trip back to Ohio"

"Spence? Come here" he hugged me and he leaned to my ear whispering 'she is a keeper. Don't let her out of you sight'

"Bye Daddy.. See you in ten days" I said while smiling.. She was a keeper and I so didn't want to leave her out of my sight..

"Be safe girls"

He left us and I was there holding Ashley's hand.. I looked at her and I so wanted to kiss her.. And that I did.. I cupped her face with both of my hands kissing her lips, sucking her bottom, my tongue asking for entrance which I had granted.. It was a sensual, passionate kiss.. I didn't want to leave her lips.. I wanted them on me..

"Let's go to our room baby.." I followed her without asking.. She was the one I would follow wherever she told me to.. And I so needed her..

We reached her room.. Tonight it will be her room.. our room..

Once we closed the door she attacked my lips in a passionate kiss.. She was trailing her kisses from my neck to my ear.. I was shivering to her every touch, to her every kiss.. I wanted her as she wanted me.. With a move I turned us and now I was the one kissing her.. I was bending lower lifting her shirt kissing her belly. My hands cupping her breasts under her shirt, my lips on hers.. Biting her earlobe and whispering how much I love her.. She was shivering and I liked what I could to her.. I wanted for her to feel what I felt when she was doing those things to me..

I took her hand and walked us back to her bed.. Our bed.. I leaned her back on the bed and I was on top of her.. My hands worshipping her body, touching her like it was our last time.. like I would never see her again.. I took off her shirt and I started kissing her while caressing her arms. I wanted to feel her and I could hear how hard her heart was beating.. It was how my heart was beating for her.. I was placing wet kisses on her torso, her belly, her lips and then back again.. Licking and biting when I wanted for her to feel more.. I was getting wet only for kissing her.. Only for having her underneath me..

I took off her bra and I just stayed there looking at her.. I wanted to memorize how good it is to be with her.. She turned me over and now I was beneath her.. She unbuttoned my shirt really slow and I could feel her fingers touching my breasts.. I so wanted her.. Once she finished she tossed it aside together with hers.. She unclasped my bra and now our breasts touching each other.. Two hearts beating as one.. Ashley's body in mine.. Warm.. Her hands inside my pants feeling how wet I was for her.. How wet she was making me only with her touches..

"You are so wet baby.."

"That's what you do to me Ash.."

She took off my pants and she free herself of hers too.. Two hearts, two persons, two minds.. As one.. We wanted to please one another.. But I would be the first to please her..

I took off her boy shorts really slow, my fingers inside of her shorts touching where they shouldn't be.. I saw her licking her lips.. I knew she wanted me.. I wanted to be inside of her.. I wanted to feel her.. And that I did.. I inserted her with two of my fingers and I saw her.. I was looking at those brown eyes of hers.. Blue and brown.. Meet.. Touch.. I was thrusting her in and out.. Wanted to give her what she was giving me.. My everything.. Our breasts touching each other's and my fingers inside.. I could feel her.. She was close.. And I so wanted for her to scream my name.. As I was screaming hers in my mind right now..

"Sp-ence.. Oh.. God.. Ba-by.. i.. i.. am.. so close.." she said between breaths and moans.. I knew she was close.. I could feel her.. before I understand what was happening I found myself surprised because now Ashley was inside of me.. Two fingers thrusting me..

"I want us to come together baby.." and how I could resist of her.. We were thrusting each other, her legs beside my back, hers beside mines.. Hands searching and feeling and I was so close as she was too..

"Spe-nce.. I.. am.."

"Me.. too baby.."

And we came together.. Something we never did before.. And it felt amazing.. We collapsed to each others body, inhaling each others scent.. Whispering I love you's.. Caressing each others back.. Holding her, being with her it is what I ask for.. She is my girl..

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**TBC**

**Well.. it was way too long but I think I bored you with the restaurant scene.. So I thought to give you something more..**

**Reviews are always welcome..**

**xx**


	19. Chapter 19

**Well.. Although I hate Mondays I have to say that Mondays while in summer are good.. Great weather and sun all day.. That's a good start for the week.. Too bad I have to be at work though..**

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**Chapter 19**

I don't want to leave her out of my sight.. I want her to be with me, close to me.. To feel her, to touch her, smile at her, kiss her, make love to her.. All these feelings I have for Ashley are growing even more day by day.. She came to mean to me everything.. When she is not with me I can't think, I can't breathe.. I didn't know what love was until I was with her. I fell for her.. And I love her.. And she loves me back.. What I wished for..

What I like when we are sleeping together after we made love is how I safe I feel in her arms.. I know she is here with me.. Holding me.. My head on her crook of her neck, my hands behind her back.. Her hands holding me tight like I would leave her.. But I am not planning to.. You wonder when these Olympics come to its end what are we going to do? I will follow her.. Wherever she lives.. If she wants me to come with her I will follow her even if she lives in Alaska..

I keep thinking how beautiful she is.. She is not only beautiful outside but I love what it is inside of her too.. Her soul.. At the beginning we were curious for each other and maybe she got out of line for not trusting me.. But I guess I didn't trust her either.. What Aiden said doesn't matter now because we overcame the obstacles and now I have her in my arms..

"Baby.. what are you thinking?" she said with her eyes closed.. Another thing with us was that we both knew each other.. I could feel her pain, her surprise, her sadness.. And she could feel mine..

"About us.. I am thinking about us.."

"Hmm.. I like.. What about us?" she had her eyes still closed and she tighten her arms around me even more..

"Ash.. Could you please look at me? I want to see your beautiful eyes.." she opened them and I was drawing to her.. "Baby.. we are together and we are going strong.. You know I am from Ohio but you never told me where you live.. And I am wondering what are we going to do after we finish here?" when I said that she smiled at me and kissed me on my lips.. Why she was smiling?? "Ash.. why you are smiling?"

"Because you are cute.. And how you didn't know where I live baby?"

"Well.. I wasn't searching were you live.. I was just looking at you.."

"Baby.. I love snowboard and what better place of Colorado Springs? I live in Colorado.." my jaw dropped.. She was living too far away from me.. Like.. I don't know how many states away from me.. What are we going to do? And do I ask her? Do I make the move to tell her? Do I tell her that I want to move and be with her?

"I know we live too far away from each other baby but we will find a way.. Ok? For now all I want is to be with you.. When it is time we will think about what we are going to do.. ok?" For now I think it is ok.. For now I take my time to be with her.. We have 10 more days staying here.. I am hoping we find a way..

That day we didn't do anything important.. I haven't seen Aiden or Jenna.. As for Aiden he was out of line.. I almost lost Ashley because he was thinking he could take away my feelings for Ashley.. No one can ever take them away from me.. From the other hand I wanted to see Jenna.. She helped me very much with Ashley and she was a great friend.. I was so sorry for keeping her away from me.. And I didn't see Steve from Ashley's winning.. I guess we were so preoccupied with each other that we forgot that there was a world out there.. But what if my world is right here.. With me?

"What are we going to do today?"

"Mmm.. I can think of something.."

"Spencer Carlin.. I am impressed.. Again? We made love like four times baby.. And one this morning.."

"I am needy.. And I want you as much as possible.."

"And I want you baby.. Well.. Let me think for a second.. Well we could go and watch some sport and then see our friends and then I will have you all mine.. What do you think?"

"Well I was thinking of staying in our bed all day and making love to you and then a hot shower and maybe some hot sex in there and then I could have my way with you again"

"Awww.. and I thought you liked me for me.. Guess you wanted me for my awesome body like the others.. You hurt my feelings Spence.." she said taking the face of someone who really was hurt.. But I knew her better than that..

"Well what can I say?? You have a great body and I wanted you only for that.. But I can do what you proposed.. I can be good if I want to.."

"Spencer Carlin.."

"Ashley Davies.."

"I love you.."

"I love you too baby.." I took her in my arms and kissed her like there was no tomorrow..

We did as Ashley said.. We watched her favorite sport.. Alpine Skiing.. Summer was participating and Germany won the gold but the girl was good.. She deserved that.. It doesn't matter that we got the silver.. I came to believe that not everything is about the winning.. I thought that if I didn't win I would die.. But here I am alive and better than ever.. I guess someone can change eh? And I have to thank Ashley for that.. She changed me and I like this new me..

"Well baby? Did you like?"

"I am more into snowboard.. You know.. There is a hot girl who took the gold.. You may know her.."

"Aha.. Hot girl eh? How hot exactly?"

"Toooo hot for me.."

"What am I going to do with you eh?"

"I can think of something.." I said while smiling.. Should I take my mind out of the gutter? Yes! Did I want to? No.. I want Ashley on top, beneath me, on bed, on couch, on floor even in shower..

"Heya girls? How ya doing?"

"Steve" we both said unison.. I liked this guy very much.. Even if I know he was with Ashley I am not feeling jealous.. Because he is a great friend for Ashley and I couldn't be happier that she has a friend like Steve..

"We took the silver eh?"

"Yes.. But that German girl was good.."

"So what are you both doing today? Ash.. I believe that tomorrow is medal day..

"Ah.. yes.. My gold.. Yes it is.. I almost forgot it.. I guess I had my mind somewhere else.." she said looking at me placing her hands behind my back, feeling her fingers tracing letters.. Don't worry baby.. My mind is on you all the time..

"Ok, then.. So what we are doing?"

"Let's go for snowboard.. What do you say?"

"Baby.. I don't know.. Do you remember last time? I fell on you.."

"Aww.. I remember.. That's the day I fell for you baby.." she locked her lips with mine and our tongues met each other.. It was a deep kiss.. One of them that I like..

"Ok.. do you mind? Hello?? Single guy over here? Lesbians fooling with each other? Is getting hot in here.."

"Sorry Steve.." we both said giggling and smiling..

"Guys.. Do you mind if I ask for Jenna and Summer?"

"Who is Jenna and Summer?"

"Jenna is a fellow ice skating athlete and a good friend and Summer is the gold medal winner in Alpine Skiing four years ago and this year silver winner.. And they are together.. Like in a relationship Steve.." I saw Steve's expression and it was like you were giving candy to a little kid.. I guess we made his day.. Two couples.. Both female..

"Of course.. Of course.. Let me find some girly boards for you rookies.."

"Don't you love him?"

"I do baby.. You are lucky to have him.. Let me call Jenna to ask her.."

"Ok, baby.."

I called Jenna.. She was super happy that her girl won the silver medal.. I was and she wasn't my girl.. But I could feel her.. My girl won the gold.. I asked her if she wanted to come with us and bring Summer with her.. She said she didn't have a problem but she would ask Summer and she would call me back..

"Well?"

"She will ask Summer and she will call me."

"Are you ready for me baby?"

"I am always ready for you Ash.."

"Why I feel that there is more into this?"

"Well.. because it is.." I gave her a peck on her lips and now we were waiting for Steve to find girly boards and for Jenna to call me back..

"Spence?"

"Mmmm?" I had my head on her shoulder, holding her hand in mine..

"I was thinking of what you said this morning.."

"About what are we going to do when we leave from here?"

"Yes.. I was thinking that maybe.." at that moment my phone rang.. I saw it was Jenna and I picked it up.. "Hey, Jenna.. Yes.. We are here.. Ehm.. Ashley, me, Steve which is Ashley's best friend and you guys.. Ok.. We will be at the parking lot waiting for you.. Ok. See you in five minutes.."

"Well.. will they come?"

"Yes, she asked Summer and she didn't have problem.. Actually she told me that Summer is very good in snowboard.."

"That's good.. One less rookie to teach.."

"Hey.. I recall that you weren't better on ice baby.. You have to be patient. Not everyone has your talent."

"That is true.. I am a talented woman.." oh, yes she is.. She is very talented.. Her tongue, her fingers, how she moves her body.. Mmmm.. very talented indeed..

"Girls.. I am back.. Well.. will the lovely couple join us?"

"Yes, Steve.. We are meeting them at the parking lot.."

"Ok. I am going to start up the car.. Come and find me later dolls.."

Now I was curious of what Ashley wanted to tell me..

"Ash.. What did you want to tell me baby earlier?"

"It's nothing really.. We will discuss it when we will back to our room.."

"Are you sure baby? It seemed important.." she gave me a kiss and she gave me her hand for me to follow her..

"I am sure Spence.. Now come.. The girls will wait for us.."

How I could concentrate on snowboarding when I knew that Ashley was about to tell me what is going to happen between the two of us.. I guess I was thinking again too loud because Ashley heard my thoughts..

"I promise it is nothing.. Now come on.. We are going to have some good time.. Ok, baby?"

"Ok, Ash.. But we will talk about this when we return back.. Ok? Promise me.."

"I promise.. Now give me a kiss and let me see this smile of yours that I love.." I kiss her and a tried to give her a true smile.. I still was thinking..

"Awwww.. that is really cute.."

"Jenna, stop.. hey guys.. How are you Spencer?"

"Hi, Summer.. You did very well today.. You were awesome.."

"Thanks Spencer.. I wasn't good enough for the gold.."

"It doesn't matter.."

"That's what I told her too.. Gold, silver, bronze. It doesn't matter.."

Ashley didn't know of Jenna or Summer.. And I was talking to them while she was standing next to me looking at us..

"Summer, Jenna.. This is my Ashley.. Baby.. This is Summer and this is Jenna"

"Nice to meet you.. Both of you.. Spencer talks about you.."

"Nice words I hope.." Jenna.. I am glad I have her as a friend. And this time I am planning on keeping her..

"Of course.. Well done for the silver by the way Summer.. We were there today.. You were amazing.."

"Thank you.. And I learned from the girls that you got the gold.. You must be good then.."

"She is the best female snowboarder.." I said proudly for my girl.. She was.. No one can say different..

"Baby.. I am not the only one.. I am just lucky.."

"Baby.. you are not lucky when you take two gold medals in two Olympic games.. Don't be modest about this.."

"She is just proud.."

"Of course I am.. I am proud for my girl.. Jenna? Aren't you proud for Summer?"

"Of course I am.. She is great.." I could see those two as me and Ashley.. I could see their love for one another..

We heard a horn from afar and that was Steve telling us that it was time for us to get in the car..

"Guess Steve is a little bit too anxious.. He is the only guy with four girls.. He is very exited.."

"Let's meet this Steve guy. It will be interesting.."

And it was interesting.. Steve was.. How can I say it.. He was flying in heaven because he was with four girls, which were together.. As in couples.. He was fine though.. He didn't say anything to insult Jenna and Summer.. He wouldn't.. He is not that guy.. And that's why Jenna and Summer loved him.. He tried to help them with the boards but he failed.. Summer was a pro in snowboard as she was in skiing too.. So Jenna and I were the only ones that we didn't know how to snowboard.. Jenna had Summer and I had Ashley.. Steve was alone and the only thing he did was to go down the slopes.. Poor Steve..

I was better than the last time.. That was for sure.. But I had a great teacher..

"Baby.. if you continue like this you will the one who will compete me the next Olympics.."

"Don't worry baby.. I wouldn't leave my sport.. I love ice skating.. Maybe I will have snowboard as a hobby.."

"Then we can go snowboarding together.."

"I only hope for that baby.."

We stayed for another hour till the sun was setting and the moon starting to rise.. We really had a fun day.. The girls loved Ashley and Steve and I was happy.. I still remember Jenna's words.. And I am glad I heard her.. Because I don't know what I would do if I didn't have Ashley with me.. Now the only thing I was thinking while driving back was what Ashley told me or what she was going to tell me.. I kept looking at her and she seemed so relaxed.. If she is then whatever she is going to say will make me happy?? I hope so..

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**TBC**

**Cliffhunger.. Yes.. Next chapter.. We will find out.. What Ashley is going to say to our Spencer??**

**Reviews are always welcome..**

**xx**


	20. Chapter 20

**Hey guys.. This chapter will be from Ashley's POV. I think it was time to read about her too.. Enjoy the new chapter guys.. I love updating..**

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**Chapter 20**

**Ashley's POV**

Life is unexpected.. You don't know what you are going to do, where you are going to be, with whom you are going to spend your life with.. An clearly mine was unexpected for many reasons..

I wasn't like this years ago.. I was angry, confused, disappointed, I hated the world.. Why? Because when your world crush then you don't need anything or anyone.. And if you are selfish as I was then you convince yourself that you don't need anyone.. But this is a lie.. It is then that you need people in your life..

I am 23 years old.. Well I will be in June.. My family is.. I don't know if I can call them a family anymore but my family consists from my mother and my sister.. My father died when I was 15 in a plane crush.. Raife Davies was a famous rock singer.. For the others was Raife Davies, the icon.. For me it was my daddy.. Although he was touring he always found time to be with me.. I remember he changed his world tour just to be here on my birthday.. We were a happy family.. We were.. My parents loved each other very much.. I wished for a love like theirs.. But when my dad died in that crush my world crushed too..

I was 15 and my sister was 12.. Kyla.. She was too young to lose a parent.. But I was too.. My mother couldn't bear the lost.. She started drinking, she would sleep all day, she just forgot us.. She was in deep pain for my father's death.. We all were.. Sometimes she yelled and then she would ask me to forgive her.. I did that.. I did forgive her.. But I couldn't forgive her anymore.. I was blank inside.. I lost myself.. I had to be a mother for Kyla, a mother to me, a sister.. I couldn't take all that.. So I started to isolate myself from everyone.. We were living in Canada then but after my father's death my mother wanted us to move.. She chose Colorado.. I think she had more reasons in that.. Something that had to do with my father.. So we left Canada one year later.. I didn't want anyone near me.. I didn't need anyone.. I had only one friend and he refused to leave me.. Steve.. He was my rock.. He leaved in Canada too. He was from a wealthy family but still he was a cool guy.. If you didn't know you would say that he was a typical guy.. So when I moved I stayed in contact with him and he would come and see me very often.. And our life changed when I was 17..

We loved to snowboard.. It was my escape.. When I was snowboarding I couldn't think.. All my thoughts, all my problems were gone.. That year someone saw us and he told us if we wanted to participate to the next Winter Olympics.. Snowboard was our hobby and if we would we would make the best of it.. So we both said yes and that how everything started.. 18 and a gold medal champion for the very first time..

I loved winter sports.. I loved all of them.. But two sports held my heart.. Alpine Skiing and Ice-Skating.. Two different sports but yet so beautiful.. I remember a competition of ice skating a year before the Olympics.. I remember seeing a girl so beautiful, with so much grace on ice. It was like she was flying.. Like she was all alone out there.. She was extremely good.. I found myself attached to my tv looking at her.. I was waiting to see what her name was.. And then I saw her.. Spencer Carlin and Aiden Denninson.. A very good couple.. Maybe the best on ice.. They were good.. She was good.. She was perfect.. I was wondering if she would ever go to the Olympics.. But if she would I would buy a ticket just to see her perform.. And maybe some day I would meet her..

When you think your life can change? I think that mine changed when I went to the Olympics and when I saw her.. When I saw Spencer my world crushed again but this time it was for a good reason.. I knew I was already gay.. Steve knew and well I made the mistake of telling my mom and my sister.. They weren't ok.. My mom lost it.. That day was hard.. She was drinking again and I thought it was a good time to tell her.. Big mistake.. She slapped me and she used some words that I don't really want to remember.. That day I said to myself that I lost my mother too.. This person wasn't my mother.. Kyla freaked out.. I didn't expect for her to be so closed minded.. I guess everyone changed.. So.. My family?? My family exists in my dreams.. When my daddy was alive and everyone was happy..

When the time came Steve and I found ourselves in the Olympics.. We didn't try too hard.. I guess when you love so much what you do, then you don't need anything else.. That Olympics were special.. Spencer would participate and I had the gold ticket to see her..

Spencer Carlin was known as the ice queen.. And she was looking like one.. She had these perfect characteristics but yet so cold.. I felt that she wasn't like that.. I felt like this was just what she wanted for others to see.. And I wanted to meet her, to talk to her.. But she was difficult to get. I never saw her outside of the ice-skating rink.. I didn't saw her when we were returning back to the states.. And all I could think of was Spencer.. Could you really fell for someone only be seeing them once or twice? The answer was yes.. Because I fell for her and I didn't even met her in person.. She just made my heart skip..

The next four years I watched her.. I saw every competition of hers.. It was the only thing I could do.. Just watch her.. I even went to see her several times.. What I did sexually? Well, I won't say that I didn't have night outs with several girls.. Because I had.. But after some time I could see Spencer's face in all of them and I just couldn't.. I didn't feel it.. So I just waited for the next Olympics to come.. Lame I know.. But a girl can only hope.. And this time I would talk to her..

At first I made Aiden.. When he came to greet me I knew who he was but I played the card 'yeah, ice-skating.. Not my thing'. I didn't want to tell him 'hey Aiden.. You are very good.. Oh.. and Spencer.. She is awesome..'.. He was a nice guy. Very cool.. He would help me to meet Spencer.. And without knowing he did help me.. And I met her.. And till this day, till this moment I thank him for that but he better don't even think of touching my girl again.. Because now Spencer Carlin is mine in every possible way and I am planning on keeping her as long as she want me to.. Because I fell in love for the first time in my life and her name is Spencer..

"Baby.. what are you thinking?"

"Mmm.. Ah.. nothing.. Just how lucky I am that I have a girl like you.."

"You are so romantic Ash.."

"Only with you baby.."

"We had fun today eh?"

"Yeah, it was good.. When are we going for snowboard again?"

"Soon.. I know you just want to see me fall.."

"No, baby.. I like watching you falling in my arms.. That is different.."

"You are a charmer Ms Davies.."

"Well.. thank you Ms Carlin.."

Spencer told me something I was thinking a very long time now.. The Olympics are coming to an end.. What are we going to do from then on? How we are going to be together? I didn't want to freak her out asking these questions but she was thinking the same.. And now we should talk and tell each other.. We may be together not for long but what we feel for each other is strong.. I know that I want her to be with me and I want to be with her..

"Spence.. I think we should talk about this morning.." her smile vanished from her face and I so didn't want to.. Maybe she was afraid of the talk.. I was.. I didn't know what she was thinking.. Did she want to be with me as I wanted to be with her? Did she loved me as much as I loved her? Because if she wanted for me to follow her I would.. I would follow her wherever..

"We should Ash.."

We were in my room and we were sitting on my bed.. I took her hands in mine and I started to talk..

"Spence.. I want you to know that I love you.. I do.. This.. What we are doing is something I was hoped way before I meet you.. I dreamed of you.. I knew there was someone out there for me and I found you.. When I saw you I knew it was you.."

"I love you too Ash.." she tried to say something else but I hushed her with my fingers..

"Let me continue.. please.. I know you want to know what is going to happen between us after all this is finished and I want you to know that I thought about it too.. I want you Spence.. I want you so much.. And I can't be away from you.. So I am sorry if I will freak you out but when Olympics are finished I was thinking maybe if you wanted I could come and stay in Ohio.." she was shocked.. She left my hands and I already felt how cold they were without her warmth.. I thought she would freak out but now I am freaking out.. I.. shit.. I shouldn't.. I tried to get up but she stopped me holding my hand..

"Ash.."

"It's ok Spence.. Forget what I said.. It was a mistake.. We are ok.. It is ok.."

"I can't forget what you said.. I can't because I want to remember it forever.." isn't she freaked out?

"Spence.."

"No.. Now I am doing the talking.. Ash.. I was waiting for you to ask me.. I was waiting for you to tell me that we were going strong.. That this, what we are it is not a fling.. This is real.. Baby.. I don't care if you move to Ohio or if I move to Colorado.. All I care is to be with you.. All I care is for us.."

"Really baby? You are not freaked out?"

"Are you kidding me? This is what I was waiting to hear baby.. I want to ask you so many things but sometimes I am afraid that you may not be ready to answer some questions I have.."

"Spence.. you know you could ask me anything.. Why you feel like that baby?"

"Ash.. you are like a close book.. Up until now I didn't even know where you lived.. If I don't ask you you don't say anything to me.. And I don't want to pressure you.. I want for you to be able to tell me.."

"Spence.."

"It's ok.. I am just saying.. If you want to talk I am here.. I will be here just to listen.. Ok?"

All these years I couldn't let anyone in.. I closed myself from everyone except Steve.. Steve was my family.. My only family.. And what I would tell Spencer? That my family is just fucked up? That my mother is a drunken bitch? That my sister is an ungrateful little brat? What? I don't want anyone's pity.. And right now I hate who I am to Spencer.. She is my girlfriend.. She should know where I come from.. Who I am.. But I am not ready yet to let her inside my soul.. What if she finds out and leave me? I wouldn't take it..

"Spence.. I really want.. but.."

"Whenever you will be ready I will be here.. Ok? I will be here because I love you.."

"And I love you Spence.."

"That's what we need.. Ok?"

"So.. what about after the Olympics?"

"Since we both want the same thing we will find the place baby.. Know that I would follow you wherever.. I can't stay away from you either.."

"So.. we are not a fling?"

"No.. baby.. we are definitely not a fling.."

"Then.. I have to call my other girlfriend and tell her that I am breaking up with her.."

"You are such an idiot some times.."

"But.. I am your idiot baby.."

"You are a charmer Davies.."

"Thank you dear.."

Do you know what it feels right? When the person you love loves you back.. And I juts keep that.. Day by day I will be able to let Spencer in.. And when I do I hope she won't leave me..

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**TBC**

**Well I am not harsh.. I could never do that to them.. I love them too mush.. Maybe this story of mine won't have too much of drama..**

**Reviews are always welcome..**

**xx**


	21. Chapter 21

**Hey guys.. Sorry I didn't have an update yesterday but here I am today.. Enjoy the new chapter..**

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**Chapter 21**

Ashley and I came to love each other so fast.. For someone could be seen that we didn't know each other so well to be in love but I knew what I felt for her way before I find myself talking to her.. being with her. Calling her mine it was something I needed.. So for me it wasn't fast.. For me it was time for us to meet and be together.. What bothers me though is that she can't be open to me yet.. I love her, she loves me but she can't tell me about her past.. But I can't pressure her.. I can't.. She needs to trust me.. And I will be here for her.. No matter what..

I feel relieved because I know she wants me with her.. I am happy because she thinks of us together as more.. Clearly we are together as a couple.. But we came to be a couple in a short of time being participants to these Olympics.. We are together for a week now and there are ten days left.. Ten days to be here with Ashley, together.. She told me if I wanted for her to move to Ohio.. I do.. But that means my mom will be there.. And I am still staying with my mom.. She made her point about us.. She doesn't like Ashley.. I was thinking of moving to Colorado.. It's a great state and from what I heard they have great places for ice-skating.. I guess we will found out..

After my first time with Ashley we never slept alone again.. Either she was sleeping in my room or I was sleeping in hers.. As she said my room or hers it was our room in general.. And I couldn't sleep without her next to me.. Holding me.. I wanted to feel her hands around me.. Spooning me.. Felling her close.. She was my girl..

After the talk we had in her room about us moving we made love all night.. I couldn't resist her.. And now we are here again.. Cuddling while naked under the covers.. Ashley's naked body touching mine, her leg touching mine, her breasts in my back and her hand in my tummy.. I was feeling so aroused by her and she was only touching me.. I tried not to wake her up.. I turned my face to look at her.. She was extremely beautiful.. One of her curls were on her face and I just touched her, putting it back to her ear.. I caressed her cheek and I let my thumb touch her luscious lips.. I didn't want to wake her up.. I just wanted to feel her..

"Mmm.. morning.."

"Hey you.." she still had her eyes closed.. I woke her up.. She tighten her grip and I felt her naked torso pressed to mine.. Ok.. is it bad that I wanted her again?

"What time is it?"

"It's after 8"

"Why we are awake then Spence..?" _because I want to feel you again.._

"I just couldn't sleep.. I woke up feeling you and I just.."

"And you just wanted my body again?" she gave me that smile I loved.. Ok.. I admit it.. I wanted her body pressed into mine again.. Am I a bad person?

"Well.. you have a great body baby, but.."

"Spence.. you are horny.. You know that?"

"It is not my fault you know.. Once you go with Ashley you never forget Ashley.."

"Go on.. I may help you with the need you have.." she is so full of herself but I love it..

"And what you do with your fingers.. mmm.. when you curly them inside of me.. And when you go down on me with your tongue.. You make me so wet Ash.."

I didn't finish because she stopped me by kissing me.. Our tongues met in a passionate kiss.. I could feel all of her in that kiss.. I could come only by her kisses.. That what she was doing to me.. She came on top of me and now our naked bodies were touching each other.. I could feel her heart beating so fast.. She looked at me caressing my cheek, kissing my nose, my lips and going behind my ear where she knew it was my weak post biting my ear lobe.. I could feel my hair rise..

I felt her hand going under the sheets tracing my body.. I could feel her heated centre touching my thigh.. She was so wet.. I could feel her..

"Ash.. you are so wet baby.."

"That's what you do to me.."

She started to rub her clit on my thigh while playing with my nipple.. Biting and sucking making it harder by her every touch.. She left my right breast to continue with the same love and care like she did with the other.. She was still moving her clit over my thigh and Oh God she was amazing.. I needed her inside of me now.. I couldn't take it anymore..

"Ash.. I want you.. Please.."

"Where you want me Spence.."

"I.. I want you inside me.. Please baby.."

"How much.. Tell me what you need exactly.." Oh God.. even her voice is so fucking sexy..

"I want you Ash.. I want you so bad.. I want your fingers inside my core.. I want.." I didn't finish because she was inside of me.. Two of her fingers were already inside of me.. She was inside me for seconds making feel her thrusting her fingers in and out but she took them off.. She was teasing.. She took them off to rub by clit.. "Oh God Ash.." she was kissing me deeply while she was rubbing my clit with two of her fingers she had inside of me seconds ago.. "Oh, FUCK Ash.. Just.. FUCK.. Put me out of my misery.."

"As you wish baby.."

She was looking at me while she was inserting me again with the same two fingers.. She felt so good.. We felt so good.. We were perfect for each other.. Brown met blue, breasts touching breasts, hands feeling, fingers touching..

"ASH.. I. I.. baby.. ASSSHHH.." I came so hard.. What this girl is doing to me?

She looked at me one more time and she licked the fingers she had inside me moments ago.. She was so fucking sexy.. I cupped her face and brought her closer to mine.. I kissed her and I could taste myself in her.. This was a great breakfast in bed.. If you know what I mean..

"You know.. I may get used to these breakfasts in bed"

"Me too Spence.. It was amazing.."

"Are you ready for a second round or are you tired?"

"Tired? Who? me? I will show you how tired I am.."

"Hmm.. what about I show you?"

And I showed her.. I showed her so good that she needed to rest for half an hour later on.. I wore her out.. I wanted her so much that I was putting all my imagination to our night and morning sessions.. She was my first but I wanted for her to feel so good that she would forget anyone she has been with.. Tell me selfish but I would claim Ashley any time..

"Ok.. That was.."

"Good?"

"Are you kidding me? Spence.. If I didn't know I would say that you have been with another woman before.. Baby.. you are amazing.."

"Maybe you love me more than you loved you ex's"

"I didn't love them Spence.. I love you.. I am in love with you.. And what we are doing is so fucking fantastic because it is love and not sex.."

"You didn't.. love anyone.. but me?" I saw her looking anywhere but me.. I didn't know that.. I didn't know she didn't love anyone before.. I didn't know because I never asked her about her other relationships.. I didn't because I didn't want to compete with them.. I knew she had a life before me, I didn't expect her to be a saint.. But hearing her telling me that I was her first in that made me feel special in more than one ways..

"Ehm.. yes.. Spence.. You are the first person I told 'I love you' and I mean it.. I do.. I love you so much.. You mean so much for me.. I know it sounds crazy.. But with you I feel things I never felt with anyone before.. It's like I was waiting for you all this time.. Cheesy but true.."

We were making a progress.. Ashley was opening up to me and I knew it was a first for her to tell me about her past..

"And I love you baby.. I thought I loved Aiden but I cared for him and loved him as friend than being in love with him.. I knew I didn't love him like I should when I saw you.. Because when I looked at you my heart beat so fast and right then I didn't know why.. Now I know.. It was love at first sight.. And now we are here together.."

I kissed her lips, nothing passionate but tenderly.. Something to show her that I was here.. That we were here.. Together.. I linked our fingers together and kissed her knuckles.. We were perfect for each other.. Ashley and me.. Us..

We stayed to our bed till it was time for us to get up.. It was boring actually because we didn't have anything to do.. Both our sports were finished and now we were waiting for the Close Ceremony.. Ten more days..

Today though was special because it was medal day and I would see my girl in the first base.. And I will be so proud.. I am already proud of her.. Did I want to take the gold? Yes. Did it matter anymore? No.. All that mattered were next to me.. Holding my hand and kissing me..

"Ash? What time is the bestowal of medal today?"

"Ehm.. I think it is at 4.00pm.."

"You think? Ash.. How on earth you are so loose? If I were you I would go crazy.. And you don't even know if it's 4.00 or if it's 5.00.."

"Why to worry? There are things more important to worry from this.. Spence.. I love snowboard.. It's my hobby.. I don't care for medals.. I just do it for me.."

"You are.. You are.."

"Amazing? Lovely? Sexy? Beautiful? Clever?"

"And very modest.. You forgot your modesty baby.."

"Nah.. Ok.. Let me call Steve then.. He will know.."

"Steve is on the men's team.. How does he know about your medals?"

"He knows everything about me"

She took her phone out and dialed Steve's number.. She was still naked when she stood up from our bed to reach her phone.. She really have a great body.. I was biting my bottom lip, having dirty thoughts about her when I felt her kissing my forehead..

"You so had naughty thoughts about me again.."

"I didn't.. I was just thinking.."

"About me.."

"Noo.. I was just thinking about today.."

"Yeah, right.. And I am blond.."

"I feel hurt.. My girlfriend doesn't believe me.."

"I do baby.. I am sure you were thinking about today.. I am sorry.. I thought you were thinking about me.." she made that sad face and oh my God.. I couldn't see her like this..

"Ok.. I was thinking of you and maybe I had some naughty thoughts about us.."

"I knew it.. Ha.. You are so easy baby.." I was speechless.. That little minx.. Oh.. she doesn't know with whom she is messing around..

I didn't say anything… I got up and pressed her back to the bed and started tickling her.. I got her without her knowing where I was coming.. I was fast.. Ha.. You don't know baby who is Spencer Carlin..

"Please Spence..(laugh).. stop.. (laugh).. I hurt.. (laugh) please.."

"Say you are sorry.." I stopped to see her response..

"Never" she said and smiled..

I started again tickling her.. She was crying from all the laugh.. It was funny having her underneath me, naked.. Very funny..

"I am sorry.. I am so so sorry.. Please.. Stop.."

"Thank you.."

I was laying on top of her looking at her.. Eyes locked.. She cupped my face and brought our lips in touch.. I think that if I ever had to stay away from her my heart would die.. And that because she makes my heart skip so fast..

"So.. what Steve said?"

"It's 4.30"

"Ash.. you are something.. You would go there and it wouldn't be your time.."

"Now we know.. Will you come with me?"

"It's not even a question.."

"So.. should we get up and have a shower?"

"You can go.. I can go after you finish.."

"Well.. we could save time and water and have one together.."

"Now who is horny? Eh?"

"I.. I am not suggesting of having hot steaming sex Spence.. Oh, my God.. Where your mind went?" I looked at her like I was saying 'are you for real? You know what that means' and she got the point.. "Ok.. I was thinking about having hot steamy sex in the shower.. So.. care to share?"

It was tempting.. I admit it.. But..

"Hmm.." I got up, stepping closer to her, wrapping my hands round her waist, kissing her neck.. She moaned under every touch of mine and then .. "No, baby.. You can go first.." and I kissed her nose..

"Speeenceee.. you are such a tease.. Such such a tease baby.."

"Hmm.. I don't know what you are talking about.."

"Ok.. then.. I am going.. Your loss baby.. You could have this body but now you won't.."

She turned her body and went inside the bathroom.. I heard the shower and I was debating with myself if I was to go inside or not.. Did you have to wonder..? I opened the shower door..

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**TBC**

**Thank you baby for being an insperation to me..xx**


	22. Chapter 22

**Sorry.. I had this already written but I couldn't upload it.. So today you will have two updates.. After this one you will have another one in a couple of hours hoping to feel better.. Thank you for your reviews.. I love reading them..  
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**Chapter 22**

"Are you ready?"

"Why wouldn't I be? I was born ready Spence.."

"Aren't you nervous at all? You are getting your second gold medal.."

"Nah.. I am nervous you are going to be there though.."

"Why?"

"Because now I have something to be happy for.."

Finally it was the medal ceremony day.. I wouldn't miss it for the world.. I would be there to be proud for my girl.. Not only because our country got the gold but for her also.. I will be proud of her.. I am proud of her..

"So.. are we ready?"

"Show me the way.."

We met her team downstairs.. Everyone congratulated her.. And everyone was looking at us.. Of course we weren't a secret anymore.. After that video everyone knew but no one said anything.. Ashley linked our hands and I felt safe with her.. Aiden was more as a safety net.. With Ashley I felt that I could give her anything..

Steve was there, Jenna, Summer.. How I came to have friends really I don't know.. Every single one of them was a friend.. Maybe I didn't know Summer and Steve as Ashley and Jenna knew them but they were friends.. And I liked it.. Me.. Spencer Carlin.. The ice queen.. had friends.. And a beautiful girlfriend of course..

We didn't left each other's hand.. We held each other till we were at the stadium.. Today were other bestowals as well.. So it was very crowed and I was happy that I had a free pass and I could join Ashley's team.. From where we were sitting we could see Ashley very well.. Gold medal Ashley Davies, USA.. Silver medal, Canada.. Bronze medal, France.. I have to say that I was afraid that the girl from Canada would get the gold but my girl was better.. After our fight and seeing Ashley doing everything wrong on the quarter finals I was afraid.. But everything went as they should be.. And now we are here together..

"Ok.. this is me.. I love you.."

"Love you too.. I will be watching you.."

Ashley together with the other girls walked to the place were they would get their medals.. I heard the annunciation.. They had huge video walls where they were showing Ashley's tries.. She was amazing.. And then I heard the annunciation _"Ladies and gentleman gold medal champion Ashley Davies". _Everyone in the stadium screamed her name.. She waved to the crowd and she turned where I was sending me a blow kiss.. I was so so proud..

"You must be proud for your girl.."

"I am.. I so am.. Aren't you proud for your best friend?"

"Of course.. But with you is way different.. She is not my girlfriend you know.."

"Steve.." I said while hitting his arm..

"Hey.. what is the matter with you two? Why you keep hurting me?"

"Because we can.."

"You are funny.."

"Thank you.."

Steve was a very good person.. I said it a lot of times but it is the truth.. He is one of the persons were you know you will be friends for a long time.. So I was glad I could call him a friend..

"Spencer.. Tell me.. How are you going to celebrate this night?" he said with an evil smile.. I knew what he meant. That little pervert..

"Are you saying what I think you are saying?"

"What you think I was saying?"

"Steve.. you are such a pervert.. I am not going to tell you anything.."

"What are you two talking about?"

"ASH.. Oh.. my god.. Baby.." I hugged her like I haven't seen her for months.. She had her gold medal on her neck.. It looks so good on her..

"Hey.. Nice to see you too.. So what you were talking about?"

"Nothing.. Steve was leaving.."

"No, I am not.. Ashley, I was asking Spencer here what are you… Aouts.. That hurt.." I tend to believe that he likes pain.. I can't explain it other wise..

"What is going on with you two?"

"We are just playing.. Right Steve?" I gave him the look and he knew that I wasn't kidding..

"Yeah, yeah.. Spencer likes to play.. Very much.."

"Ok.. where are we going to celebrate?" I was thinking a private celebration but it's her day and if she wanted Steve together I couldn't say no.. Steve from the other hand had this huge grin on his face.. He is lucky I like him..

"Ashley.. maybe you and Spencer should celebrate somewhere private.. If you know what I mean.."

"Well.. I will consider it for later.. For now I want to celebrate the day with two of my favorite persons in the world.. So where are we going?" ok.. Is it bad that I wanted her all for myself?

"I know a bar near.. What are you saying?"

"Spence? Are you coming?"

"Of course.. like I would leave you especially this day.."

We went to a bar Steve knew.. I keep forgetting that Ashley and Steve lived here.. I wish she could be open to me as she is with Steve..

"What can I get for you ladies?"

"A beer for me and you Spence?"

"I will have a martini"

"I am coming in five minutes with our drinks.."

"We will be here waiting Steve.."

We were there looking at each other.. I so wanted to kiss her but I didn't know if it was ok for us being that open especially in a bar..

"What are you thinking?"

"That I want to kiss you so much.."

"Then why you are not doing it?" she said while she placed her hand on top of mine..

"I don't know Ash.. We are in a bar.. There is people here.."

"So? Don't they have boyfriends or girlfriends?"

"Yes, but it's different with us.. We are girlfriends.. You are not my boyfriend.."

"What are you saying Spence? That you are ashamed for us?" she took her hand from mine and I immediately felt that what we were discussing was bad.. I didn't mean it like that.. I wasn't ashamed for us.. But these people may feel uncomfortable with our PDA..

"Ash.. I didn't mean it like that.. Of course I am not ashamed for us.."

"So.. what? You are not ashamed.. So.. what are you? Afraid? You don't want to be seen kissing another girl, who by the way is your girlfriend?"

"Ash.. don't get mad.. I told you I didn't mean it like that.. What if people see us.."

"I don't care about people Spencer.. I don't mind what they are going to say.. If I wanted to kiss you I would.. And I wouldn't mind if the Pope himself was sitting next to me.." ok this situation is going worst that it should..

"Hello my beautiful girls.. Here is our drinks.." Steve.. he came just the right time.. He saw that we weren't in a very girlfriendly mood but he didn't say anything..

"Thanks.." Ashley was mad.. I could see her.. Steve could see her.. Everyone could see her..

"So.. are we having fun?"

"Very.. I am just doing my happy dance.." Yeah, she is mad and very ironic if I might add..

"Ehm.. yeah.. I can see that Ashley.. Ehm would you like to do our happy dance on the dance floor?"

"You can go.. Actually you can take Spencer with you.. It will look more boyfriendly.." ok.. I think that I screwed big time..

"Ash.." I tried to touch her but she shoved my hand..

"Just go.."

And I did.. Steve was looking at both of us.. He didn't say anything but when we would be away from Ashley I am sure he would ask.. I looked at her one more time and she had her eyes glued to her drink..

"May I ask what the fuck happened? I was away like 10 minutes.."

"I.. don't know.. I just wanted to kiss her and then I thought that we were here surrounded by people and I made the mistake to tell her that.."

"And she got mad.."

"Yes she did.. She told me I was ashamed for us.. I am not Steve.. I promise.. I just.."

"Spencer.. let me tell you something.. Ashley is a difficult person.. She is very proud for what she is.. She fought really hard for that.. It's not my place to tell you about her past life.. She will when she is going to be ready.."

"Why she is not opening herself to me Steve?"

"I told you.. I am not the one to answer your questions.."

"But you know her better than I do.. I need something.."

"And you will find it. Together.. I am sorry but I can't tell you about her.. If you love her as you say you will have to wait.."

"She is mad.."

"She is.. And if she loves you as she says then she will forget what happened and you will go on from where you left on.."

"And what if..?"

"There is no if.. You just have to have faith.. Faith to Ashley and faith to both you.. If it is meant to be is meant to be.."

"Thank you.."

"You are welcome.. Now.. I think it is time for you to go back to your girlfriend.."

Am I ready to go back to my girlfriend? What if my girlfriend is still mad at me? While I was talking with Steve I looked at her to see if she was looking at us.. Not once I saw her look to where we were.. She played with the straw of her drink.. And she seemed in deep thought..

We were back to our table and Ashley didn't turn to look at us.. We were there standing next to her and she didn't even let her eyes meet ours.. I couldn't talk.. Thank God Steve spoke for me..

"Ashley? Are you ok? Do you want another drink?"

"No"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure Steve.. If I wanted another drink I would get it.."

"Ok.. Don't shoot the messenger.." if looks could kill I think Steve would be dead now.. She is still pissed..

"Ash.."

"I want to leave.."

"Ash please.."

"Ashley don't be like this.."

"If you don't want to come I coan get a taxi.. You can stay if you want.. I am sure people won't find you different.. You are a boy and girl.."

"Ash.. why you being like this? You misunderstood what I said.."

"Really? I don't think so.. So are we leaving or I am?"

"WE are leaving Ashley.."

She didn't say anything else.. She just stood up and opened the door.. We were right behind her.. I didn't say anything else either.. Even if I did I am sure she wouldn't want to hear what I had to say.. How we came to this point, I don't know.. Actually I do.. It was my fucking mouth and my fucking thoughts.. Maybe Ashley was right.. Maybe she wasn't.. For now all I know is that I am walking all alone back to my room and Ashley is already gone to hers.. Still pissed.. Still mad.. And I don't know what to do..

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**TBC**

**Some drama never hurt..  
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**Reviews are always welcome..**

**xx**


	23. Chapter 23

**Here is the other update I promised you.. I was feeling better and I thought of writing.. I am warning you this chapter is very emotional and really harsh..**

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**Chapter 23**

**Ashley's POV**

Why everything goes bad when you think they are perfect? Why when I love someone deeply they destroy my love? First my family and then Spencer.. I can't believe her.. I thought we were ok. That she was ok with us being a couple.. She didn't show me the opposite.. And now I know what she thinks.. I am sure she is ashamed for us.. She is ashamed for me, for her.. I can't do this.. I can't let my heart fell into pieces again.. I tried so hard to become who I am today.. I thought I would never feel like this again.. But never is such a small word..

I was so pissed that when we left the bar I sat behind Steve and didn't say anything to either of them.. If I did I would say awful things and I thought it was better not to speak.. I couldn't even look at her.. Spencer.. The woman I love as no one in my life.. I never loved someone as much as I love her.. And now I feel completely destroyed.. That's why I don't leave myself fall in love.. That's why I never loved anyone.. Because they come and take your heart with them.. Do I love her? Of course.. Can I listen to what she has to say? Don't think so.. It was pretty clear to me.. Can I talk to her? Right now.. I don't know.. I don't know.. I am known as irrational.. And right now what I am thinking is not good.. Because right now I don't want to talk to her.. Right now all I want is to scream and be away from her..

When we arrived back to our hotel I opened the door immediately and didn't wait Steve or Spencer to follow me.. I heard my name several times but I didn't turn my back.. I kept going till I was inside my room.. I wanted to be alone.. I didn't hear Spencer call my name not once.. I guess she understood that I was in no position to talk and especially to her..

I sat on my bed with my hands under the pillow, looking the ceiling, listening to my ipod.. That's what calmed me.. I was thinking back when my father was alive.. When I was alive just being with him.. When my family was perfect.. And I started to cry.. I haven't cried from the day we buried him.. That day I cried till I didn't have any more tears to spill.. It felt so strange having tears again on my face.. Why my dad had to die? If he was alive now everything would be different.. I wouldn't feel shuttered from the world.. I wouldn't have difficulty to love someone and I wouldn't be here crying, feeling my heart broken once again..

Maybe I was overreacting with Spencer.. We were openly here.. She was open while we were with her father.. I shouldn't be so harsh on her but still I feel she is ashamed and nothing or no one can take it off my mind.. If she wasn't she would kiss me to that bar.. I was true to what I told her.. If I wanted to kiss her I wouldn't care for no one.. But me was me.. Maybe I loved Spencer more than she did.. And maybe I have to stop thinking because all that emotional crap making my head hurt..

I was ready to go to the bathroom to take a shower when I heard someone in my door.. I wasn't going to answer in case it was Spencer.. They knocked again and I heard Steve.. I am not sure I was ready to talk to anyone but knowing Steve he wouldn't leave my door.. He would stay outside waiting for me..

"What do you want?"

"Nice way to open your door.. Can I come in?"

"If I say no will you leave?"

"No.. Now open the door.." he was pissed.. Why he was the one he was pissed.. I should be the one..

"What can I do for you my dear friend?"

"Ash cut this crap.. You are talking with me and not with Spencer.."

"What do you want Steve?"

"Why you are being an ass?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me.. Why you being like this? And especially to Spencer"

"It's not your business what I do or what I don't.. So back off"

"It's not my business? Thank you Ashley.. It means a lot to know that my best friend thinks like that for me.."

"Steve.. I am not in the mood for drama.. So please.."

"You are wrong Ashley.. If you let Spencer out of your way then you will have nothing.. She loves you and you know it.. If you don't see that then you are blind.."

"Are you finished?"

"yes."

"Thank you.. Now you can go.."

"Ashley I am your friend.. I will be here for you.. But if you lose Spencer you will be sorry.. When you find someone you love and they love you back you keep them.. Don't lose her.."

"Bye Steve.."

When he left I sat down and I thought of what he said.. I didn't want to admit it infront of him but he was right.. Spencer loved me.. I loved her.. Way too much.. What if I reacted dramatically? Spencer wasn't open as I was all these years.. It was new for her.. But still she was trying for us.. I am such an ass sometimes..

I took my hotel key and I run to Spencer's room.. I needed to say sorry for being me.. For being an ass.. Steve was right.. I couldn't leave her.. She was the most important person in my life.. I loved her and she loved me..

I knocked her door and I was waiting.. She wasn't opening.. It was kind of late.. Maybe she was sleeping.. I knocked one more time and waited.. I heard footsteps and I had this huge smile on my face.. I would ask her to forgive me and everything would be fine.. We would be fine.. When the door opened I was ready to hug her but instead of hugging Spencer my jaw drop of what I saw.. I must be in parallel universe.. Someone laughs right now against me.. I couldn't believe it.. I couldn't believe her.. Aiden.. he was there.. With Spencer..

**Spencer's POV**

Everything is so fucked up.. I can't believe Ashley and I are in the middle of an argue again.. I don't like being like this with her.. Whenever we fight I feel like my heart dies a little.. And this time it was a big fight..

It's not that I am ashamed for us.. I want to scream to the outside world that I am in love with her.. Nothing is stopping me really.. But all this is so new for me.. I know Ashley had been out years now.. But I am discovering myself now.. I found myself with her.. It's not that I love her less. Day by day I feel myself falling in love more..

At the bar I so wanted to kiss her but there were people there.. I think that we would have a problem kissing in each other in a bar.. People are not open minded.. What if some guy came and make rude comments about us? What if we were to go to the toilets and someone followed us, what if they raped us.. I hear so many things every day.. If they can rape you for no reason then what if we gave them a reason? I know that I might be exaggerated but I couldn't stop all these feelings.. And Ashley took them the wrong way.. And she didn't even let me to explain myself..

When we reached our hotel she opened the door and left us behind.. Steve was calling her name but I didn't try to call her back.. I am sure that she wouldn't turn.. I left Steve and Ashley go their separate ways and I stayed down to the bar.. Tonight I would drink. Drink to forget.. Forget of how stupid I am.. Forget how much I love her..

I was in my third drink when I felt someone sitting next to me.. Someone I haven't seen for days.. Someone who was close to me.. Someone I was calling my boyfriend almost two weeks ago..

"Do you need company?"

"Aiden.."

"How are you Spencer?"

"Fine"

"I can tell. Where is Ashley?" I shrugged.. I didn't know actually.. Maybe she was inside her room.. Maybe she wasn't.. "Right.. So what are you doing down here all alone?"

"What do you think?" I showed him my drink.. Isn't it obvious?

"Can I have a Jack please?" Aiden called the barman.. I wanted to be alone now.. I didn't want company.. Actually I needed one person.. And that person was Ashley..

I kept drinking my martinis.. Must have five by now.. It's not a heavy drink but when you are not a heavy drinker as I was then five martinis can fuck your head.. Especially when you are not emotional stable..

After what seemed my 10th martini I think and some tekila shots Aiden insisted of buying us I couldn't stand.. My head was spinning and I think I would threw up.. I tried to get up but I felt in Aiden's arms..

"Wow there.. Are you ok?"

"Fi-ne.. Than-k you.."

"Do you need me to help you going to your room?"

"Nah.. I.. am.. per-fect.."

I tried to leave his arms and step forward but I couldn't make a step of my own.. I guess I needed help..

"Come on.."

He lifted me in his arms and he took me back to my room.. Back to our room.. Ashley's and I's.. Back to where we made love for the first time.. Back where I became hers..

"Here we are.."

"Aide-n.. stay.." I didn't know what I was doing.. I was asking from my ex-boyfriend to stay with me.. First of all he was my friend.. And I needed a friend right now..

"Ok Spence.."

Once we got inside he put me in my bed.. My head was spinning so much.. I started to take off my shoes and then my shirt.. I was there only with my bra.. I shouldn't with Aiden being here but I was ok.. He was Aiden after all.. And I needed to change from my clothes and wear something more comfortable.. And I was wasted.. I wasn't thinking clearly..

"Aid-en.. my.. sh-irt.. the-re"

I was in my bra and jeans and Aiden was standing there looking at me.. He was drunk as much as I was but he seemed better.. Although I was so wasted I could see how he looked at me.. And it wasn't in a friendly way.. And although I was wasted I was feeling exposed right now.. I tried to get up to take that shirt of my own.. But Aiden had it first..

"Aiden.. Can you.. give it.. to me?"

"I think I can Spencer.. I can give it to you.. If you insist" I think that he meant something different.. I tried to take it from his hands because with all this I was starting to getting sober..

"Aiden.. please.. My shirt"

"Why? You look great with only your bra.. I am sure Ashley likes you that way" now I didn't like what was happening.. Aiden was coming closer and I was starting to feel afraid.. It was a mistake for telling him to come inside..

"Aiden.."

"Aiden.. Aiden.. Aiden.. Spencer do you know how I feel? Do you know how you made me look alike?"

"Aiden.. You are scaring me.. Please.." I was crying.. I was crying because Aiden wasn't the boy I thought he was. My friend.. Aiden wasn't the boy I dated for three years.. This person was someone else..

"You asked me to _give_ it to you.. I am going to _give_ it to you you little dyke.." I can't believe what is happening.. No.. It can't be..

Aiden pushed me hard on my bed.. He was on top of me and I could feel his manhood in my abdomen.. I was crying because I knew what would happen..

"Shut up.. You know you want it.. How you go with a woman? Can she do what I do for you?" he touched me.. He was touching me and his touches were rough..

"Aiden.. please"

"Don't fight it Spencer.. It will be much easier.." I tried to scream but he put his hand on my mouth.. He put his hand inside my jeans, inside my panties and I felt him inside of me.. I closed my eyes because I couldn't believe what was happening.. he ripped my bra and he was biting my breasts.. I felt pain.. Psychical and emotional.. I tried to get up but he slapped me..

"I said shut up.. Enjoy the ride.." he stood up and he unbuttoned his jeans.. He took mine off and he was inside of me..

Then I don't remember anything because I closed my eyes.. I thought I was with Ashley, walking on the beach, holding her hand, letting my head fall to her shoulders.. She was looking at me and she was kissing me.. We were perfect..

I stopped feeling pain and when I opened my eyes I could see Aiden with his back on the wall.. He seemed like he didn't know what just happened.. Like it was someone else who raped me.. Tears kept falling from my eyes and I tried to cover myself.. I felt so ashamed, blank.. I felt nothing.. I was trembling..

"Spen-cer.. I.. sorry.. I.." I couldn't look at him.. I can't believe what just happen.. Must be leaving a lie.. It just can't be happening..

I couldn't see.. I couldn't hear.. My senses didn't work.. I saw him one more time.. He was going to the door while putting his shirt back.. He stopped when he saw Ashley in my door.. Ashley.. Oh my God..

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**TBC**

**I didn't know what I was going to write.. It just came to me while I was writing Ashley's POV.. I think drama queen is back.. Can you handle it?**

**Reviews are always welcome..**

**xx**


	24. Chapter 24

**Monday, who loves Mondays? Let me see your hands.. I don't.. But I hope you had a great start.. Enjoy the new chapter..**

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**Chapter 24**

What is your worst fear? That you are drawing? That someone struggle you? Being inside an elevator and then the elevator stop? I shouldn't think aloud what my worst fear was.. I shouldn't think that Aiden was a friend.. That he was ok with me being with Ashley.. But he wasn't.. And I am here.. Ashamed.. With no words to describe how I feel.. Because you can't describe it.. I can't look at him.. I can't look at me.. And the worst of all is that Ashley is here, standing at my door.. Why? Why she was here and especially now? Why she should have seen what she just saw? Why? Is there a why actually? No..

Aiden stopped once he saw Ashley at the door.. I couldn't take my eyes off her.. I know what she thinks.. It would be the same for me too.. If I ever caught her in bed, naked, with her ex boyfriend leaving like putting back his shirt.. I would think the same..

Aiden passed her without looking back.. And I didn't want for him to look back.. I wanted to forget about him.. Ashley though stayed there.. Still at my door.. looking at me without telling me anything.. She just stayed there.. Looking. Looking at my naked and abused body.. I don't have the strength to get up, I don't have the strength to look at her in the eyes and tell her what happened.. I just stay there too.. Looking at her..

She has tears in her eyes.. The same tears I have.. mine though are for two reasons.. Because I was raped, and because I am losing Ashley and I can't do anything about it.. Tell me crazy but I prefer for her to know that I am a cheater than a victim.. I wouldn't want for her to see me as a victim.. I wouldn't allow that to anyone.. Although I won't leave Aiden like that.. He will get what he deserves..

"I.. I.. Spencer? Why?"

Why? I ask myself the same thing. Why I had to get wasted? Why I had to invite Aiden inside my room? Why I didn't insist of making Ashley to listen to me? She always did the same thing.. She jumped into assumptions.. From the beginning she did the same thing over and over.. And I was still there forgiving her for not believing me.. This time she jumps into assumptions again.. But this time although she is wrong in so many ways she can prove it.. I am still naked and Aiden was here..

I didn't answer her back.. I looked anywhere but her.. I didn't want to see her.. I didn't want for her to see me.. If I would let her see me she would see the mark I have on my face from Aiden's hand.. But this mark is at the opposite of her.. She can't see the mark Aiden left on my body.. The physical and emotional mark.. I won't let her know..

"SPENCER"

She screams my name between sobs and I still don't look at her..

"Ashley, go.. Please"

I want her to leave.. It's the first time I want her to leave.. I can't have her here.. Not now..

"Spencer? Are you kidding? I am not going anywhere.. What he was doing in here?"

Am I going to answer her question? No. What am I going to say to her?

"JUST GO.. There is nothing I can tell you.." I said while crying.. For once Ashley stays.. Ashley wants explanations but for the first time I can't be there for her.. For once I can't run behind her.. And I am crying because I know that what we had its finished.. I lost her..

"I am not leaving without you telling me what just happened" and I am telling her something I know I would regret later..

"I think you know.. We fucked.. Yeah.. That's what you wanted to hear isn't it?" I said now while laughing.. But it was a sarcastic laugh.. A laugh that I was trying to show and hide my tears..

"You are lying.. You can't.. just.. fucked him.."

"Well I did.."

As long as she stay here I am getting angry.. All the anger I had for Aiden fire me up for Ashley.. If she wasn't the one who jumps into assumptions, if she could hear me nothing would happen.. If she stays longer I will say things that I will regret.. I don't want to hate her for what happened to me.. It was Aiden's fault and only..

"Spencer.. I am sorry.. I made a mistake"

How I wish she knew that she made a mistake hours ago.. Nothing would happen and now I would be in her arms.. But look at me now..

"Ashley, please leave.. Go.."

"Spencer.. please.. I am an idiot.. I love you.. please.. I can forget what I just saw.."

But I can't..

She was standing still there.. She tried to approach me but she was hesitant.. I know I was doing the biggest mistake of my life leaving Ashley.. I got up, with the sheet tighten to my body.. I passed her without looking at her and before I get inside the bathroom I just said..

"Please go.. We are over.. Don't be here when I will be out.."

"Spence?"

I opened the door and got inside.. I didn't wait for her to say anything else.. I didn't wait to hear the door close.. Because once I got inside I started crying.. I couldn't look myself at the mirror.. I felt dirty.. I could feel Ashley's presence still inside the room.. She was still there.. I heard the door open..

"I love you Spence.. Very much" and the door is closed..

I broke down to the bathroom's floor.. I thought I didn't have any more tears to spill but I was wrong.. I stayed there coiled with the sheet as tighten in my body as much as I could.. I stayed there I don't know for how long.. But when I opened my eyes and got out it was morning..

I got inside the bathroom again having a hot shower.. So hot that my skin was burning.. I wanted to wash away all of Aiden's scent.. I wanted to wash away all the shame.. But Aiden will hunt me for ever.. I will never wash him away..

That day I stayed inside my room.. I didn't want to see anyone.. I couldn't look myself at the mirror.. How I could see someone in the eyes.. I know what I had to do.. Maybe I am a victim.. But I am not stupid.. I promised myself that Aiden will get what he deserves for what he did to me..

I couldn't talk with Alexei, I couldn't talk to Jenna.. There were people who were close to me and they were on my team.. I didn't want for others to know what happened..

They say that whatever that don't kills you make you stronger.. I am not dead and definitely I am stronger that ever.. I could face this alone.. I didn't want anyone near me.. I stood up, put some clothes and got downstairs.. I asked for a taxi and decided to go to a police station..

Once I was outside the police station I stayed for a while thinking what I was going to do.. I wanted to finish as soon as possible..

"Hello"..

"Hello Ms.. What can I do for you?"

"I want to pray charges for rape"

"Could you give me your name please?"

"Spencer Carlin. I am American"

"Could you come with me please?"

I followed the police officer.. It was a woman in her late 30s.. She looked kind and she was a woman.. So I was glad I could talk with someone who could understand the situation..

"I am Detective Roberts.. Ms Carlin could you please tell me what happened?"

I sat down with her and told her everything.. Who I am.. Why I was here.. Who Aiden was and what he did to me..

"Ms Carlin I want you to sign the statement.. You said that Mr Denninson is staying in the same place as you are.."

"Yes Detective"

"We will have a warrant of arrest and we will arrest Mr Denninson with charges of rape and beating.. Have you seen a doctor?"

"No.. I came here first"

"I could get you to see a doctor so you will be sure that you are ok"

"Thank you.."

She took me to see a doctor.. How I could forget something like that.. I was so off while he was.. inside of me that I didn't think what he did.. What if he came inside of me? Oh, my God.. I don't want to think that he did because I might kill myself..

Once we were at the doctor's and the detective told him what was the reason for me being here he told me to sat to that bed they have for examination and stuff.. I had my eyes closed praying that I was ok..

"Ms Carlin I can see that you are violated but I can't see a sign of sperm.. But I suggest you do a test so we can be sure"

"Thank you doctor"

I put my clothes back and Mrs Roberts returned me back to my hotel.. She gave me her card if I needed anything and once they had Aiden she would call me back to come and confirm that Aiden was the same Aiden who raped me..

I still believe that everything is just a lie.. A dream that I will wake up from.. But the ugly truth is that it's not a lie..

I was inside my room once again.. The room I couldn't stay inside.. The room who held the best memory of my life and the worst.. I was sitting down at the floor, holding my legs up to my body, lost in my thoughts.. I heard a knock at the door but I didn't get up to see who that was.. I didn't want to see anyone..

"Spencer open the door.. I know you are inside"

Steve.. What he wanted? I am sure Ashley told him what happened.. I wasn't going to open to Steve.. As much as I love the guy I couldn't..

"Spencer open the door.. Please.."

I could hear the pleading in his voice.. I am sure he was concerned for Ashley.. He loved her very much..

"Spencer please.. I promise.. I want to talk.. Please"

I got up and opened the door.. I was a rag and I am sure he would see that on me.. I opened the door and I let him follow me inside.. I didn't speak.. He started first..

"Spencer what happened?"

"Didn't Ashley tell you?"

"She knocked my door last night, crying.. All that she said was that she lost you.. What happened?"

"You better ask Ashley.."

"I am asking you.. What happened?"

"She was here to say she was sorry.. But Aiden was here too"

"Ok.. I can't see where is the problem"

"I was naked and Aiden was at the door"

"WHAT?"

Is he for real? Is he yelling at me.. He has no right of doing this..

"Excuse me?"

"You fucked Aiden? How could you Spencer? I thought that you were different.. I believed in you.. I believed you loved Ashley.. I believed in you two"

"I love her Steve.."

"Yeah, it looks like that.. You must love her very much for fucking your ex boyfriend"

Now I was getting very angry.. I was getting very angry with all this and I snapped.. I shouldn't.. But I did..

"HE RAPED ME.. I didn't fuck him"

He stayed there emotionless.. Looking at me with his mouth open.. I didn't want anyone to know and especially Steve..

"Spencer.. I.. I.. don't know what to say"

"Don't say anything.."

"Spencer are you ok? Shit.. That's not a question.. Do you need anything?"

"No"

"I am sorry.. I.. didn't know.. I am sorry"

"How you could know Steve? Eh? How? You jumped into assumption as Ashley did.."

"Ashley knows?"

"No"

"Spencer.. Are you crazy? Why you didn't tell her?"

"Because I didn't want to"

"Spencer.. she thinks that you were with Aiden last night"

"And she will continue to think that.. Don't you dare say anything to her.. Are you listening to me?"

"But Spencer.. I can't"

"Steve.. You will not say anything to Ashley.. Didn't I make myself clear?"

"But.."

"No buts.. You won't.. It's my choice"

"But she loves you Spencer"

"And I love her. It's best if she doesn't know"

"For whom? For her? I think that you don't know her that well"

"Steve, please.. Don't tell her anything.."

"What you are asking is very difficult Spencer"

"I know.. Please.. When the time comes, if we are meant to be. We will find each other.. But not now.. Now it is not the right time.."

"Are you sure you don't need any help? I could beat the shit out of him"

"Police will find him and arrest him.. I made a statement today"

"Good. Spencer.. If you need anything.. I will be here.. Hope you know that.."

"Thank you Steve.. It means a lot"

Steve stayed for a little while and then left me.. I was alone once again.. Inside the room where held the best memory and the worst..

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**TBC**

**Well.. We have more chapters to come.. I have already wrote the story in my head but every day I change something.. What is not changing is the ending that I already have planned..**

**Reviews are always welcome..**

**xx**


	25. Chapter 25

**Guys.. I want to thank you all for loving the story.. Thank you for reading and reviewing, for your story alerts and favorite the story.. It means a lot and I like reading your thoughts… Enjoy the new chapter..**

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**Chapter 25**

They always say that tomorrow is another day.. Tomorrow will be better that yesterday.. Is it though? Is it better? Or we take the effort to change it for ourselves.. I am trying so much to be Spencer from the day before.. I am trying so much not to think what happened to me.. I am trying to think all the good times I had with Ashley.. The girl I love as much as everything in the world.. The girl I lied so I didn't feel ashamed more than I feel.. The girl I let to get away..

I didn't tell my parents.. I didn't want to put them in that situation.. But the truth is that they would find it sooner or later.. He would be arrested and everyone would know what he did to me.. My team, my friends.. All I care is for Ashley not to find out.. How she could be with me again after all this? How I could be with her again because of what he did to me.. I stopped calling his name.. It's a he for me..

Steve was indeed next to me.. As he told me he would.. I didn't go out from my room for two days.. Jenna was looking for me but I couldn't talk to her.. Steve was the one who knew… He kept me company and actually was here when detective Roberts called to tell me that they got him.. At first I panicked.. I don't know why.. Maybe because I would go to see him again.. I so didn't want to.. Steve held my hand and he told me he would come with me.. I didn't know how he could be with me without Ashley know that.. I asked him and he just told me that she didn't have to know everything about him.. Yes.. she didn't have to..

"Are you ready Spencer?"

"No. But it is something I have to do.."

"I am here. Ok? We will do it together.."

"Thank you.."

"You are a friend.. And that's what friends do.. Come on.. We will go with my car"

I didn't know if it was someone near him when they arrested him.. If it was then they will have questions.. I hope they don't ask me..

Steve drove us to the police station and I was hesitated to get inside.. Steve took my hand in his and I just followed him inside.. Detective Roberts was there waiting for me..

"Ms Carlin, hello"

"Detective.. This is a friend of mine.. Steve Arnolds. He knows Aiden too" it felt weird calling his name again..

"Ok.. Follow me.. We will go where we have him.. He can't see you so don't be afraid. Ok?"

"Yes.."

We followed her and I stopped when I saw him inside.. He seemed lost and guilty.. That's good because he was..

"Ms Carlin? Is this Mr Aiden Denninson?"

"Yes"

"Mr Arnolds?"

"Yes, it's him"

"Thank you.."

"Detective? Can I ask you something?"

"Of course"

"Is he going to be behind bars?"

"Ms Carlin we have already your statement but he needs a lawyer and to confess his crime.. Whatever we have I will call you again.. For now he is in custody.. You can sleep at night"

Could I? I didn't sleep till that night.. Whenever I was closing my eyes I could see his face and him raping me over and over again.. He was my nightmare..

"Thank you detective.."

"Everything is going to be fine.. We have him.."

"Thank you.. For everything.."

"Whatever you need call me at any time. Ok?"

I just nodded and I left the police station with Steve still holding me.. I thought I didn't need anyone but I was so wrong.. I needed someone to hold.. I needed someone to hold me.. I needed her but I couldn't.. Not yet.. I don't know if I ever but for now I can't have her as I want her.. Someday I will find her again and I hope I didn't lost her for good..

"Do you want me to stay with you?"

"Could you?"

"Of course Spencer.. let's just got back to your room.. ok?"

"Ok"

Once we were back I heard some people talk.. I didn't know them but clearly they knew him.. All I heard was 'Aiden Denninson is in jail'.. What if they will find out what happened.. What if Alexei knows already? I am sure he called him.. We didn't know anyone here and Alexei was practically our father, our family.. Oh, my God I don't want to think about that..

"Don't listen to anything or anyone.. Ok?"

"Steve? What if Ashley finds out? What then?"

"I still believe that you should tell her.. She needs to know Spencer"

"I can't.. I can't.." I started to cry.. I didn't cry from yesterday and I was already in Steve's arms shobbing..

"Shhh.. It's ok.. I am sorry Spencer.. Please don't cry.."

"She must not find out.. Please.."

"I won't tell her but I can't promise that she won't find out if people already know.. They know that you were or are together.. So they are going to ask her.. So that's why I am asking you to tell her by yourself.. It's better to find it from you than some stranger"

"I am not ready.. I don't know if I ever will.."

"Ok.. I won't say anything else.. Let's just lay here.. Ok?"

"ok"

We laid on my bed.. I didn't afraid of Steve.. I wasn't afraid because he was a man.. Right now I was afraid of being alone.. And Steve felt safe.. I needed to feel safe again.. Ashley made me feel this way.. My father made me feel the same way.. But Ashley is not here.. Neither my father..

That day I fell asleep in Steve's arms.. That day I was able to close my eyes and sleep.. And I didn't dream of him.. I dreamed of Ashley.. I dreamed our first time together.. I miss her.. I totally miss her.. I must be a masochist for not telling her.. I must be a masochist of telling her we are over..

"Spencer? Are you ok? You are crying"

I didn't know I was crying till I felt wetness on my face.. I guess my dream was vivid and I woke up with tears.. My subconscious was telling something that my conscious didn't want to listen..

"Yes, I am fine Steve.. Sorry for keeping you here.."

"It's nothing.. If you want me I can stay"

"No, I am ok.. really.. I will call you if I want something"

"Promise?"

"Promise"

He kissed my forehead and left me once again alone.. I will never forget what Aiden did to me.. But I will try to take him out of my mind.. Day by day I will.. I know I will because I am strong..

I still didn't want to get out from my room unless it was necessary.. But something pulled out to the balcony.. It was freezing out there.. When I was out my eyes found her.. She was out alone.. I was looking at her and I felt my tears again on my face.. Why I couldn't just let her in? Why I just couldn't tell her? Because I was afraid.. I was afraid of her reaction.. That's why..

Seeing her out there, alone.. I wanted to go and hug her.. Put my arms round her body.. Hold her and kiss her.. But I couldn't.. Before I step in I saw her turn her face to my side.. I took a step back.. I could still see her but she couldn't.. This weird connection we have it's something I can't explain.. She sensed me there.. As I sensed her.. I can't take all this.. I just can't.. I need to leave.. I need to go back.. Where will be no Ashley..

The days passed so fast.. I didn't see Ashley again.. I tried not to.. I was waiting for the closing ceremony and to leave as fast as possible.. Aiden confessed that he committed rape.. And they arrested him with full charges.. He didn't ask of Alexei.. I learned that he went to see him but he refused to see anyone.. I think he was ashamed for what he did.. I am sure that everyone wants to know what happened and thank God no one asked me.. They knew that we were over so there was need..

The last day before the closing ceremony I decided to go out from my room.. Steve still was near me, helping me with everything.. He didn't tell me again to tell Ashley what happened.. I guess he finally understood were I was coming from..

I started to talk with Jenna again.. She was worried about me.. But she didn't mention why I was so off all these days.. I told her because I broke up with Ashley.. She didn't ask why.. All she said was _'you are perfect for each other'. _And we were.. She was my soul mate.. My other half.. She told me that we should go out and have some fun because she missed me.. And to tell you the truth I missed her.. So that night we got out to have some fun.. I wanted to feel alive again..

"Spencer Carlin.. Are you ready?"

"Jenna.. Yes.. I am.."

"Ok. Let's go.. Summer is downstairs waiting for us"

"Where are we going?"

"To a local bar. I heard it's the best here"

Last time I was at a bar was that awful night.. I felt kind of strange going to a bar again.. I felt like someone gripped my heart so hard that I couldn't breathe.. Jenna sensed my anxiety an run to my side..

"Spencer? Are you ok? Oh, my God.. Can you breathe?" I just nodded "Breathe. Just breathe.. Inhale, exhale.. Inhale, exhale.. That's good.. Are you feeling better?"

"Yes.. Sorry.."

"Do you want for us to stay here? We don't need to go to a bar.. We can hang out to my room or your room."

"No. It's. Ok.. Let's go.. Summer wait for us"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes"

We took a taxi and went to that local bar Jenna was saying.. When we were outside I felt that anxiety build again.. It was the same bar I was with Ashley days ago.. I took a breath and stepped inside with Jenna and Summer..

Once we were inside we found a table to sit.. I didn't look around.. It was crowed actually.. I remembered what happened with Ashley here.. how I wish I could have kissed her that night.. Nothing would happen..

We were there sitting, drinking our drinks.. well I was drinking a coke.. I didn't drink from that night and I would never drink again.. We were talking when I saw Jenna look someone.. I followed her eyes and I saw Steve with a girl.. I was ready to get up and greet him when the girl turned her face and I saw who she was.. She was my Ashley.. I am not sure they saw us.. It was crowed.. I took my time look at her.. How I missed her.. I looked at her when our eyes met.. When blue met brown.. She looked at me and I saw a little smile on her face.. It was hesitant but I saw that.. Although it was dark Ashley's smile always lighten my world..

We looked at each other..

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**TBC**

**Hope you liked it..**

**Reviews are always welcome..**

**xx**


	26. Chapter 26

**I don't know about the weather where you live but here it's too hot.. But now it is the perfect hour for me to write.. It's not that hot anymore.. Enjoy the new chapter..**

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**Chapter 26**

**Ashley's POV**

When I saw Aiden leaving from Spencer's room I snapped.. I stood there looking at her.. She was naked covered only with a sheet.. I didn't know what to think.. My mind was telling the exact opposite of my heart.. She couldn't just cheated on me.. And with Aiden? With Aiden? Come on.. I know I was stupid but it wasn't a reason for her to take him inside her room..

What happened next though I didn't expect it.. She asked me to go.. She told me that we were over.. She told me she slept with him.. I couldn't let go of her.. I could forget what I saw.. So many emotions at once. I was an idiot.. A big fucking idiot.. And if I was to lose Spencer over my stupidity I promised myself that I could change.. I told her so.. But still all she told me was that we were over.. Last word of hers was _"Please go.. We are over.. __Don't be here when I will be out.."_

Once she was inside that bathroom I heard her sob.. I stayed for some minutes touching the bathroom door just to feel her.. I wanted to go inside and tell her that she is stupid.. That we both are stupid.. To take her in my arms and tell her that everything is going to be ok.. Instead I opened the door and just told her that I loved her very much.. I could never love anyone else as much as I love Spencer..

When I left Spencer's room I couldn't be inside mines.. It held so many memories of us.. So I went to Steve's instead.. I needed a shoulder to cry.. And Steve was always my rock..

I already had tears to my eyes when he opened the door.. He was surprised that I was at his door that late.. And crying.. He let me in and I let myself fall into his arms.. I couldn't talk because I was crying so hard.. He held me asking me what happened and why I was crying.. All I could say was that Spencer and I were over.. He didn't ask why.. We just stayed there till I fell asleep without knowing.. In the night I woke up and Steve wasn't next to me.. I didn't think where he was.. I closed my eyes once again thinking of her.. Dreaming of my girl..

Next day Steve had the same expression as I had.. I guess being friends for so many years when one hurts the other hurts too.. He didn't ask me about Spencer.. And I couldn't tell him.. Although she told me that she slept with Aiden I couldn't treat her like a cheating whore.. I knew who she was.. I knew her.. And she could never be something like that..

Steve was on and off the next days.. Whenever I looked for him he would tell me that he was somewhere.. I was getting suspicious that maybe he found a girlfriend.. But if he did why he couldn't tell me anything.. From the other hand I was lost to my thoughts of my girl.. I was thinking how I could bring her back to me.. Someone would say that I am crazy.. She cheated on me.. She slept with her ex boyfriend.. Why should I take her back.. Well two reasons.. One is because I love her and second it was my fault.. If I wasn't so pushing with her feelings.. I had to understand that Spencer wasn't open yet.. I couldn't expect her to stand to herself and go out and scream that she was in love with me.. I would but Spencer it's not me.. So I let my emotions overcome me and I lost her.. But I will get her back.. At least I will try..

The days were passing and I was moping to my room.. I didn't want to get out, I didn't want to see anyone except Steve.. All I did was to sit at my balcony watching the mountains.. It calmed me and reminded me of Spencer.. That day though I wanted to get out.. I wanted to be out to the outside world again.. To walk were Spencer and I walked.. I just wanted to feel her again.. Crazy.. But it was what I felt.. So I dressed as warm as I could and found myself out.. I was there for like ten minutes when I felt my heart beating fast.. I didn't know why.. It felt strange but familiar.. It was like Spencer was here.. The connection we both had was something amazing.. I could feel her even if she wasn't near.. I thought I was crazy looking at her balcony.. When I turned my head I saw her.. Well, I saw her long blond hair.. But she was there.. The connection.. I whispered her name and I told her I loved her.. because I did..

I didn't see her anywhere.. I asked Steve several times if he had seen her but when I was asking him about Spencer his whole body changed.. He had this sad face all of a sudden and I didn't know why.. But every time he would say that he hadn't see her and we were stopping right there..

It was a day before the closing ceremony that Steve decided for us to have a night out and enjoy ourselves before we leave.. I wasn't in the mood of going out but Steve insisted and he was very persuaded.. As always.. We would go to that bar we were with Spencer before all this happen.. I didn't want to go there because it held bad memories and all I wanted was to have good memories.. Mine's and Spencer's..

"Come on.. We will have fun.."

"But Steve.. I don't feel like going to that bar.. Last time we were there with Spencer.."

"Ashley.. I.." he seemed like he wanted to tell me something but then he paused and changed the subject.. "I think that we need a night out.. we are still young you know"

"If you think that I can forget Spencer with some other girl you are crazy.. Even if we are not together the exact moment Spencer will be with me.. I can't kiss someone who is not her.."

"Oh.. no.. I would never.. Ashley I know how much you love her.."

"Good.. Because I would rather be alone if not with Spencer"

"I think that you are meant to be.. You will find each other again"

"I hope so.. Now come on.. First drinks are yours"

"Of course my lady"

He drove us to that bar.. When we were outside I paused for some moments.. Took a big breath and stepped in.. We found a little table to the back.. It was crowed and we were lucky that we even found a table..

After some drinks I felt strange again.. Like that day I was out and I sensed Spencer. It was the same feeling.. But now I was feeling like someone was looking at me.. My heart was beating so fast again and if it did that meant that Spencer was near.. When I turned my head to search for her I saw her.. She was looking at me.. Our eyes locked.. I couldn't take my eyes off her.. I smiled.. She was the most beautiful girl in the world..

"Hey.. Who are we checking out?"

"Ehm?"

"I said.. Never mind.. It must be someone special for you to lost yourself.."

I didn't say anything to Steve.. I turned again to Spencer.. Now she was looking somewhere else.. She was with Jenna and Summer.. I haven't seen them either.. And all together we were a great company..

"Ashley.. I see.. Indeed someone is special..." Steve said looking at Spencer and then me..

"She is here Steve.."

"I know.."

"What should I do?"

"I don't know Ash.. What you want to do?"

"I want to take her in my arms and kiss her till we both need air to breathe"

"Well.. I suggest you talk to her first before you take her in your arms and kiss her"

"Steve.. I am hurting so much.." I said feeling my eyes tearing again.. My eyes still locked at her beauty.. This time she was looking at me back..

"Well.. how about we both go there and say a hi to the girls.. Are you ok with that?"

"What if she doesn't want me there Steve? She broke up with me.."

"Well.. one way to find out.."

He stood up giving me his hand to follow him.. And I did.. I was following him to my love.. All time looking at Spencer.. Once she saw us moving to their side I saw her becoming nervous.. I guess she didn't want to talk to me..

"Heya girls.. Good to see you two.. Where have you been?" Spencer looked anywhere but me.. Jenna and Summer hugged Steve and I and they seemed so happy to see us.. My mind though were somewhere else.. My eyes were looking someone else.. Like no one was here except Spencer and I..

"Ashley.. were have you been? I haven't seen you anywhere.."

"Here.. I was here" I said while looking at Spencer.. She still wasn't looking at me.. But I could see her body relax.. I so wanted to take her in my arms.. To feel her again..

"Well we didn't see you anywhere.. It was like you vanished from earth" Jenna was humorous and funny.. It was a girl that you could call a friend.. I am glad Spencer had her.. And Summer was the perfect girl.. Together with Jenna was the perfect couple..

"Spencer? How are you?" Steve asked her but his question had a different meaning of just a simple question of how she was.. It was more of a concern..

"I am fine.. Thanks Steve" I thought I would never hear her voice again.. It was like angelic.. This time I had to speak to her.. I needed to talk with her.. She was someone I loved very much..

"Spencer?" she turned once she heard my voice.. I didn't care for others being next to us.. For me it was only her.. "I missed you"

She didn't say anything.. I wanted for her to tell me she missed me too.. That we were both stupid and that we belonged to each other.. But she didn't.. I saw tears in her eyes. She stood up and stepped outside.. I found myself having the same tears as hers.. Steve, Jenna and Summer were looking at me and then at each other.. I stood up to follow her outside but Steve stopped me..

"Let me go instead.."

"But Steve.."

"Ashley, is better for me to go.. Ok?"

"Ok"

It was strange because Jenna didn't go and Steve was the one to follow her outside.. I didn't look more into that.. I hoped that she would come back.. And if she could come back to me I would be happier..

After like fifteen minutes or more I saw Spencer and Steve coming inside.. Spencer seemed better and whatever Steve told her I have to thank him..

"I am sorry for earlier.." she said talking to everyone but looking at me..

'Spencer.. It's fine.. Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, Jenna.. Thank you"

"Do you want for us to leave? If so just tell me and we are out" NO.. I don't want for her to leave me.. I want for her to stay here with me.. I just want to stay here looking at her..

"Yes.. please.. If you don't mind?"

Jenna and Summer stood up to leave and I was there seeing Spencer leaving me one more time.. The girls said their goodbyes to me and Steve as Spencer did the same but only to Steve.. I was there hanging for just a word of hers.. She was ready to leave when she looked back one more time to where I was.. She moved closer and I think my heart was beating faster that ever did.. She cupped my face with her hand and told me..

"I am sorry.. Know that I love you.." Before I understand what just happened she was nowhere to be seen.. I didn't have the chance to tell her that I love her back.. I felt Steve's strong arms holding me and I am glad because if he didn't I think I would laying on the floor..

"Steve? Did you hear her? Did you hear what she said?"

"Yes.. Ashley.. Spencer never stopped loving you.. Don't you ever forget that"

"But why we are not together? Why?"

"When it is the right time you will be together again.. Have faith.."

Have faith.. I do have faith.. I so want to believe Steve.. But I can't be the only one who tries.. At least I know that Spencer loves me.. Not that I questioned her love but it was good to know after all that.. I will try to win her back.. To persuade her that we are perfect for each other and to stop being stupid.. To tell her that I love her..

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**TBC**

**26 chapters.. Well I don't know how many chapters left but we are getting closer and closer to the end..**

**Reviews are always welcome..**

**xx**


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

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When I saw her there my heart beat so fast.. She was there.. We were looking at each other.. I couldn't take my eyes off her.. Although I saw that smile of hers that I so love her eyes showed the same pain mines had.. When she stood up and moved forward to where we were I got nervous.. Why? I don't know.. It's because of everything that happened all these days.. The days I was without her..

Steve greeted us, Ashley by his side as the girls kissed them both.. Steve after what happened was next to me every day.. he promised that he didn't tell Ashley a thing.

Ashley was looking at me all the time.. Even when the girls were talking to her.. Her eyes were on mine.. Her beautiful brown eyes.. I missed her.. I did.. I am such an idiot.. I had to tell her what happened.. Even though she thinks I fucked Aiden she is still here.. Looking at me.. But something inside of me tells me that if I ever told her about what happened she would think of me less..

I was lost in thoughts of her when I heard my name.. _'Spencer'.. _I turned to her side and look at her.. I missed her voice_.. 'I missed you'. _She missed me.. She still loves me. I am just an idiot.. Everything is so fucked up.. I am so fucked up.. I felt tears on my face and I couldn't stay there.. I had to leave.. I felt like I couldn't breathe..

I was outside.. I didn't expect Ashley to come and find me.. If she did maybe I would tell her the truth and finish with all this.. If she wanted to be with me after that then we would be ok.. But if she didn't then my heart would be crushed.. I felt someone next to me.. It wasn't Ashley because I would feel her.. It was Steve though.. Always next to me.. Always caring..

"Spence? Are you ok?"

"Not really Steve.. Not really"

"Spencer.."

"I know.. I can't keep doing this to her and to me.. I know what I have to do but I.."

"She loves you.. So very much"

"And I love her too"

"Do you know what she told me today?"

"What?"

"I told her that we should go out and have fun.. She thought I was talking about her finding another girl so she could forget about you.. Do you know what she told me? That she could never go with another girl again.. She prefers to be alone than not be with you.."

When I heard Steve saying this to me I broke into tears once again.. I was hurting both of us..

"She did?"

"Yes.. That is why I can't bear the thought of you being separate.. You belong to her as she belongs to you.. Simple as that"

"I wish everything was that easy Steve.."

"We make them easy.. You just choose to take the hard way.. But there is always the easy way too.. It is in your hand Spencer"

"Thank you. For everything.. I mean it"

"No need to thank me.. Now.. Are you ready to come inside?"

"I think I am.."

Once we were inside again I saw her looking at me and I smiled at her.. Jenna asked me if I wanted for us to go.. Right now it would be the best.. I couldn't stand hurting Ashley more than I already did..

The girls said their goodbyes to Steve and Ashley and we were to leave.. But something told me to come back.. I had to talk to her one more time.. I had to tell her how I felt about her..

When I returned she seemed confused.. I came closer to her and I cupped her cheek with my hand.. She was so warm.. She was looking at me straight in my eyes and then I told her what I needed for her to know.. _'I am sorry.. Know that I love you'_

I didn't want for her to say anything.. Once I told her that I loved her I followed the girls outside.. Tears on my eyes.. I had to stop crying..

Jenna and Summer knew not to ask me anything.. They knew I was hurting over Ashley as I knew that if I needed them they would be there for me..

Once we were back I collapsed to my bed thinking what happened with Aiden.. Thinking of Ashley.. And thinking how stupid I am..

Next day was already here.. The Winter Olympics were finished and we all waited for the Closing Ceremony to take place and then leave.. Back to our homes.. Back to our beloved ones.. Back to our practices for the next Olympics..

I tried to avoid everyone that day.. Especially Ashley.. I knew that after what I told her she would find me to tell me that we were stupid and that she loved me too.. And if she would find me I would come back to her arms.. Because I was dying without her.. I promised myself that when we are finish from here I would tell her.. I would tell her what happened and then it will be her choice if she would want me back or not.. But not yet..

All teams from all over the world were inside the stadium.. It was nice actually.. I was with my team and I tried not to be seen by Ashley.. The truth is that I didn't see her anywhere.. That was good eh?

We didn't stay another day in Canada.. After the Closing Ceremony we had our bags packed ready to leave.. This place held good memories and bad.. But I will keep the good memories.. I will keep Ashley with me..

I didn't see her even when we were at the airport.. But how could I? American team consisted of so many athletes and I wasn't close to the snowboard team.. I was with Jenna and Summer.. These girls were always together.. I thought that Ashley and I would be like this.. We were like this..

"Spencer? Earth to Spencer?"

"Ehm?"

"Where you gone?"

"I was thinking"

"Of Ashley?" like I could think of anything and anyone else

"I hadn't see her anywhere.. Did you see her?"

"Actually no.. Why?"

"No reason.. I just.."

"Spencer I don't know why you broke up but I see you two and you love each other very much.. Whenever you feel ok to talk I will be here.. you know that"

"Thanks Jenna.."

"You are welcome.. Now.. Are you ready to come back home?"

"Yes and no."

I remembered when I was talking with Ashley and we were saying what we were going to do after.. I would move with her or she would come to move with me.. Look at us now.. She is going back to Colorado and I am coming back to my parents..

"Now that Aiden is in jail what you will do with ice skating? And I didn't ask you.. Do you have a clue why Aiden is in jail?"

I thanked God that Jenna didn't know about Aiden and the reasons why he was behind bars..

"Ehm.. No.. I didn't ask.. About the ice skating I don't know.. I was thinking I could go back to figure skating alone.. I don't want to be paired any more.."

"I haven't seen you figure skating alone for years.. I think you are very good Spence"

"I think I am going to try that and we will see"

After our check in we waited for an hour so we could go to our gate and leave.. All team would be in one airplane.. We would land to JFK and then everyone would take another flight to go to their home.. Mine.. Ohio..

Although in the same plane I still couldn't find Ashley.. I didn't know why.. It was like something was keeping us apart.. I couldn't get up and start searching the plane for her.. Although I would love it if she searched for me.. I remember the first time I saw her, in the same plane.. 20 days ago.. I don't even know her for a month and here I am falling hard for her and feeling like we were together for years and not for weeks.. But that's what love is.. Isn't it?

Ashley's POV

I can't believe that I didn't see her anywhere.. It was like someone was keeping her away from me.. It is not possible to be at the same place at the same time and not be able to find her.. I didn't see her at the closing ceremony, I didn't see her at the airport and I didn't see her inside the plane.. I couldn't get up and start searching for her.. That would be crazy.. Not that I wouldn't go crazy for Spencer.. I am crazy in love with her and if I were to find her I would tell her.. Grrr.. It makes me frustrated..

I would wait till we were at JFK so I could search for her.. We were going to be at the same place waiting for our bags.. If I didn't see her there I didn't know what I was going to do.. We would take our separate ways.. I would be in Colorado and she would be in Ohio.. I must find her..

The bad thing is that my team was sitting at the back of the plane.. If Spencer was sitting at the front she would go out first.. Once we were landed and everyone got up from their sits I pushed one or two.. Ok maybe more, so that I could be there and wait for her..

It was crowed from all the athletes waiting for their bags.. I wasn't looking for my bag but for a blond girl who stole my heart.. I was there waiting when I heard two girls talk.. I didn't know them or what was their sport.. You think because I am an American athlete I should know of everyone.. I wasn't the one who would hear what others say but they caught my attention when I heard about Aiden..

"Did you know that they caught Aiden Denninson?"

"Yeah.. I wonder why though.."

"I know.."

"Shut up.. How?"

"I have my connections"

At first I was surprised.. I didn't know that Aiden was in prison.. But how could I? All these days I was locked inside my room and I didn't speak with anyone..

"So? Are you going to share?"

"Rape"

"SHUT UP"

WHAT? Aiden? He was inside jail because he raped someone?

"Oh no I am not.. Do you know what I heard also? I know who the person was"

"Please tell me.."

"His ex girlfriend.. Spencer Carlin"

I think I didn't hear well.. I think that I am going to throw up.. Is she for real? Is she serious? No she can't be.. How? When? What the fuck is going on? I had to ask this girl.. Oh, my God..

"Excuse me.. Aiden Denninson raped Spencer Carlin?"

"Ehm yes.."

"How do you know about that?"

"I can't say.." I was getting angry now..

"Please tell me it is not true"

"What is your problem? Did you know the guy?"

"How you know that? Why I didn't know that? Why she didn't tell me anything?"

I was talking to myself now.. I think that those girls were thinking that I was crazy or something.. I fell to the floor with my hands on my head, crying.. I couldn't believe what I just heard.. It is not true.. It must not be true.. It can't be.. My Spencer? My girl? Raped? No.. It isn't true.. I must find Steve.. I think I am going crazy.. Where is Steve?

"Ashley? What are you doing at the floor?"

"STEVE" I hugged him the moment I saw him next to me.. I hugged him and cried on his shoulders..

"hey now.. What is going on?"

"Spencer.."

"Spencer what?"

"Did you know that Spencer was raped by Aiden?"

When I asked him he made a step back and had his eyes down.. Like he knew something I didn't.. That's it.. He knew..

"You knew? You knew and you didn't tell me? How could you? How could you Steve?"

"It was not my place.. Spencer asked me not to.. I wanted to tell you Ash.. I wanted but Spencer wouldn't leave me.. She didn't want to think of her less"

"How could you? I am your friend Steve.. I can't believe you.."

"Please Ashley.. She needed to tell you by herself.."

"Why? Why?"

"You have to ask her.. I am so sorry"

"Did you see her anywhere?"

"No, I didn't"

"I must find her"

"What are you going to say to her Ash?"

"That I love her"

I left Steve not caring for my bags.. I left Steve searching for my girl.. She thought I would care less of her? She thought I would leave her if I knew? We would be together in this.. Oh..Spencer.. Why you are so stupid?

I was looking for her like crazy.. I was running up and down to find a blond.. A blond that every time she was near me I could feel my heart beat so fast.. When I was sure that I lost her I saw her.. I felt her.. She was walking with Jenna and Summer to their other flight.. I needed to talk to her.. I screamed her name but she didn't listen..

"SPENCER.. SPENCER WAIT"

Once she heard my voice she stopped and looked where this voice was coming from.. I pushed some people away, running to catch her.. Before she leave me.. I needed her to know.. I needed her to know that I loved her and to tell her she was stupid.. So so stupid..

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**TBC**

**Well what do you think? Hope you liked it..**

**Reviews are always welcome..**


	28. Chapter 28

**Have a great weekend and have some fun.. It's an early update but I would not be able to update today.. So I am working and writing.. I will back on Sunday so I won't be able to update.. Once I am home I will start writing again.. So stay with me.. We are not finished yet..**

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**Chapter 28**

Once I heard my name, once I heard Ashley calling my name I paused.. I was looking for her all day and now she was there.. And she looked like she was crying.. She looked frustrated.. She was pushing everyone to get to me.. Jenna and Summer were next to me and they stopped when they heard my name..

"Spencer? Is it Ashley?"

"Yes"

"Why is she running?"

"I don't know"

"Do you want us to stay?"

"No.. Go and I will find you.. It's ok"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes Jenna. Everything is alright.. Go.. I will come in a minute"

Once the girls left I was looking at Ashley who was out of breath..

"Spencer"

She stopped to take a breath, her hands on her knees.. Why she was running? I thought that after the last night we would never see each other again.. Not that I wasn't hoping for that..

"Ashley? Why are you running?"

"I was running to catch you.. I was looking for you all day.."

"Ok?"

"Spencer? Why Aiden is in jail?" ok.. I didn't see that coming.. How she found out about Aiden? Steve? I don't think that he would tell her.. He promised me..

"Eh? I don't know what are you talking about.."

"Spencer I know that Aiden is in jail.. Why?" what I am telling her? Is it the right time? Here?

"I.. I.. don't know.."

"Spencer.. please.. I want you tell me.. Why?" she knew? How? I thought no one knew.. But I guess bad news it's easier to learn than good news..

"What do you want me to tell you Ash?"

"I want you to tell me the truth.. What really happened that night"

"Ashley.." she came closer and took my hands in hers.. She looked at me with so much love.. It was the same love I had for her.. And she deserved the truth.. Even if it was too late..

"Aiden is in jail with charges of rape.. That night you saw us.. He.. He.." I couldn't continue.. Tears were falling from my eyes and I fell to the floor.. Ashley with me taking me in her arms.. How I missed her hugs.. How I missed her..

"Oh.. baby.. I am so sorry.. I am so sorry for everything.. It is my fault.."

"It is not your fault Ash.. It is not my fault.. It's his.." we were there holding each other.. Ashley and I crying to each others' shoulder.. I couldn't believe she thought it was her fault..

"Baby.. why you didn't tell me? Did you think that I would care less for you?"

"I felt ashamed Ash.. I couldn't look at you after what happened.. My body is only for you to touch and after Aiden's assault I just couldn't think.. I was afraid.."

"Spence.. I love you.. With all my heart.. But you are an idiot and I am.. So we make the perfect couple.."

"Couple?"

"Eh dah.. You are my girl.. You are my soul.. And it's the last time we both act stupid.."

"Awww Ash.. I love you so much.. So much.."

We were still down the floor hugging each other.. People passing by looking at us but I didn't care.. Ashley was with me.. Ashley was there holding me.. And that is what mattered..

I couldn't believe that I was so stupid for not telling her.. For losing 10 days of us because of that.. I couldn't erase my rape but Ashley would be with me, holding my hand..

"You are so stupid.. So stupid Spence.."

"I am.. So.. I am your girl?"

"And much more.. Baby.. the way I feel about you I never felt it with no one.. You are my soul mate.. So whatever happens to you again please tell me because I hurt only in thought that you were hurting and I wasn't there for you.."

"I promise.."

"Now can I kiss you? Is it ok with you?" I couldn't love her more.. She was so caring.. The truth is that I don't know if I was ready yet after everything with Aiden.. But it was her.. It was my Ashley.. The girl I loved so much.. I could kiss her but I don't know if I could be intimate with her.. We had to wait for a while for that..

"Please do.. Take him out of my mind Ash.."

She leaned closer and cupped my face with both her hands.. Her touch was something I missed so much.. She felt so good.. She leaned closer and just before she kiss me she told me _'I love you'.._

It was a tender kiss.. She didn't deepen the kiss.. Ashley knew that maybe I wasn't ready for that.. She kissed my lips and once I felt her lips on mine I wanted her.. I wanted to feel her again.. I missed all of her.. I licked her bottom lip telling her that I wanted that.. I wanted her.. She looked at me asking my permission and I just nodded.. She kissed me once again, like minutes ago but this time her tongue licking my bottom lip, kisses asking for permission that had granted.. Our tongues battle in a sensation and a kiss that could blow your mind.. My Ashley.. My girl..

We were lost to each other when we interrupted from both our friends.. From Ashley's side it was Steve and from mine it was Jenna..

"Ehem.. Sorry to interrupt but girls we have flights to catch.." I loved Steve very much but right now I wanted to hit him on his face..

"Yeah, Spence.. We have to go to our gate.. We have like thirty minutes left.."

Ashley and I looked at each other, talking with only our eyes.. I knew what she was thinking as she knew what I was thinking.. This night our friends would return back home alone.. This night Ashley and I would stay here..

"You can go back Steve.. I'll catch another flight tomorrow or the day after"

"Yeah me too Jenna.. I will call my dad to tell him that.."

"Let me say that you are crazy.. Both of you but I love you guys.. I am glad you are together again.."

I stood up and hugged Steve.. he was a great friend and I would love for him to be Ashley's best man when we are going to marry.. Wow.. Was I thinking of Ashley's and mines wedding? Probably did.. I was thinking of us married, children running around us.. A house full of love..

"Thank you for everything.."

"I am glad that you told her"

"I didn't.. She just found out.. But I told her myself what happened.."

"Take good care of my girl.. Ok?"

"With my heart.."

Ashley came to my side putting her hand behind my back and kissing my neck.. That night I promised myself not to be such an idiot again and to trust Ashley's love..

We went to find her bag which was the only one left doing circles and circles.. I laughed at this..

"You left your things here? You didn't care if you lost it?"

"The only thing I was thinking was not to lose you.. Clothes are easy to buy again.. As bags.. But it is really hard to find another Spencer.. So.. yes.. I didn't care for my things.. I care about you"

"You are a sweet talker.. But I think you already know that"

"Ssshhh.. don't want anyone to find out.."

"You are cute.."

"I am not cute Spence.. Take that back"

"You are so so cute.."

"Wait till we go back to our hotel.."

"Now I am afraid.. What will you do.. Kill me with cuteness?"

She didn't say anything else.. She knew when to back off.. And she was cute.. So cute..

We found a room to a hotel near the airport.. We didn't book another flight because we didn't know what we were going to do.. Colorado or Ohio.. Because I was ready to follow her if she asked me to..

"My princess.. Here is our room.. Make yourself comfortable."

"Ash.. This is huge.. This is.. This is.."

"A honey moon suite.."

"A honey moon suite? Ash.. It's expensive"

"Nothing for you it's expensive.. And by the way I didn't mention that I have some money.. Well.. I have a lot of them.. You don't need to work.. I can be the one who provides with everything.."

"Ash.."

Ashley was a closed book.. For her sharing things with me it meant a lot.. I wouldn't pressure her for anything.. For now her past was still blurry to me.. All I knew was that her father was someone special for her because she talked about him with so much love.. I didn't know anything about her family.. Only that she lived in Canada when she was younger..

"Spence.. I could do anything for you.. And I mean anything.. I feel so close to you that sometimes it scares me because I know you for days and it's like we have been together for years.. It's like something was missing and once I found you I feel complete again.."

"Baby, I feel the same.. I don't know how but what we both feel it's amazing and I want to hold that as much as possible.."

"Spence.. I know that there is a lot things you don't know about me.. I want to tell.."

I stopped her there.. I didn't want for her to feel obligated to tell me.. I wanted for her to come to me slowly..

"Ash.. no.. I understand.. When the time comes I will be here listening to what you want to tell me.. I will be here and hold your hand.. Ok? I don't mind.. I do want to know more things about you but right now I want to be with you.. Ok?"

"How I got so lucky?"

"Well I ask myself the same thing.."

"We are ok?"

"We are better than ok.. We are perfect.."

We took our separate showers.. I loved that she was giving me my space.. Once I finished I found her laying in our bed looking at the ceiling with one of her hands on her forehead.. She looked deep in thought.. I came closer and I got under the sheets and hugged her..

"What were you thinking?"

"Us" she said turning her face looking at me..

"What about us?"

"Spence.. if you want me to move to Ohio just tell me and I am booking my flight tomorrow.. I would find a house near yours and we would be together.."

"What if I want to move to Colorado?"

"I would be happy but baby you have your life there.. Your parents are there.. I don't have anyone back to Colorado.. My life is with you now"

I felt the pain in her words.. Ashley was a strong person.. Sometimes I felt her pain when she talked about her dad.. She missed him a lot.. But I didn't know where the guy was.. And why she wasn't with him..

"Ash.. I am 22.. Don't need my parents to tell me what to do or not to do.. Sure I will miss them but there is something we call phone and something we call web cam.. I will miss my father more.. Not that I don't love my mom but after everything that happened I just can't bear being with her in the same room"

"So what are we doing?"

"I am coming with you.."

"Are you sure baby? I don't want for you to regret it after.. I don't have a problem moving to Ohio"

"I won't regret it.. Believe me.. I just don't know how my father and my mother will react to all this.. And they don't know about the rape.."

"What if we book two tickets to Ohio? I could come with you and we could tell them together.. I want to be there for you Spence.."

"I don't know Ash.. It is difficult. How I will tell my parents what happened?"

"It won't be easy but we are going to be together.. So.. what do you say? Should I book those tickets?"

I thought for a moment.. I should tell them what happened as I should have tell Ashley.. They have to know.. And after that I would move with Ashley..

"Yes.."

"Ok.."

She took her phone and booked those tickets.. Tomorrow we would be back to Ohio.. Back to my parents.. Was I scared? Of course.. But what was keeping me sane was Ashley.. She would be there for me..

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**TBC**

**Ok chapter 28 is up.. I am thinking of 30 to 31 chapters for this story.. It depends though of my imagination..**

**Reviews are always welcome..**

**xx**


	29. Chapter 29

**Hey guys.. I am back from my weekend off and I am here writing my favorite story.. Happy to see new friends and old friends.. Thank you all for your wonderful reviews.. It is really good to read your thoughts.. So lets see what is going to happen.. Enjoy the new chapter..**

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**Chapter 29**

I was afraid.. I was afraid because I was going to see my parents and tell them what happened.. How you tell your parents that someone they knew as the perfect guy abused their daughter? How you tell your father and mother that someone took something so important.. Your dignity.. I thank God for Ashley though.. She said she would hold my hand and that she did.. In our way back home she was holding my hand.. She didn't need to say anything.. She was there laying her head on my shoulders, caressing my hand, linking our fingers.. I knew it wouldn't be easy for her but I was glad I had her with me..

I said to myself enough times that maybe I shouldn't tell them anything.. I could call them and tell them that I am moving with Ashley and that's it.. But I didn't want to do that to my dad.. He didn't deserve it.. Then Ashley reading my thoughts she would tell me that I can't keep it a secret.. Someday they would find out and then it would be worst.. For now not many people knew that Aiden was in jail because of me.. Sooner or later more people they would found out.. Aiden and I were the golden kids.. Not literally since we never got the gold but we were well known for our sport and we were the best..

The one hour and a half flight from JFK to Ohio seemed like a month.. Every time I would look back to Ashley and she would give me that smile I love.. I could do it.. We could it.. Together.. Ashley and me..

Clearly I didn't tell my dad that we were here.. I wanted to surprise them.. Surprise surprise.. look who is back.. Ashley thought of renting a car so we could move easier through town.. I thought she would rent a small car.. No.. She rent a porshe.. A porshe.. from crying out loud.. I was with my mouth open when I saw her coming closer..

"hey sexy.. Wanna a ride?"

"Ash? What is this?"

"Eh.. I believe it's car.. An awesome car actually"

"Ash.. This is a porshe.."

"Nice baby.. You love?"

"Ash.. This is expensive and it draws attention"

"Where is the problem?"

"Well.. I don't have a fucking clue.. Are you ready?"

"Meet Paula Carlin for the second time? Ohhh yes.. Bring it on.."

"Promise never leave me?"

"Never"

She leaned closer and gave me a kiss.. She put her glasses on and we drove to my house.. My house and my mom.. Why I was afraid again?

Once we were outside my home I stayed inside the car looking at my house door.. Ashley sensed my hesitance and she put her hands on my face turning my gaze on hers..

"Spence.. I am here.. ok? We can do this together.. And if it gets wrong I will be there holding your hand.. ok?"

I took one big breath, I told her I loved her and I opened my door.. It was now or ever..

I knocked the door.. you would say that since I live here and it is my house I should open with my keys.. Yes.. Well I would rather to knock this time.. I heard footsteps and I wished it was my father but when the door opened it was no one else that my beloved mother..

"Spencer.. Sweetie.. I am so glad you are here.." ok.. bi polar much? Last time I remember her not being herself.. She hugged me when she noticed that I wasn't alone.. "Ashley"

"Hello Mrs Carlin. Nice to see you again"

"What are you doing here?"

"Mom.."

"What is she doing here Spencer?"

"She came with me.."

"I can't believe you.. How you dare bringing her here? To my house?"

"Mom.. you are making a scene.. Can we please continue this inside? We don't need your beloved neighbors know that your daughter is gay.." I said while whispering the word gay..

Of course she let us get inside.. She would never want her neighbors find out about the gay couple.. Heaven forbid..

"Spencer you are not gay"

"Mom.. you are in denial.. I think I made myself clear to you when I told you that I love Ashley and we are together.. So.. I believe that makes me gay and in love with Ashley.. Where is dad?"

"At work"

"We will be waiting inside my room.. When he comes I want to tell you something both.. Actually we want to tell you something.. As in Ashley and I in case you were wondering.."  
"Spencer I will never accept this.."

"I didn't ask you to"

How I was so strong defending my relationship with Ashley infront of my mother I don't know.. I guess Ashley being here with me and holding my hand was my strength..

"Are you pregnant? That's what you want to tell us?"

"I believe that it would be difficult for Ashley to leave me pregnant since she is a girl.. When dad comes home please tell us."

I didn't say anything else.. I just took Ashley and guided her upstairs to my room..

"See? That wasn't too difficult"

"Give me your hand"

I took her hand and placed it to my heart that was beating like crazy.. I held her hand for a minute looking at her eyes..

"Can you feel my heart?" she just nodded.. "It was too difficult to confront her but you were there and everything seemed easier"

"She was funny actually.. She thought you were pregnant? How could you be pregnant?"

My mind went back to that day that I had to go to the doctor's and see if I was ok after Aiden.. He told me that I was but to do some tests.. Tests I never did and now my heart beats again for different reasons..

"Spence? What is it baby? Did I say something wrong?"

"No.. It's just.. Well.. Shit.."

"Baby? What is going on? Please tell me"

"Ash.. I..I.." she took my hand in hers and placed a kiss to the inside and she put my hand to her heart..

"Can you feel my heart? It beats that way only for you.. So.. Please baby.. What is it?"

"Ash.. That night.. Aiden.. I.. can't remember if he came inside me or not.. I went to a doctor and he said that I was ok but I should do some tests.. I never did those tests Ash.."

I was nervous for her reaction.. I didn't know what to expect.. All I did know was that I was hoping she would still want to keep my hand..

"Well then.. Once we are over from here we are going to the doctor's"

"Ash..

"We are going to do those tests and I will be there holding your hand.." I was crying.. I was in her arms crying like a little baby.. I can't be that lucky and have her as mine.. I must be dreaming..

"I love you Ashley Davies"

"And I love you Spencer Carlin"

"What if the tests are affirmative?"

"Well.. I don't know.. We will see then.. We will do whatever you want to do.. Ok?"

"Yes.."

"Good.. Now stop crying baby because I can't see you crying.."

I let myself fall into her arms one more time.. It felt so good to know she would be there with me.. We were kissing when I heard a knock at my door..

"Do I have to close my eyes to get in?"

"Daddy.."

"Hey baby girl.. I missed you.."

"Missed you to honey.. Ashley? Good to see you here.. How are you?"

Ashley got up and met my father in the halfway.. They hugged each other so warm and it saddens me that my mother couldn't be supportive as my dad..

"How you feel that these Olympics are over?"

"Actually I am feeling fine Mr C.. I got one thing I wanted for so long.."

"Your gold eh? Nice job Ashley"

"Thank you Mr. C. but I wasn't talking for my gold though.. I was talking for your daughter who stole my heart"

I looked at her and I had to pinch myself so I knew that all this was real.. That she was real and she was mine.. I took my side next to her and held her hand.. This gesture was our safety net.. This gesture meant everything to us.. I knew she was here and she knew I was there for her..

"Ok.. Dinner it's ready and let me tell you that your mother is fuming downstairs.. She told me you have something to tell us Spencer?"

"Actually we both have something to tell you.."

"Ok my girl.. What if we join your mother?"

"Perfect" That was sarcastic if you didn't catch it..

Once Ashley and I were in the dinning room my mom gave us the look of 'get out of my house you little lesbians'.. I was glad my dad was there because although I know Ashley is next to me it's hard your own mother doesn't accept you.. It just hurts..

We were eating in full silence.. Sometimes I could see my mom looking at us but she never said anything.. Guess my dad had to do something with that..

"So girls.. Your mother told me you had something to tell us.. Well? Why don't you share with us.."

I looked at Ashley and she just said 'we are ok'.. I would start with the good news.. Or my good news.. I don't know if they are good news to them since I am moving with Ashley..

"Well.. Mom, dad.. You know that I love Ashley and she loves me back.. Since Ash lives in Colorado and I live here we thought that it would be best if one of us moved to where the other lives.. That means we already discussed it and I am moving with Ashley"

None of my parents spoke.. Neither my dad who was looking at me like I had three heads.. Not to mention my mom.. I would rather not.. Because she was red and standing looking at Ashley and me..

"WHAT?"

"Mom"

"Paula"

"NO.. You are not going anywhere.. Are you listening to me? You are to young to take such a decision.. And to live with her?"

"She has a name.. You seem to forget that.." now it was my time to stand up and look at her.. "And you seem to forget that I am 22.. So it is MY choice to do whatever I like.. Whether you like or not"

"She changed you.. You weren't like this.. You were good.. You had a boyfriend.. Such a good boy.. How you did that to Aiden?"

Aiden? How I did THAT to Aiden?

"You don't have a fucking clue about Aiden 'mom'"

"Spencer, please don't talk like that to your mother"

"Dad.. She doesn't have a clue.. Not you nor mom have a clue about Aiden" I felt my eyes wet and I knew that tears were coming and I couldn't hold them anymore.. Aiden's topic was still a shore..

"Honey what's the matter?"

"Aiden.. Aiden.." I couldn't continue.. I just couldn't.. Ashley held my hand and stood by my side..

"Mr C, Mrs Carlin.. What Spencer wanted to tell you was that.. ehm.. Aiden back in Canada.. ehm.. He raped Spencer"

My mother sat back to the couch.. My dad was still standing with surprise written in his eyes.. And me.. well I was crying in Ashley's arms..

"How? When?"

"NO.. It's a lie.. It can't be.. NO"

Both my parents were socked to say the least.. Thank God Ashley was the one who told them.. When the time came I couldn't.. It was like I was reliving the same scene over and over.. And I wanted him out of my life.. Once and for all..

"Where were you Ashley? Where were you when this happened? I guess that's how much you love my daughter eh? Leaving her and someone comes and rape her? WHERE WERE YOU?"

"She was at her room mom.." I wouldn't tell them ever what happened between us and how that night went on.. "I thought of drinking some and then Aiden came and he pushed himself on me.."

I sat back to the other couch with my hands on my head while crying..

"Baby.. ssshhh.. I am here.. Ok? Don't cry please.. I am here" Ashley said while she had her hands round my waist..

"Spence? Why you didn't tell anything?"

"I couldn't dad.. What I would say to you over the phone? It's not something you tell while being in another country"

"Where is Aiden now?"

"I put charges and he is still in Canada.. In jail.. I guess they can't keep him there and he will be back to the states to sit in judgement.."

"Aww Spence.. My dear girl.." he came closer and put his hands behind my back and kissed my forehead.. I still felt strange with any male close to me.. But I had to let go because that wasn't healthy and if I continued I would lose myself day by day..

My mom was still looking at us, not telling anything.. When I thought she was leaving she came closer and did the same with my dad.. She kissed my forehead and hugged me.. I needed her to be there with me.. I needed my mom..

"He will get what he deserves and nothing more.. I am sorry Spencer for pushing you to him.. I had to know that he was bad news.. I feel it's my fault.."

"It's no ones fault mom.."

"Mrs Carlin.. I want you to know that I love your daughter very much.. She is everything to me.. When I found out I wanted to kill him for what he did to our girl.. I hated him.."

Our girl.. When Ashley used this word I saw my mother's face.. It wasn't the stern one.. It was more sweet but it held sadness.. I didn't expect to love Ashley after an hour.. I wanted her though to accept her as the girl I am so in love with..

"I am sure he be put in jail for years.. I have connections.. I am so sorry Spencer.. I am so sorry"

"Mom.. I am ok now.. Do you know why? The reason is right next to me.. The reason I can sleep at night now is Ashley.. And I am not leaving her.. Ok?"

"Spencer.."

"I am just saying.. And I just want for you to know.. Ashley and I stick together.. For better and for worst.."

And we already faced the worst.. Now I am hoping for the best to come.. Together..

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**TBC**

**Ok.. Maybe I won't finish it yet.. Two chapters is too soon.. What do you think?**

**Reviews are always welcome**

**xx**


	30. Chapter 30

**Ok.. I say it every Monday.. I will say it again.. I hate Mondays.. Hope you had a great weekend.. Here is the new chapter..**

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**Chapter 30**

All these years I was a girl following rules that others planned for me.. All these years I was a beloved daughter, a caring girlfriend, and excellent athlete.. Always asking for more.. Always wanting to be better.. Always alone..

I never thought of meeting Ashley.. I never thought of liking her and wanting to meet her.. And surely I never thought that I would fall in love with her.. I am falling for her every day.. Every minute.. Every second.. I couldn't believe how stupid I was for keeping her away from me.. Those days I felt like we were apart for years.. I promised myself that I would never keep something from her again.. Good or bad.. We still had a lot to talk about.. I thank her for not asking me more that I could give.. I thank her for just being here.. That's all I wanted..

When she told my parents what happened I thought I could not love her more.. She stood by my side.. She held my hand as she promised she would.. She faced my mother knowing the outcome.. We were together in this.. In all this..

My parents although they were next to me I could feel their sadness.. Their surprise over Aiden.. Especially my mom's.. Aiden was her golden boy.. The perfect guy for her daughter.. She dreamed of me marrying him and starting our family.. How wrong she was.. Aiden wasn't the golden boy she thought and he wasn't the person I wanted to marry and start a family..

All that I think about is what if I am carrying Aiden's child? What am I doing then? Do I keep it? Do I keep my rapist's child? And if I will how Ashley and I will be? She told me we would talk about it later.. I knew she would be next to me.. But if I was to get pregnant I wanted my child to be Ashley's and mine.. I wanted to be ours.. To start together.. Day by day.. Step by step.. I know it's too soon to think of us like this.. We are not even moved together and here I am thinking of having Ashley's baby.. Guess I have to stop thinking too much and live my life with her as I dreamed it..

My dad suggested of us staying at home.. At first I thought about to decline it.. But we needed to be together.. All of us.. I told my parents that Ashley would not sleep anywhere but my bed.. My mother didn't want to of course and made it clear.. She is still in denial.. My father from the other hand was the one to keep our conversation low.. He said that Ashley and I could sleep to the same bed because clearly that was what we needed.. And I needed Ashley to hold me..

"Spence.. It's ok.. I can sleep somewhere else.. It's not a problem really"

"You are not sleeping anywhere but next to me.. Am I clear?"

"I like it when you are bossy" she said with a huge grin.. How I wanted her.. I wanted to feel her once again.. To take Aiden away.. For me to be hers again.. I missed all of her.. And sooner or later I had to let go..

"You are such a perv"

"Only with you baby.. Spence.." she said my name with a pleading tone.. I knew what she wanted to say.. I knew because we felt the same.. From the beginning.. I came closer to her and hugged her.. Letting my head touch her crook of her neck.. Staying there, leaving my kisses to her smooth skin.. make patterns to her low back..

"I know.. Baby I need you.." I said looking her eyes and touching her forehead with mine.. My hands capping her face.. A moment where we both felt nothing but love..

Was I ready to be intimate with her again? My body screamed no but my heart screamed yes.. I wanted to feel her touching me again.. I wanted to be able to remember Ashley and only Ashley.. I saw she was hesitant.. She would never do something to hurt me and I loved her for that..

"Spence.. I need you baby but I don't know if you are ready yet.. I could wait forever for you.. I could only hug and kiss you if that was what you could give me.. I love you Spence.. I love you.." we were still in each other arms.. I could feel Ashley's tears on my shoulder where she laid her face.. All this was hurting both of us.. And I wanted this open sore stop bleeding anymore..

"I love you Ashley.. I want you.. I want to stop hurting.. I want to feel again.. And you are the reason for that.. You are the reason I feel things.. I want to feel you again.."

I kissed her lips letting my tongue trace her bottom lip.. She had her eyes closed as I did.. We were feeling each other.. We couldn't see each other but we could touch each other, taste each other, listen to each others moans and smell each others intoxicate scent.. They say that when you lose one sense your others are sharper.. And they were right.. I knew how Ashley looked but now I was seeing her with the eyes of my soul..

We were standing in the middle of my room.. Bodies close to one another.. Hands touching, feeling.. It was sensual.. Nothing rash.. It was like we were meeting for the first time.. Ashley was still hesitant of making the first move.. I had to let her know that being here with her it was ok.. That I was ok because it was her.. The one person I trusted..

I took her hand and guided it under my shirt.. Her hand was trembling like she was afraid of touching me again.. I took it and held it to my heart that was beating so fast..

"It beats only for you baby.. It's yours to keep"

Once I said it I saw a tear escaping her eyes and I leaned closer to kiss it.. I kissed her eyes and more tears were escaping..

"Baby, don't cry.. I am fine because I have you.."

She just nodded and I felt her hand moving under my shirt.. She was so tender.. She was caressing me and I felt goosebumps.. It's what she was doing me every time she was touching me.. I lifted her shirt and tossed it away.. She was standing there, with only her bra.. I missed her body.. I missed her.. All of her.. I touched her tattoo she had near to her pelvis.. A fairy.. I liked fairies and I liked them more seeing them in Ashley's body..

I took off my shirt and now we were both looking at each other.. Ashley placed her hands behind my back, finding the clasp of my bra.. I still could feel her hands trembling.. She was afraid of doing something that she would hurt me.. She would never.. She let the straps fall to my shoulders and took it off slowly.. I won't say that I wasn't feeling exposed.. I tried to hide my naked torso but when I was ready to do that Ashley came to me and she hugged me.. She felt my uneasiness.. It was so strange with both of us.. We knew how each other felt without telling..

"Baby.. if you want to stop we can stop.. I could lay here with you and hold you.."

She was so caring.. But the truth was I didn't want to stop.. I wanted to continue.. It's just that my mind was thinking and my body was reacting.. I wanted her and only her..

I unclasped her bra and now we were naked touching each other.. Her breasts touching mine.. I could feel her heart beating so fast.. It was the same beating as mine.. I was safe in her arms..

I took her hand and walked us back to my bed.. I laid my back to my bed and I brought Ashley to lay on top of me.. She was looking at me with so much love.. I could see it in her eyes.. I could see it in her touches.. She lowered her head to my breasts kissing them.. I was biting my lip because after so long I was feeling again.. I was hers.. I will always be hers.. She kissed and licked my nipples.. She was so careful of not causing me any pain..

I felt her hand going lower and she stopped before she do anything.. She looked at me one more time asking permission to go further.. To go further where I needed her.. I nodded and she unzipped my jeans really slow.. I could feel her fingers touching me and I was trembling only by her touch.. She took them off and now I was there, laying with only my boy shorts.. Laying there waiting for her..

"Baby... I so want you.. My heart wants you so much Spence.."

"Ash.. I want you too baby.. I want to feel you again.."

She gave me a full kiss, going to my neck, then my collarbone, my breasts, my abdomen.. Stopping to the place that needed her kisses the most.. She took my underwear off while she was kissing the inside of my thighs.. I was so wet..

She was looking at me while I felt one of her fingers slide inside me.. She felt so good.. She wasn't thrusting me.. She was there feeling me, touching me, wanting me to feel her.. And how I felt her.. She didn't want for me to feel strange.. I knew it because she still had one finger inside me.. Tonight it wasn't to make love.. It was to make new memories of us.. It was the touches and the kisses.. Tonight it was us..

"Ash.."

"I know baby.. I know.."

I was close to my climax and she was just touching me.. That's how much I loved her.. What we did tonight will be a new memory of us.. A memory of Ashley and I being in each others world.. But she was my world..

"Asshh.. baaaaby.." I couldn't scream.. My parents were still in the same home with us.. And I was making love with my girlfriend.. I didn't care if my mother would knock my door now.. Because all I could hear was Ashley's name inside my head..

After my climax Ashley laid her body on top of mine.. Her breasts touching mine and her kisses erasing all bad memories.. I was Ashley's again.. Body, Mind and Soul..

"I love you Spence.. So much.. I will never get bored of telling you.."

"And I love you Ashley Davies.."

"Are you ok baby?"

"I am perfect"

"Are you sure?" I didn't answer her back.. I turned us so we could face each other.. I kissed her lips and held there.. I was perfect.. We were perfect..

I was ready to make love to her but when I started unbuttoning her jeans and letting my hands slide in she stopped me before I feel her..

"Spence.. no.. I want you and you can't even imagine how much but I wanted to please you.. I wanted tonight to be for you and not me.."

"How I am so lucky? Please tell me.."

"I am the lucky one.. I am the luckiest girl on earth actually.. One I have a hot girlfriend.. Two, my girlfriend not only she is clever but beautiful also. In the inside and the outside.. Three, she is caring, loving and the kindest person I know.. And she loves me as much I love her.. So.. I am the luckiest girl.."

"Ashley Davies you make my heart melt.."

"You too baby.."

"Could you please hold me?"

"Can I hold you forever?"

"Yes, please.."

We laid there, under my sheets holding each other.. We are the perfect couple.. We just fit to each others world.. Do you know why? Because she is my world and I am hers.. It is just us..

The next morning found us in each other arms.. I was already awake and I was looking at her while she was sleeping.. She was so beautiful.. Brown curls hiding her eyes.. I tried to resist to tuck them back her ear being afraid of waken her up..

"Spence.. why are you looking at me?" she said while having her eyes still closed..

"Because you are beautiful.."

"Smooth talker.."

"You know it baby.."

"Come here.." I came closer and she gave me my goodmorning kiss.. How I loved those kisses.. Especially when I had a night with her..

"When we are going back to Colorado?" now I had her full attention.. She opened her eyes and I tucked those brown curls behind her ear..

"Whenever you feel ready baby.. I think you should spent some alone time with your parents first.."

"And where you are going to be?"

"Here of course.. But Spence.. They are your parents and they are important to you.. I know what it means to have your parents love you.. And I miss it.. I miss my family.."

It was the first time Ashley was talking for her family.. I didn't say anything.. I just let her continue..

"When we lived in Canada I was happy Spence.. I had my family and we were perfect.. But when my dad died everything changed.. I lost my mother over alcohol and I had to be a mother to my sister because clearly our mother was lost to my father's memories"

I didn't know what to say.. I was sure that she didn't want for me to say I was sorry.. She wasn't the type of woman who wants others feeling pity for her.. And I wouldn't be someone like that.. I would be her girlfriend and I would hold her hand..

"Things got worst when I told my mother I was gay.. When she found out she literally kicked me out.. And the saddest thing is that my sister, Kyla did the same thing.. I lost my family and now all I have is the good memories of them.. I say that to you because your family loves you.. Even your mother.. We think that she is cold but I can she is trying so hard.. My mother never tried.. She just tossed me away.. And I want for you to keep your family.. And hopefully some day they will become mine too.."

And I hope they will be because I want to spent my life with her.. Ashley let me in.. She let me see her soul. I didn't say anything.. I just kissed her and held her..

"You are perfect.. And my father.. well he loves you.. So I am sure he would love for you to be in our family baby.. And as for my mother.. well she will love you eventually.. No one can resist the Davies charm.."

"Spence.. I am broken.. After Steve you are the only person you know these things for me.."

"Baby, thank you for letting me in.."

"Thank you for being you.."

I am so in love with her.. I told her we were the perfect couple.. And we are.. We just fit to each other world.. Our world..

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**TBC**

**I loved this chapter..**

**Reviews are always welcome..**

**xx**


	31. Chapter 31

**Hey guys.. Sorry I couldn't update yesterday but it was a crazy day at work.. Here I am today though.. With a new chapter and hopefully more..**

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**Chapter 31**

I read somewhere that people at the early beginnings of the ancient Greece were one.. A man and a woman bonded to a body.. They had two heads, two arms but they shared one heart.. One body.. The Olympians afraid of them wanted to separated them.. So Zeus himself separated them with a thunder.. They say that from then on humans search for each other.. Search for their soul mate.. I consider it as a myth because clearly Greece has a lot of them.. I couldn't believe that humans had one body and two heads.. But I do believe that we always search our other half..

You are wondering why I am telling you this.. It's because I stopped searching.. I found my heart.. I found my soul mate.. And she is right next to me.. Holding me.. And I am just looking at her because she is so beautiful.. And because she is my girl..

I thought that after Aiden I couldn't feel again.. He took what was the most important thing to me.. I am glad that I was wrong.. Ashley was there to take him away.. To make me hers again with her way of loving me.. And I love her for that.. Now we just walk together holding each others hand.. We are just Spencer and Ashley.. Two girls in love.. I think she made me soapy.. Me.. The ice-queen.. Well ice-queen is long gone..

"Baby.. what are you thinking again? You are going to burn that beautiful brain of yours.."

"I was thinking that I love you.."

"I love you too Spence.. So much.."

"Thank you.."

"For what?"

"For being you.. For being the caring woman I love.. For being here holding my hand.."

"Spence.. you know I am here.. I am not going anywhere.. Ok?"

"Even if you wanted I wouldn't let you Ms Davies.."

"Well that's good then because I don't want to leave.."

I think that our drama days are over but you never know because we have still Paula Carlin to watch us.. I really hope my mother change opinion about Ashley.. How she can hate her when she was so kind over my mom? Well.. she is catholic and homophobe clearly but yet a mother should love her child either way.. It doesn't matter that I am with Ashley.. I just fell in love with a girl.. Is that bad? For my mom is.. Thank God my father thinks differently..

We didn't discuss yet when are we moving.. I wanted to leave right after my parents learned what happened.. But what Ashley told me about her family made me think before I act.. She was right.. I really need my family.. And I need both my parents in my life.. As I need Ashley.. I want us to be able to have a civil conversation.. Do I ask much?

"Ash?"

"Mm?"

"Are you sure about us living together?" she sat up and looked at me surprised.. I didn't mean it like that.. I just wanted for her to be sure about us..

"Why? Do you have second thoughts?"

"No baby.. I just.. I want you to be sure.."

"Spence.. I wasn't sure about anything in my life.. I want you next to me. I want to be able to kiss you when I open my eyes.. I want to drive you to the ice skating stadium and watch you practice.. I want all the simple things.." how I could resist her.. I wanted the same things..

"I want that too Ash.."

"Good.. you scared me.."

"Sorry baby" I said and kissed her lips "do you feel better now?"

"Not really.. I may need some more kisses.."

"Ash.. my parents are still here.."

"Ok.. we can go to a hotel and continue there till it's time for us to leave"

"I thought you told me to stay with my parents.."

"Damn Spence.. you really make me forget what I am saying.. what is my name again?"

"Beautiful"

"Are you sure?"

"Definitely"

"Come here" she hugged me and gave those kisses I love.. we were in each others arms kissing when I heard my door knock..

"Girls? Are you presentable?" ok.. I am blushing right now.. My father thought I was having sex with Ashley? Well I did.. But still he was my father and thank God we were presentable..

"Yeah dad.. Come in.." Ashley was already fixing her hair because clearly we had just fucked up sex..

"Spence, Ashley.. How are you?"

"Ehm.. fine dad.. what's the matter?"

"I wanted to say that I didn't cook breakfast.. So we are going out.. Your mom too.." ok.. rewind.. did he say my mom would come with us for breakfast? Like with me and Ashley?

"WHAT?" I felt Ashley's hand on my thigh.. It was just to calm me off..

"Spence.."

"No dad.. She made really clear that she doesn't like us.. So I don't see why she have to come with us.."

"Spence.. I talked with your mother.. She is surprised and well she didn't take it good but she loves you.."

"Baby.. your dad is right.." Ashley said with sadness in her eyes.. I know she was sad because of her mother and how she treated her.. "You should really give her a chance.."

"But Ash.."

"Don't worry about me.. I have you.. Don't need anyone to tell me different.."

"Listen to Ashley Spence.. Come with us.. Give your mother a chance"

"Ok.. Ok.. we will meet you downstairs"

"Don't be late"

Once my father was out Ashley was already changing and putting her jeans on.. I came from behind her and wrapped my hands around her.. She leaned her head over mine and held me hands tighter..

"So.. are we ready to face Mrs Paula Carlin?"

"Having you next to me, holding my hand.. Yes baby.. I am ready to face my mom"

She turned her face so we could look at me, she gave me another kiss and slapped my ass so I could go and get ready myself..

Once I picked a very casual outfit to wear we were ready to meet my parents and have a breakfast.. None of us talked inside the car.. My dad tried to ask random questions to Ashley and me but my mom was keep looking outside the window.. I really watched her.. She seemed in deep thought.. Me, Ashley and me, what happened with Aiden? I am sure she was thinking these things..

Once we were there we sat to a booth.. Me and Ashley from one side, my father and mother to the other.. Ashley's hand was on my thigh. It was more of a comforting touch and I need it that because she was the only one who could calm me..

"So girls.. I heard they have the best pancakes here? Do you want anything else?"

"No dad.. I am all for pancakes"

"Me too Mr C"

"Paula?"

"Whatever.. Don't have a problem"

My dad didn't say anything.. I didn't too.. Ashley was looking back and forth.. My parents and then me..

We finished our breakfast in dead silence.. No one said a thing.. And we were here to talk I suppose.. I had to make the first move..

"So.. in two days we leave.. I am going to Colorado with Ashley"

Ashley was surprised as my dad and mom were.. I didn't set a date we were going to leave so I caught her of guard.. I just wanted to see a reaction from my mother..

"Spence.. it is good.. But we haven't see you.. Could you please stay for a little while? I am sure Ashley wouldn't have a problem.. Ashley? Would you mind?"

"Ehm.. Mr C.. I.. don't have a problem with staying.. It's Spencer's call.."

My dad looked at me with pleading eyes.. I loved my dad.. But I wasn't sure if I wanted to stay longer..

"Please stay" I thought that I heard wrong.. My mom spoke and I wasn't sure I was hearing well until I saw my father and Ashley look at her with the same surprise as mine..

"Spencer.. I wanted to say sorry to both of you. I am sure she is a good girl.."

"Mom.. are you feeling alright?"

"I am fine.. I just thought that life is too short.. And after what happened with Aiden, after what he did to you I thought that I was wrong in so many levels.. And your dad made me understand it.."

I must be dreaming because in my dream my mom said she is sorry and she almost told me that she accepts me and Ashley.. Someone pinch me..

"You have nothing to be sorry Mrs Carlin.."

"I do.. I wasn't right Ashley.. I didn't know and I assumed you were bad.. Seems that I don't know who is bad and who is not"

"Mom.. You didn't force me to be with Aiden.. It was my choice"

"I should have seen it though Spence.. I should have sense that he wasn't good enough for you.."

I could see she was trying and she really seemed sorry for what was happening.. I believed her..

"Mom.."

"No.. please let me continue.. I can see now that Ashley is good enough for you.. She looks at you and I can see all the love.. I am glad you found someone to love you back.."

I couldn't hold my tears anymore.. I stood up and went to her side and hugged her.. Ashley was right.. I needed both my parents.. We both cried to each others shoulders.. It was a moment I didn't see.. I would never believe that I would see my mother like this.. So accepting..

"Ashley please take good care of our girl.."

"I promise Mrs Carlin.. With my heart.."

I hugged both my parents.. Ashley was sitting still there looking at us.. I was ready to tell her to come over when my mom got me first..

"Ashley.. what are you still doing there? Come for a family hug"

A family hug.. I smiled and I mouthed 'I love you' to Ashley.. I remember she told me that she hoped one day to be able to call my parents her family.. Well I am sure she didn't expect it so soon.. But I am glad it happened.. Now I feel so much better and I thank Ashley for that..

"So are you staying for one or three days more?"

"Mom.. I think we have to go.. We have so many things to do and.."

"Of course we will Mrs Carlin.. It would be our pleasure.."

"I am happy to hear that Ashley.."

I gave a confused look to Ashley but she looked at me and she said I love you.. I love her too.. So I think we could stay a little bit longer.. And now that my mom was ok with us.. Perfect.. I wouldn't have a problem staying a day or two..

Can I say that drama is over? Or it's a bad luck..?

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**TBC**

**Sorry it's short but I was at work while writing.. But this chapter focuses to Mrs Paula Carlin and her good nature now..**

**Reviews are always welcome..**

**xx**


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

Life is too short.. My mother was right.. Life it's too short to hold a grudge to anyone.. It's too short to not let yourself fall in love.. It's too short not to tell the person you love that you love them.. I am happy that mom came back to her senses.. I wasn't sure that she would accept Ashley and me.. But again I found myself wrong and I am happy for that..

Now here we are.. Ashley and I, in the same house with my parents.. None of them told me not to have her inside my room and if they did I don't know if I would take it alright.. I came to want her next to me every night and every morning..

We finally had the civil conversation I so wanted.. I had two parents that accepted me and I could not be happier.. Now I think my future with Ashley.. You think it's too soon.. We are not together a year but almost a month but yet it's like I knew her all this time.. I loved her from when I saw that video.. So yes.. For me it's not too soon.. For us it was too late.. we had to meet each other four years ago.. Because if I knew her then now we would be like Jenna and Summer.. Four years together.. But never it's too late because I really hope for more that four years.. I hope for a life with her..

The days passed so fast.. One day we were eating our breakfast all together and my mother changed to a nice Paula Carlin and now we are all together again at the airport.. My parents having tears in their eyes.. It matches with my own.. And Ashley is here as always holding my hand.. I thought I was ready to leave them but I am not sure any more.. I am a 22 old year old girl and now I feel like I am two and my father leaves for a year.. Only this time I am the one who does the leaving.. Why I am crying? We are not going to the other side of the world.. We are going to live just a few states away.. They can always come to visit and we can do the same..

'_Flight 456 for Denver, Colorado leaves in 15 minutes'_

"Baby this is our flight.."

" I know.."

It's hard to let go of your parents.. You wonder what I did while I was all over the world with ice-skating.. Now it's different.. Do I have second thoughts? Of course not.. I am just saying.. Fuck.. I am crying again..

"Spence baby.. Are you ok? We can stay if you want.." I nodded no with my head.. I knew she was trying to make feel better..

I dried my tears and I hugged my parents.. Both of them hugged me at the same time.. I was their only child..

"Ashley, please take good care of our girl. Ok? We trust you here.."

"Of course Mr C. You can come to visit whenever you want.. My house is open for you two.."

"Thank you Ashley.. It means a lot"

My mom made a step forward and hugged Ashley as she hugged me.. The same as my father.. They hugged her both..

"Again I am sorry Ashley.. Thank you for being here for my daughter.. She loves you.."

"And I love her Mrs Carlin.. I mean it.. You can come whenever you like and whenever we can I will take Spence and we will come over.."

"Promise?"

"Promise"

"Now go.. Once you are home call us so we know you arrived alright"

"Ok.. Bye Mr C, Mrs Carlin.."

Ashley hugged them both, took my arm bag and left me to say goodbye to my parents.. I stood there looking at them as they did the same.. I guess we were taking mental image of each other.. Jesus.. I am not moving to Japan..

"Please be careful.. Ok? And be safe.."

"I will.. Bye mom.. Bye dad"

"Call us.."

"I will.. bye.."

I followed Ashley and I gave one last look to my parents.. They were waving.. My mom had her head on my dad's shoulder.. Ok.. Here we go.. My new life is beginning.. I found Ashley looking at me.. I gave her a peck on her lips..

"What's that for?"

"Because I wanted to.."

"Nice.. Are you ready?"

"Of course.."

She took my hand and we started our life together.. our life to Colorado.. Ashley and me.. Will I miss my parents? Very.. But I would miss Ashley more if I wasn't with her..

The two hours flight found Ashley in my arms.. My baby was tired.. I from the other hand couldn't sleep.. I was just looking from my window.. How clear and quiet is everything up here.. Ashley started to awake when it was time for us to arrive..

"Did you sleep well baby?"

"Hmmm.. yes.. thank you.. I had the best pillow" she said with the characteristic grin of hers.. Of course by pillow she meant my breasts..

"Glad I could help you with having an excellent sleep Ash.."

"And you don't want to know how much that helped with my dreams.. One word Spence.. Naughty.. very naughty.."

"What am I going to do with you?"

"Hmm.. I can think of so many things you can do to me.." I laughed and hit her arm.. Not hard of course.. I could never hurt her..

"Hey.. It's not my fault.. You just stir my senses.."

"You are.. You.. are.." she looked at me with her naughty eyes..

"What am I exactly Spence?" her hand starting to come closer.. inside my thighs.. up to my..

"Ash.. not here.."

"Don't know what you mean.. I am not doing anything baby.."

But she did.. Actually she continued with what she was doing.. Thank God it was only us sitting there.. No one next to us.. She moved her body so now whomever looked at us they could see only Ashley's back.. her head on my neck inhaling near my ear.. She knows it drives me crazy when she goes up there…

"Ash.. pleeeassee.. Not here.."

"I am just kissing my girlfriend.. Don't know where the bad thing is in that.." she said while she was still on my neck.. It was more like an erotic whisper.. That girl sure can drive you crazy.. Only that she won't because she is mine..

Her fingers doing circles outside my jeans and going down on me.. I was starting to feel really wet from what she was doing to me.. I was biting my bottom lip, my eyes closed.. and Ashley's lips on my neck kissing and sucking.. Tomorrow I will have a hickey to show that I am someone's girlfriend.. Try Ashley's Davies girlfriend.. If she is going to continue I would have to take her right there.. I would spread my legs and let her have her way with me inside an airplane with people around us..

"Ash if you continue.."

"yes.. what is going to happen Spence?" she started to rub harder my center and I wanted to have her..

"Ash.. please.. it's hard to.." she didn't leave me to continue..

"Let me see how hard.." without saying anything else she unbuttoned my jeans and I felt her inside my panties feeling me..

"Mmm.. someone is really worked up.."

"Mmm.. someone will pay for that when we go home.."

"Promise?"

OMG she had her fingers touching my clit while she continued kissing and licking my neck..

"You are so wet baby.."

"Ash.. please.."

She hears the pleading tone in my voice and goes inside me.. It was sensual, not hard.. I loved this side of her.. She was caring although she was very naughty.. She had her middle finger inside me stroking me while her thumb rubbing my clit.. She drives me crazy.. Don't know how to say it with other words..

"You are ready for me baby.." and ready I was.. how she makes it possible to come with only her touch?

"Ash.." I wanted to scream her name but she hushed me with her tongue kissing me.. She tasted cherry from her lip gloss.. When she finished me off I was in an ecstasy mode.. I wanted to have her too.. I wanted for us to be naked to our bed.. She is going to pay for what she did..

She took out her fingers not before she trace my lips again.. Like I didn't feel her she had to touch me again while I was sensitive down there.. She looked at me and put her fingers inside her mouth licking them like she was licking a lolly pop.. I needed to kiss her.. She was so damn sexy..

"Come here right now missy.." she smiled at me calling her missy.. I knew she liked it when I did.. I cupped her face with both my hands..

"You.. are going to pay for this.. But it was amazing.." I said and locked our lips with a kiss full of love and passion..

"You are amazing baby.. And I am glad you are mine.."

"I am yours baby.."

_Ladies and gentleman __current time is 6.40pm.. In less than 10 minutes we are landing to Denver's airport.. Thank you for travelling with us.. Hope you have a nice stay.._

"It was a pleasant flight.. What do you think Spence?"

"I think that you are in big trouble"

"Why? I didn't do anything wrong.."

"Yeah.. Keep saying that to yourself Ash.."

"I am sorry but I had a naughty dream about you and I just wanted to feel you.. Am I that bad?"

"You are very lucky that I love you.."

"You mean that you won't punish me when we are going home?"

"Oh.. believe me.. I will.."

After 10 minutes we were landed to Denver's airport.. I was so happy for two reasons.. First of what happened with Ashley inside the plane and second we were going to live together.. I wanted to scream that so all the world could know..

Ashley had her car parked to the airports parking so we didn't have a problem to find a transportation.. When I saw her car I blinked twice.. In Canada she rented a Porsche.. Well she had a Porsche Cayen.. A jip.. A Porsche.. Ok.. I am in love with her and her choices in cars..

"Spence.. hello.. are you ok baby?"

"Eh.. yes.. sorry.. I was looking at your car.."

"She is my beauty…"

"And I thought I was.."

"You are baby.." she said and kissed me.. Ok.. if I had this car it would be my beauty too..

"So are we ready?"

"Always.."

She drove like an hour and half and now we were outside her house.. Well her apartment downtown.. This seemed really expensive..

"It's alright.. Don't be surprised baby.. I am a two times gold medal athlete and I have my inheritance.."

"Ash.. this is huge.. your door is the elevators door"

"You are really cute.. Now come on.. I want to show you our bedroom.."

Our bedroom.. How good it sounded to my ears.. My life we with Ashley starts now.. I am wondering what the future holds for us.. For now I love my present.. And for now I am here.. With her..

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**TBC**

**Sorry it's short again.. Next chapters will look in the inside and maybe some months after or years? Who knows?**

**Reviews are always welcome..**

**xx**


	33. Chapter 33

**Sorry guys for not having and update all these days but family was here.. I think that we are coming to an end.. Two more chapters as I see it.. But I will think of a new story and I will come back..**

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**Chapter 33**

They say that time doesn't exist.. Well the very clever people of science believe that time doesn't exist.. Well as for me.. Time really stopped.. It stopped with Ashley.. Four months and I think we met yesterday.. Every day is a surprise to me.. Ashley is amazing.. My life with her is simply wonderful.. I can't find the words to describe it..

These four months Ashley and I became a real couple.. Not that we weren't but living with your other half sure adds some extra points.. I didn't have a problem living with her.. Actually we both were very tidy, although I didn't expect that from her.. Don't ask why.. We helped each other doing the chores.. As I said before.. We are the perfect couple..

We would sleep in each others arm every night and every morning she was awaking me with kisses.. And morning 'breakfasts'.. If you know what I mean.. I loved my morning 'breakfasts' a lot..

Once we settled down Ashley found me a team so I could practice my sport.. I was already four months here but still it was a new place for me.. It was a big town.. I thought that it wouldn't be easy for me to start with a new team.. Since I was 5 Alexei was my coach.. For 17 years I practiced with him and now I had to find another coach.. It was difficult at first.. When they saw me they were with their mouths open.. They knew who I was and not because I was with Ashley.. I was a well known athlete to my sport so coming to them, as the coach said, was 'a blast'..

Ashley would come to my practices and she would wait for me till it was time for me to go home.. It was our ritual.. She didn't start with her practices yet, because well summer was coming and show melts.. I from the other hand didn't have a problem because clearly it was a close ice skating stadium..

My parents came to visit us several times and I could see how happy Ashley was.. She was a part of our family and my family loved her.. Who wouldn't.. I didn't ask about hers.. Whenever she was ready she would tell me the whole story.. I was curious though.. She told me that she almost raised her sister.. I can't believe how she could be so harsh to Ashley.. After what she did for her.. She was ungrateful.. But I would never tell Ashley that.. It was her family to deal with and I would be here if she needed me..

Today was another practice and Ashley was here as always.. She even made some friends here.. Yes.. My girl is very social.. And they all know her because of the two golds.. So basically she is their goddess.. And my angel..

I was practicing for being a figure athlete again.. My time as a pair athlete was over.. I didn't want to be with another male partner again.. All this with Aiden was so bad and figure skating was my passion.. I never wanted to be paired from the beginning.. And Ashley likes me even more when I am skating alone.. She says that I look like I am flying..

"Ladies.. And gentlemen.. Our practice is over once again.. Thank you for trying not to break my nerves.. See you tomorrow at 6am.."

This time I had an American coach.. He was good and actually was the silver medal champion when Alexei took his gold.. They both were very good to what they did.. They had their own style and I had to follow Adrian's style now.. he was more free.. and not that strict as Alexei..

"Spencer.. Can I talk with you for a sec?"

"Of course"

I waved Ashley that I was coming in a sec and found Adrian in the middle of the ice rink..

"Spencer.. It's nothing bad.. Cool"

"Ok"

"I see your progress and I know it was difficult to follow our routine.. But you are doing good and I wanted to tell you that at the end of the month there is this European championship and I think that you should participate.."

I was surprised.. I didn't know that I was ready to compete again.. I know it's the same sport but pair figure ice skating and figure skating is different.. I would be glad to go to a championship but I think it was too early for that..

"Adrian thank you for believing in me but I think it would be the best if one of the girls go.. I don't know if I am ready yet.. It's only the beginning.."

"Spencer.. you are good.. you are excellent.. I never have seen anyone like you.. Well the years I am coaching.. I know you can do this.. So what do you say?"

"Can I discuss it with Ashley first? I want for her to know and then I will tell you.. ok?"

"Of course.. Although I believe Ashley will scream hearing the news.."

"Adrian thank you again.. I will have an answer tomorrow.. Ok?"

"Ok.. Tomorrow at 6 sharp.. Now have fun.."

"I will.. Bye.."

Ok.. I didn't expect that.. I didn't expect participating so soon.. I am happy.. I am really happy.. But I haven't compete till the Olympics.. I am sure though that if I tell Ashley she will scream from joy.. She loves seeing me competing..

"Hey baby.. What did Adrian want?" she said taking my hand in hers and giving me the kiss I so needed..

"Hmm.. what if I tell you while we shower together.."

"Spence.. if we have this shower together then we are going to do other things and then you will forget to tell me.. What if you tell me now and then we have that shower?"

"You are a hard negotiator baby.."

"I am not hard.. I am just saying the truth.. You know how it is with us.."

"I know baby.. So what we are having for dinner?"

"Spence.. when are you going to learn how to cook?"

"But I haaave you.. And you cook amazing.."

Yes.. I didn't know how to cook and Ashley knew.. You are surprised? Me too when I found it out.. And she is a great cook actually.. That is why I refuse to learn.. Although she really tried to teach me..

"Still.. Maybe some day I will be ill.. So what are you going to do?"

"I will order something.."

"Spence.. This is not healthy and you know it.."

"But Asssshhh.. I looove your food better.."

"Stop it.." she loved my pout.. Well she couldn't resist it.. And I knew that I would help with dinner.. I would give her the ingredients..

"Sooo.. what are we having for dinner?"

"What do you want?"

"Hmm.. my favorite"

"Pasta with tomato sauce then.."

"And whine"

"And whine.."

"And then we can have that shower together.."

"What am I going to do with you.. Eh?"

"Whatever you want.."

"I hold you to that.."

"That's why I told you.."

Is it possible to love someone so deep? Like you know what they think? How they feel? I never believed in love.. Love found me.. And her name was Ashley.. I want to be with her.. I want to talk with her.. Just sit on the sofa and watch notebook.. Greatest movie ever by the way.. Simple things but yet so important..

Once we were home Ashley started cooking dinner.. I of course was there to help her.. I love watching her cook..

"So.. care to share what Adrian wanted? Seemed important.."

"Well he told me that at the end of the month there is a European championship in figure skating and he wants me to go.."

I didn't finish what I was saying.. Ashley was hugging me to death and screaming.. She was way too happy.. Happier than me and I was the one competing.. Well if she was the one I would be the same.. I love watching her doing her sport.. She is good..

"Spence.. Are you for real? This is excellent news.. What did you tell him? We are going eh?"

"Ash.. I don't know if I am ready.."

"Baby you are the best.. You know what are you doing.. And I am sure Adrian wouldn't tell you that if he thought different.."

"Yes.. but still.. I am not sure.. It has been a long time since I was alone on ice.."

"Spence.. I will not pressure you to go.. But if Adrian thinks that you are ok.. then you can go and try.. You don't have to get a medal or something.. Go and have fun.. Feel the sport again.."

"You said, we are going.."

"Of course.. There is no way I am leaving you going there alone.. Europe is big.."

"You would come with me?"

"Wherever.. whenever.. I will be next to you baby.."

"You make me happy.."

"You make me happy too.."

"So do I tell Adrian that we are going?"

"I say better call him right now because I am sure he can't wait to hear your answer.."

"What I would do without you?"

"You would be lost.."

"Har har.. You are funny.. But I love you.."

"Love you too.. Now go and have that call.. I will make the sauce"

"Don't you need my help?"

"You distracting me.. Goooo.."

"Yes ma'am.."

I called Adrian and Ashley was right.. Adrian was waiting my answer.. When I told him that I wanted to go I think he tried really hard not to scream in my ear.. Now we could start practicing harder for the European championship.. I had to call my parents and tell them.. They would be so happy to hear that..

"Hey mom.."

"Spencer.. How are you honey? How is Ashley?"

"I am fine and Ashley is cooking.."

"Again Spencer? When are you going to cook for her?"

"I know when.. So do you know what?"

"What?"

"Well Adrian wants to go to this European championship at the end of the month.. I am going to compete again.."

"SPENCER.. This is the best news I ever heard.."

"Mom.. my ear.. I think I am going deaf from one ear.."

"You are a drama queen.. Does Ashley know?"

"Of course mom.. And she is coming with me.."

"That's very nice of her.."

"I would do the same.."

"Spence.. Dad and I wanted to come but we can't honey.."

"Mom.. it's ok.. You can see me from tv.."

"Oh we will.. Dad is not home right now so you could talk with him.."

"It's ok.. Tell him I called.."

"Ok.. Bye sweetie.."

"Bye mom.."

When I finished my phone calls Ashley had prepared the table.. Two plates of pasta and two glasses of whine were waiting for me.. She smiled at me and offered me my glass.. Did I tell you how I love her?

"Ok.. We toast to Spencer Carlin, that is you by the way, and that she is going to have fun to this European championship.."

"And I toast to Ashley Davies, who by the way it is you, who is the best girlfriend ever.."

"Charmer.."

"I am.."

"To us baby.."

"To us.."

Ashley and I were already living together.. We discussed of our future here and then.. We said that when we are going to be older if we would still be in love with each other, if we get older how we will look like and things like that.. I wanted to be married to Ashley Davies.. And I think Ashley wanted the same seeing her eyes every time we talked about our future.. So for now we didn't say the word marriage out loud but we both knew.. I wouldn't care if I was Spencer Carlin Davies or if she would be Ashley Davies Carlin..

In my heart I just knew I wanted to be hers.. And that she would be mine..

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**TBC..**

**Well as I said two more chapters or three.. It depends.. But the story is coming to an end.. Sorry again for not updating..**

**Reviews are always welcome..**

**xx**


	34. Chapter 34

**Next chapter will be the last.. Thank you all for all your support.. I loved all your reviews and your suggestions.. I will come back when I think of another story.. I already have something in mind.. I just want to sit down and figure out everything..**

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**Chapter 34**

How you feel when you do something you love? How you feel when everything that you ever wanted lying now on your feet? I am happy.. I couldn't be happier actually..

You are wondering why.. Well.. I am doing something I love and I have my family to share that with.. My family.. I still can't believe I have a family with Ashley.. Again you are wondering.. Well you are right.. I didn't tell you..

Right before Ashley's birthday on June, Adrian told me about the European championship.. At the end of May I would compete again.. Against other athletes and probably against Jenna.. I was so happy but yet so afraid.. I knew it was my sport.. I knew I was the queen to that sport.. I was the best.. At least I was the best here, the states..

Ashley was so happy preparing everything.. She was singing when she was packing our luggages.. She was proud of me.. As I was proud of her.. I was just looking at her and I was thinking how lucky I was.. I had the most beautiful and caring girlfriend in the world.. I hoped I could call her my wife in the future.. We talked about our future several times and I knew she wanted too.. But we were so young and we just wanted to feel our youth freedom a little more.. Not that we wouldn't if we would be married..

Adrian informed me that another girl from the states would compete with me.. I asked who.. And it was Jenna.. She was the second best after me.. She was extremely good.. I was so happy to see her again after four months.. Of course we talked but we hadn't see each other since the Olympics.. Now we were going to compete again..

World championship.. This year would be held in Europe.. I've been there several times.. Alone and with Aiden.. Aiden.. I so don't want to remember about him.. What happened with him? Well they brought him back to the states were he was judged for my rape and now he serves a 7 year imprisonment.. Hard days.. Don't want to remember them..

This World championship would be held in Russia.. Never been there but I heard it's too cold even in summer and it's beautiful.. I think Ashley won't have a problem with cold since she snowboards all winter in mountains..

We were so ready.. I was so ready.. I remember then..

"_Baby.. everything is going to be fine.. You are the best.. And even if you don't get the gold it's still fine. You are here to have fun"_

"_Ash.. I know.. I am just nervous"_

"_What if I give you a big kiss?"_

"_How big?"_

"_OMG.. Just give her the kiss so we can move on.." Adrian.. He was a good guy but when someone interrupts my girlfriend time I get really mad.._

"_ADRIAN"_

"_What Spencer? Jesus.. We fell in love too you know, but you two are something else.." I saw Ashley smiling.. We were something else.. We were Spashley.._

"_Don't listen to him baby.. Give me that kiss.." she seemed hesitant.. Well.. Everyone knew about us.. And why she was hesitant I didn't know.. "Ash..?"_

"_Yes, Spence?"_

"_My kiss?"_

"_Yes baby.. your kiss.." she gave me a full kiss.. Tongue and everything.. I think I could continue for an hour with her kiss.._

"_Mmm.. that was what I needed.."_

"_Move on.."_

"_Adrian Jesus.. Girls in love here.."_

"_We are going to be late.."_

"_He is right Spence.. We have to be there in less than half an hour.."_

"_Yes.. You are right Ash.."_

"_Now you listen to her and not your coach?"_

"_She is my girlfriend.. Are you my girlfriend?"_

"_Clearly.. No.."_

_Adrian was so different from Alexei.. Adrian was a friend and a coach.. He was good and I was happy I was working with him.._

_When we arrived I tried to find Jenna.. She was there.. She was with her coach of course.._

"_Spencer Carlin.."_

"_Jenna.."_

"_Where are you girl? You don't write.. You don't call.."_

"_Hey now.. I do call.. It's better than write.."_

"_Yeah yeah.. Where is your other half?"_

"_Where is yours.."_

"_There.." She showed me where.. Summer was here of course.. I forgot that Jenna and Summer were another Ashley and Spencer.. Summer always followed Jenna.. And Jenna did the same.. Once Summer saw me she came to greet me.._

"_Spencer.. Hey.. We missed you.."_

"_Summer.. Hey.. I was talking with your girl here.."_

"_Yeah.." she turned her face and looked at her with so much love.. She was indeed her girl.. "Speaking of girls.. Where is yours?"_

"_She is right there.." and I showed where Ashley was.. She was talking with Adrian.._

"_Now.. Do I think that Ashley Davies is hotter than the last time?" I smacked Jenna and Summer did the same at the same time.._

"_Hey now.. Both of you.."_

"_You shouldn't look.."_

"_Hey.. You have a very hot girlfriend Spencer.. It's not my fault"_

"_Keep saying that and you will __sleep alone tonight.." Summer told her.. She wasn't serious of course.. I could see her smile.._

"_Baaby.. You are the only hottie for me.. you know that.."_

"_Yeah yeah.."_

"_Summmer… You know you are the most beautiful girl for me.."_

"_Ok.. Do I need to leave you too alone?"_

"_No.. Spence.. Jenna will have to work to get to me again.."_

"_Summer.."_

"_Don't Summer me.."_

"_How __should I compete when I don't get a kiss from you?" she leaned to kiss her cheek but Jenna moved the last moment and Summer kissed her lips.. Once they locked their lips they found lost to each other.. That was my call to move and find my girl.._

"_Yeah, girls.. I am leaving.." I saw a hand waving up and down.. "Good luck Jenna.." same hand up and down.. "Ok.. Leaving now.."_

_They were so cute.. And if I look like that with Ashley that's why Adrian was screaming.. But we are cute.._

_I found my girlfriend and she was the hottest girl on this rink.. Jenna was right.. Thank God she is mine.._

"_hey baby.. Where were you?"_

"_Speaking with Jenna and Summer"_

"_Yeah? Why I didn't see them?"_

"_They were sucking faces.."_

"_Spence.."_

"_What? they were.. Look at them.. I left them like 10 minutes ago and they still kissing.."_

"_Are you jealous Spencie?"_

"_Ash.. I am not jealous.." I just wanted to kiss her too.._

"_Are you sure?" she stepped closer to me and placed her hands round my waist.._

"_Ehm.. yes?"_

"_Aren't you sure?" she placed her head on my shoulders and I could feel her breath there.. I got goosebumps.._

"_Oh.. Ash.."_

"_JUST KISS HER ALREADY" Adrian.._

"_That's what I was trying to do Adrian.. Thank you.."_

_Ashley placed a soft kiss on my lips.. I was feeling her hands behind my back.. She was calming me.. She knew how good I felt. She knew me too well.._

"_Now go.. Have fun.. Ok?"_

"_Yes.."_

"_Come back to me smiling.."_

"_I will baby"_

_I left Ashley and I followed Adrian.. I saw Jenna and now we were waiting for our time to come.._

_There were good athletes everywhere.. Russia had the best.. She is well known for her athletes to all sports.. Especially here.. I would be the 10__th__.. After the girl from Russia.. She was good.._

_Once it was time for me to go out I listened to Adrian's instructions and focused of having fun and nothing more.. As Ashley told me.._

_I felt so good on ice again.. I was free.. Like I was flying.. I listened carefully to find Ashley's heart.. I turned my face and she was there smiling at me.. I took my bow and started my program.._

_I was on fire.. Dancing, walking on ice.. I felt.. Relieved again.. I did everything right.. Axels.. Loops.. and a triple toe loop.. I was so happy.._

_Once I finished my program flowers were flying to the ice rink, teddy bears.. People screaming.. I did good.. I bowed several times and skated to find Adrian who was hugging me to death.. We were waiting for my score and I was waving to the crowd.._

_I saw the score and it was the best I ever had.._

_5.0 - 5.0 - 6.0 - 6.0 -6.0 - 6.0_

_The perfect score.. I was ranked first.. But there were still 8 girls and Jenna was one of them.. For now I was the first.._

_At the end of this Championship lets just say that I did have fun.. I did have fun because I enjoyed what I did.. Because I was a new person.. And I did have fun because the gold I had hanging on my neck showed how much fun I had.. Jenna unfortunately placed fifth but she was still happy.. She was the best fifth athlete in the world.._

"_Spencer.. You were awesome"_

"_I was ok but thank you Adrian for believing in me.."_

"_Are you kidding me? You are the best I ever coached.. I am proud of you Ms Carlin"_

"_And I am proud of you baby.." my Ashley was here.. The only person I wanted to see right now.._

"_Ash.." I run to her arms and hugged her.. I kissed her without caring who was near us or who was seeing us.. She was my girl.._

"_I told you you were going to be fine.." she was right.. But all this was hard to believe.. What I did next surprised her.. I took off my gold and placed her to her neck.._

"_Spence.. This is yours baby.. What are you doing?"_

"_Ash.. you are the best gold medal I ever won.. I don't need a medal.. This is yours.." I saw a tear coming and I kissed it right away.. I didn't want her to cry even if it was from happiness.._

"_Spence.."_

"_You are my gold Ashley Davies.."_

"_And you are mine.."_

"_JUST KISS HER ALREADY"_

"_ADRIAN" we said unison.. And of course we kissed each other 'already'_

_Coming back to Denver as a gold winner champion was different.. Now we were the golden couple.. Ashley had already her two gold medals and I had my first.. People were waiting for us at the airport and I could recognize two of them.. My mother and father.. They were waiting for me.._

_Once I found them they hugged me and they were crying.. Both of them.. Ok.. I cried too.. Ashley was behind me crying too.. We were crying all.. We are softies.._

"_Spencer.. honey.. You did it.."_

"_Yes mom.. I did it"_

"_We saw you baby girl.. You were flying on that ice.. Oh how proud we are for you"_

"_Thank you daddy.. Mostly I went there to have fun"_

"_Well.. You did good.."_

"_She was amazing.. You had to be there and see her.. Everyone was screaming her name.." Ashley was so proud of me.. You could hear that to her voice.._

"_We so wanted to be there Spence but we couldn't honey.. We saw you though.. You were indeed amazing.."_

_I was talking with my mom when I saw Ashley talking with my father a little further than us.. I was curious of what they were saying.. Ashley and my father were close.. Closer than my mom.. They clicked.. And my dad loved her.. Although I was talking with my mom my eyes were on Ashley.. I saw my dad hug__ging her and then they came back to us.._

"_What you two were doing over there?"_

"_Nothing baby.. Just wanted to ask your father something"_

"_Why am I feeling that you are not telingl me the whole truth.."_

"_Spencer.. Listen to your girlfriend.. Curiosity killed the cat"_

_I leaned closer and I whispered "I am so going to find tonight" and she whispered back.. "I so want to see you trying"_

_My parents of course they would stay to our home.. Once we were back I made for them the guest room and I suggested we go out and have dinner.. Ashley on the other hand thought it would be better if we stayed in since my parents were here.. She could cook with my father.. I swear.. If I didn't know I would say that they were hot for each other.. Ew ew.._

_Ashley, my father and mother looked strange.. They looked happier somehow.. like they knew something I didn't know.. I so need to find out.. Because I don't care if curiosity killed the cat.._

"_Ash? What is going on?"_

"_Don't know what you mean Spence.. Everything is fine"_

"_You keep whispering with my father and my mother has this huge smile.. What I don't know?"_

"_You will find soon Spence.. Now go and sit because dinner is ready"_

"_You drive me crazy"_

"_You so love me"_

"_Ahhh"_

_We all sat to our table and said grace.. Yeah.. My mom still says grace.. Good Catholic mom.. Ashley and dad cooked so much food that I think we are going to eat for a week.._

"_Oh.. Spencer honey.. I am so so happy for you"_

"_Thank you mom.."_

"_You took your gold.. Finally.. I think that Alexei shouldn't have paired you from the beginning"_

"_Thought that too.. It's good I am here.. I am happy" I said looking at Ashley.._

"_So how are you girls? Ashley? Do you treat well to my girl?"_

"_Mr C.. You know I do.. She is all I care for.." awww.. I so want to kiss her.. Is it appropriate with my parents here thought? No, it's not.._

"_Good.."_

"_Well since we are all here together I just wanted to tell something.." my dad and mom had those huge smiles on their faces again.. I really want to know.. _

"_Mr C, Mrs Carlin I want to say thank you for bringing this amazing girl to our world.. To my world to be more exact.. She is the best person I know and she makes__ me wanna be better every day.. So I want to thank you.." I promise I saw a tear on my mom's face.. Ashley turned her face now looking at me.. She took my hands in hers and immediately I felt her warmth.._

"_Spence.. The moment I saw you I felt my heart skip.. When I saw you flying on that ice I knew I was a gonner.. I knew I had to make you mine.. My life before you was black and white.. The moment you spoke to me my life painted with colors.. The most bright ones.. So.. What I want to say is that I can't imagine my life without you.. I want to wake up next to you every day for the rest of my life.." I was crying.. I was crying really hard because I knew what she would ask.. And the answer would be definitely yes.. "So.. Spencer Carlin would you like to be my wife?"_

"_YES" I didn't wait to say yes.. I stood up and kissed her.. Took her in my arms and never wanted to let her go.. She was mine and I was hers.. For our rest of our life.._

"_We don't have to get marry right now.. I know we are still young.. But I wanted you to know that I want you to be my present and my future.. I love you Spence.."_

"_And I love you Ash.."_

"_JUST KISS HER ALREADY" I promise.. I heard that phrase like I don't know how many times today.. And every time I was kissing her back.. Not because they were asking us to do it but because I wanted to.. I was engaged to Ashley.. Ashley Davies was my fiancée.. I was going to marry Ashley Davies.. I need to say that so I know it's true.._

Best night ever.. I still remember it like it was yesterday.. Ashley Davies and I married.. Still can't believe it..

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**TBC**

**Next chapter the last.. I so loved this story..**

**Reviews are always welcome..**

xx


	35. Chapter 35

**Last chapter.. Thank you all..**

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**Chapter 35**

You dream.. Your dreams maybe come true.. Maybe not.. I dreamed of a girl.. A girl that held my heart.. A girl I loved and loved me back.. Didn't know her name then.. Look at me now.. Living the dream.. She is here.. She loves me.. And the most important.. I love her too..

Ashley and I were engaged for five months.. We didn't want to wait to get married.. Someone might say that everything with us were so fast.. We moved in together.. She proposed after four months and we married after a year.. If you found the one why don't do all these things? Why not be with your other half completely? What stops you? Exactly.. I wanted to be married with Ashley.. I wanted to be able to call her my wife..

Everything was perfect.. We married to an unconditional place.. Yeah.. I am sure you have seen weddings taking place at the beach, under the water, a church.. Well Ashley wanted to arrange everything.. Typical Gemini.. She wanted to surprise me and she wanted to have the last word.. Not that I didn't love it.. She was way hot arranging everything.. Well I had the flower arrangement and the guests.. She had to choose the place and the one who was going to marry us.. I asked her.. I asked her so many times.. All she was saying was _'it will be a surprise'.. _And it was..

We married on December.. Yeah.. Beautiful.. That's what I said.. Denver was beautiful in winter and especially Christmas.. I wasn't anxious.. Actually I was so calm.. I don't know why all the brides are so nervous for their day.. Ashley from the other hand was a little bit nervous.. She is so cute.. Ok.. She is hot.. Don't tell her I said that she is cute..

My mom was here a month before the wedding so she could help me with everything.. But really I didn't need anything.. Jenna was my maid of honor and Steve was Ashley's best man.. Our best friends to our special day.. Steve became my best friend too.. After everything happened he was there.. And I will never forget that..

Mom was running up and down.. She was crazy.. I was calm and she was saying _'we have to do this, we have to do that'._ But I was thankful for her being here.. A girl needs her mom to her wedding..

I couldn't wait to marry Ashley.. And to make love to each other as a married couple.. If you told me now that 12 years ago I would fall in love with a girl and marry her I would say you are crazy.. But I am still in love with a girl and I am still married with her.. And it's like we met yesterday..

Oh.. yes.. the wedding.. I was curious of what Ashley would wear.. She have told me to wear a dress.. When I asked her she was again ' a surprise'.. I wanted to know.. She knows how I get when I don't know things but yet she was keeping me in dark.. The only thing she said was _'bring something warm with you'.._

I remember the day of the wedding.. Everything was so perfect.. And she was the most beautiful girl in the world.. I knew that everyone knew where our wedding would be held.. And everyone kept it a secret from me.. So once I got inside the car they blind folded me so I didn't know where we were going.. I was wearing a white strapless wedding dress.. I had my hair in curls as Ashley likes them and a light make up.. In general I was simple.. Nothing too much.. And I liked it..

Once we were there I was still in dark.. Literally.. Jenna was near and Summer too with my father and mother.. They held my hands guiding me where I was going to meet the love of my life.. We stepped in and immediately I knew.. I didn't have to see that we were in an ice rink.. I felt the cold and the warmth.. It was a place I grew up.. It was my second home.. I smiled and pull off the cloth they had on my eyes.. All I said was 'Ashley' while smiling..

She was there.. In the middle of the ice rink.. Looking beautiful as ever.. Smiling.. And she was hot.. White tight pants with a white vest.. I could see her abs.. She was so damn sexy and all I could think was that I wanted her right there.. My father took my hand and guided me to her.. To my soon to be wife.. To my love..

Once I found her there I wanted to kiss her.. And that I did.. I didn't see her for three whole days.. They wouldn't let me.. I told them that it was a girl and girl wedding but still no.. No.. I should sleep away from her.. I really hated to be alone without her..

"_You look beautiful baby"_

"_You look perfect"_

And she was perfect.. I was curious why she wanted for us to get married here.. But when she started saying her vows I knew why..

"_Spence.. I didn't know what love was until I met you.. From the day I met you I feel complete.. You are it for me.. I wanted to marry you here because it is where everything started.. I saw you here and I lost my heart.. I lost my mind.. That day I knew I was yours.. So I wanted for us to marry here.. Where everything started and where everything stops.. I want you to know that I am yours.."_

I still remember it.. After so many years.. Like it was yesterday.. Ashley Davies was, is and will be mine forever.. And I am hers too..

After the wedding we left everyone and we started our honey moon.. Ashley prepared that too.. Another surprise for me.. Paris.. City of love.. She knew I wanted to go there.. And I would be there for a month with my wife.. My wife.. I still feel that everything is a dream.. But it is not..

We continued with our practices.. We were the golden couple.. Ashley was a town hero and I was one too.. I won several other golds to state championships and to tell you the truth all I did was having fun.. All these years I was stern and wanted the gold so much.. Now I was having fun and I was relaxed and I was the top.. Ashley still was there waiting for me while I was practicing.. She said that she was feeling aroused by seeing me skating.. And every time she would help me release my stress after the practice.. I followed her too to some championships she had to go.. Like I would leave her alone.. I had to watch for anyone wanted to woo my girl..

We were married for six months when we started to discuss about starting our family.. We both wanted a kid.. It would complete our happiness.. The thing was that we both wanted to be mothers.. And I couldn't wait to see her pregnant..

When we discussed it we sat down one day and looked our programs.. That year I would be out a lot to different championships and Ashley would have no championships.. So we thought that she would be the one to carry our first child.. I so wanted a little Ashley running inside our house.. I didn't like Ashley being pregnant and me not being there for her.. She assured me though that everything would be fine.. We had our family.. And they would be there for her..

We were pregnant after 8 months of trying.. Ashley was pregnant and I was a happy mother and wife.. I was always with my ear on her tummy trying to listen our baby.. Which was silly actually because our baby was a little bean then.. But every time she would stroke my hair and hold me tight there.. She was always saying that we were her two loves..

That year I had to be away from her two times.. Two times, which was two weeks total but it was like I was leaving her for two years.. I couldn't leave her and every time she would push me out the door.. Every time she was trying not to let her tears fall.. I couldn't though.. Every time I was crying..

After 9 months our baby was born.. It was a healthy girl.. She had the beautiful brown hair of her mother's and blue eyes.. You wonder why blue eyes.. I donated the eggs.. We wanted to have something from both of us.. Ashley was calling her her blue eyed angel.. And she was.. She was calling us her blue eyed angels.. And she was my goddess..

Angelina was the perfect baby.. She wouldn't wake up at night, and she wouldn't cry at all.. She was waking up only to eat.. Ashley was breast feeding her.. Every time she did that I was next to her.. I loved how she looked when she was feeding her.. She looked so calm.. They looked so perfect.. My girls..

Angelina was two years old when Ashley and I were to go to the next Olympics.. Sochi, Krasnodar Krai, Russia.. Russia held a special place in my heart.. It was my first gold and after that Ashley proposed.. Angelina was too young for us to bring her together and Russia isn't a friendly place in winter and with a child.. I was that close to stay behind and not compete.. My mom assured us that she would take good care of our baby girl.. I thought that my heart would break leaving her..

That month my mind was constantly to our baby.. I was calling every hour just for her to listen my voice and just to listen calling me mama.. Ashley was the same.. We were so whipped.. We tried very hard to stay focused to our sports.. Again my Ashley won her third Olympic gold and I won my first.. Yes.. I won the Olympic gold.. I wanted to for my girl..

And now.. Here we are.. 12 years later.. A wife, a mother to a beautiful girl and to a beautiful little boy.. Yes, we have two.. And I carried our little boy.. I stopped ice skating after the Winter Olympics in Russia.. Our sport has a dead line.. I was 27 when I won my gold.. I was 31 to the Winter Olympics of 2018 and I would have to compete with other girls who would be younger than me.. I didn't left the sport though.. I couldn't.. I coach the little ones.. And Angelina is one of them.. She loves to skate as she loves to snowboard.. She took it from both her mothers.. And not that she is my child but she is good..

Ashley won her silver medal to that Olympics.. They were in South Corea this time.. We couldn't follow her there.. It was far and I had a 6 year old and a one year old.. I couldn't take them.. They were young.. But we saw our mommy competing.. Ashley was 32 then.. She was still fit and very energized.. She still is by the way.. She lost the gold from a 20 year old.. But not bad for her being in her age.. After that she hanged her board and she stayed with us.. We had our golds here waiting for us every day..

Andrew was the spit image of me.. Blond with blue eyes.. Yes.. Both our childs have blue eyes.. Ashley doesn't have a problem with that.. Actually she loves it.. We are just perfect.. Not only for each other but for our family too..

"What are you thinking pretty lady?"

"I was thinking everything.. Us.. Our first time.. The day I married you.. our children.."

"I love you Spence.."

"And I love you too baby.. So much"

"After all these years and you still love me?"

"Actually I think I love you even more Ashley Davies"

"You are a charmer Spencer Carlin Davies"

"Ah.. yes I am.."

"Where are the little ones?"

"I think they are still sleeping.."

"Mmmm.. So what if I continue from where I left on..?"

"Ash.. mmm.. no.. what if.. mmm.. what if.."

"Yes baby? Do you want to say something?"

"I can't think with your hand down there.." I felt her hand go deeper in me, her kissing me.. I couldn't think..

"Ash.. what if Andrew wakes up and come here.. You know he does.. Fuck.." she was stroking me.. She had two of her talented fingers inside me and I was in cloud seven.. Again..

"What did you say love?"

"Ash.. Fuck baby.."

"You are so beautiful Spence.. I am so in love with you.." she was talking with me while she was inside me.. Rubbing my clit with her thumb.. That girl still drives me crazy.. I was in an orgasmic bliss..

"Assshhh.."

"Mmmm baby.. Taste good.."

"You are so so bad.. Hope you know it.."

"Only with you baby.."

We were there naked, covered with our sheets when our door knocked and a very sleepy Andrew came in.. He was so cute..

"Mommy? Mama? Are you sleeping?"

"No baby.. Come here.."

He climbed to our bed and he found his place between us..

"Baby? What is it?"

"Mommy.. I had a bad dream.." Ashley was stroking his long blond hair.. We didn't want to cut them.. Angelina always said that he looked like a girl.. But she was protecting her little brother when they were outside.. When they were here they were a brother and a sister..

"Yes baby? And what did you see?"

"I saw that mama left us and I was crying.." I saw Ashley.. She was worried about a dream.. They are so cute..

"Andrew baby.. I am not going anywhere.. ok? I wouldn't leave mommy and you guys.. You are my heart.. And I can't leave my heart.. Can't i?"

"You won't mama?"

"Awww baby.. never.." Ashley kissed his forehead and took him in her arms.. Ashley and our kids were my heart too.. I couldn't live without them..

"Mom, mama?"

"Hey princess.. What are you doing up this early?" Angelina was a spit image of Ashley, only with blue eyes.. Brown long curls.. She already breaking some hearts..

"I heard voices.. What Andrew doing here?"

"I saw a bad dream.."

"And you had to come and wake up mommy and mama? You are a big boy now Andrew.."

"Angelina.. He is still young.. He is only five.."

"Mama.. I didn't sleep with you when I was young"

"Yes you did.. You liked to sleep to mommy's arms every night.. And many times you were sleeping with us.."

I saw her softening her face.. guess she remembered although she was young then..

"Can I come too?"

"Aren't you a little old for that?"

"Just move you goldilocks.." I loved seeing them together.. I never had brother's and Ashley had her sister.. Who by the way remembered Ashley after Angelina was born.. Ashley just showed her our door.. I thought that she would like to have back her family.. But all she said was _'my family is you and our kids'._ What not to love to this woman..

Here we are.. My babies.. Including Ashley of course.. My family.. Laying here.. To our bed.. Laughing.. My perfect family.. My perfect life.. I look at Ashley and I just mouth..

'I love you'

'I love you too'

THE END..

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**Always b..**


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